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THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL
P U R I T Y T E S T
_______________________________________________________________________________
Version 4.0 (500)
Final Release
23-Apr-1988
_______________________________________________________________________________
Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with
going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love. Murphy’s law on
sex: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Chaste makes
waste. Virginity can be cured.

This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced Research
Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics Laboratory.
The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted
as representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the
Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be
interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed
any of the actions contained herein.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer of Liability

The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that a person
must copulate in control, and use good judgement at all times; that partners’
conditions vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather changes and
previous use; and that dirty sheets, variations in terrain and bed surfaces,
spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed obstacles, and
many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users
and customers, exist throughout the bedroom area. Personal managers
(pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and equipment are constantly in
use and may be hazardous to those not copulating in control. Impotence,
collisions, and social diseases resulting in injury can happen at any time,
even to those copulating in control with proper sexual equipment. Inherent
risks are part of the sport and may exist within your partner. As a condition
of being permitted to use the facilities of your partner, the user of this test
agrees to copulate in control and within the limits of his/her ability, and
further acknowledges and accepts these hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes
the risk of injury or loss to person or damage to property which might result
from use of the partner’s facilities.

As a further condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your
partner, the customer understands and agrees that: (1) in the event of a
transfer of use by another or anything else in the management’s opinion is
misconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or nuisance, this service may be revoked
…End of the part1. To be continued..

_______________________________________________________________________________
THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL
P U R I T Y T E S T
_______________________________________________________________________________
Version 3.5A (400)
Final Release
13-Apr-1985
_______________________________________________________________________________
Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with
going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love. Murphy’s law on sex:
Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Chaste makes waste.
Virginity can be cured.
This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced Research
Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics Laboratory.
The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted
as representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the
Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be
interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed
any of the actions contained herein.
_______________________________________________________________________________
N O T I C E
Disclaimer of Liability
The user of this test acknowledges, understands, and agrees that sex is a
hazardous sport; that a person must copulate in control, and use good judgement
at all times; that their partner’s condition vary constantly and are greatly
affected by weather changes and previous use, that dirty sheets, variations in
terrain and bed surfaces, spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and
debris, clothed obstacles, and many other natural and man-made obstacles and
hazards, including other users and customers, exist throughout the bedroom
area. Personal managers (pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and
equipment are constantly in use and may be hazardous to customers not
copulating in control. Impotence, collisions, and social diseases resulting in
injury can happen at any time, even to customers copulating in control with
proper sexual equipment. Inherent and other risks are part of the sport and
exist in your partner. As a condition of being permitted to use the facilities
of your sex object, the user of the partner agrees to copulate in control and
within the limits of his/her ability and further acknowledges and accepts these
hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes the risk of injury or loss to person or
damage to property which might result from the customer’s use of the partner’s
facilities.
As a further condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your
partner, the customer understands and agrees (1) that in the event of a
transfer of use by another or anything else in the management’s opinion is
misconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or nuisance, this service may be revoked
without refund; (2) that the partner is the property of the harem and, upon
…End of the part1. To be continued..

The Purity Test

Answer YES or NO to the following 100 questions. At the end of the test,
total up the number of NO answers. This is your score. The higher the score,
the ‘purer’ you are.

All questions pertain to men and women not related to you, unless otherwise
specified.

I.

Have you ever:

1. Had a cigarette?
2. Had alcohol?
3. Tried pot or hash?
4. Tried stronger drugs (coke, acid, shrooms, etc)?
5. Thrown up from alcohol?
6. Kissed a woman?
7. Kissed a man?
8 French kissed a man?
9. French kissed a woman?
10. Put your tongue in someone’s ear?
11. Had someone put their tongue in your ear?
12. Fondled a woman’s breast, or had your breast fondled?
13. Put your mouth on a woman’s breast, or had it done to you?
14. Seen a nude man?
15. Seen a nude woman?
16. Had telephone sex?
17. Undressed a man sexually?
18. Undressed a woman sexually?
19. Been sexually undressed?
20. Fondled a man’s genitals?
21. Fondled a woman’s genitals?
22. Had an orgasm?
23. Climaxed from a partner’s fondling?
24. Brought a partner to climax thru fondling?
25. Performed fellatio?
26. Performed cunnilingus?
27. Climaxed from oral sex?
28. Brought a partner to climax thru oral sex?
29. “Finger-fucked”?
30. “Dry fucked” (with all your clothes on)?
31. Bathed or showered with a man?
32. Bathed or showered with a woman?
…End of the part1. To be continued..

================================================================================

THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL
P U R I T Y T E S T

_______________________________________________________________________________

Version 5.01 (1)
Final Release
11-September-1989
_______________________________________________________________________________
Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with
going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love. Murphy’s law on
sex: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Chaste makes
waste. Virginity can be cured.

This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced Research
Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics Laboratory.
The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted
as representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the
Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be
interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed
any of the actions contained herein.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer of Liability

The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that a person
must copulate in control, and use good judgement at all times; that partners’
conditions vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather changes and
previous use; and that dirty sheets, variations in terrain and bed surfaces,
spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed obstacles, and
many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users
and customers, exist throughout the bedroom area. Personal managers
(pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and equipment are constantly in
use and may be hazardous to those not copulating in control. Impotence,
collisions, and social diseases resulting in injury can happen at any time,
even to those copulating in control with proper sexual equipment. Inherent
risks are part of the sport and may exist within your partner. As a condition
of being permitted to use the facilities of your partner, the user of this test
agrees to copulate in control and within the limits of his/her ability, and
further acknowledges and accepts these hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes
the risk of injury or loss to person or damage to property which might result
from use of the partner’s facilities.

…End of the part1. To be continued..

Dedicated to the Ladies

I can’t help it. I love eating a girl’s pussy. If the lady in
question has a nice pussy, I’ll lick her until my jaws ache and my tounge
is ready to fall off. I just love it.

Why? Because, I enjoy watching her reactions while I explore her
most sensitive areas. Eating pussy well involves more than just your
tounge and her pussy too. It involves the rest of her, and a certain
attitude you project to your woman. The attitude is simple, so we’ll
tackle that first.

Some guys have the attitude that once she’s wet, she’s ready, and
they move on to intercourse. This misses the point. The point isn’t to
“get her ready”, but rather, to give her pleasure. If you have an
attitude that says to a woman “I want to make you feel good”, she’ll
enjoy it more, and what you spend in time and effort on her, she’ll
return to you later.

This brings us to “how do I do it?” Simple. Do anything that comes
to mind, but without hurrying. Take your time and tease. Don’t rush her
to an orgasm. If you’ve already buried your tounge between her legs,
then begin thinking about other parts of your bodies. Use your hands.
While you’re there, your hands can caress her thighs, calves, feet (if
she’s not ticklish), or her stomach, sides, belly, etc. If you have long
hair, lightly draw it over some sensitive area, such as her inner thighs.

The actual act usually concentrates on her vagina and clitoris. Now,
if you’re paying attention to her reactions, you’ll notice that constant
clitoral licking won’t get the job done. Spend anywhere from 15 to 45
seconds on her clit, then move around. Circle the clit with your tounge
tip, lightly, and then follow the folds of her labia down to her
entrance. Spend some time using your lips to play with her pussy-lips,
and then work your way back to her clit. This will allow you to taste
her, and coat your tounge with her wonderfully slippery juices, which
aids in creating the sensations on her clit.

Personally, I’ve found the area between the outer folds of her labia
and the tops of her thighs to be incredibly sensitive. This little “no-
man’s-land” area is often overlooked. Before diving in, slowly and gently
kiss and lick this area, teasing her by getting closer and closer on one
side, and just when she expects you to “go for it”, start all over on the
other side. This same idea can be prolonged even more by starting with
her inner thighs, just above her knees and working your way up, nipping
her skin with your lips lightly as you alternate from thigh to thigh.
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Sex means more than intercourse; exploring all the different
variations enhances your sex life and keeps it from getting
stale. Masturbating your partner can be very exciting for both
of you. So, read on and learn how to let your fingers do the
walking.

Mutual masturbation can be a thrilling experience, but first, we
need to study the basics of manual technique. Most men feel
women aren’t skilled at handling penises. Their grips are too
limp, lacking conviction and exuberance. They seem afraid to
apply pressure, yet often pull or tug at inappropriate moments,
disrupting the rhythm. They also have a tendency to scratch.
Clearly, we all need to be more knowledgeable about the proper
methods of mutual masturbation. Either you or your partner can
perform the following exercises. But it is written with an
experienced woman in mind.

The first concern is always a matter of size. Is it large or
small? Somewhere in between? No issue has ever received greater
attention than the size of a man’s penis. Man’s obsession with
cock size is probably a mental vestige of his primitive primate
past, but as far as human sexuality is concerned, it’s a waste of
time. A large penis doesn’t have any effect on a woman’s physi-
cal enjoyment unless she has a deep-seated psychological attach-
ment to well-endowed men.

How about its shape? Is it curved like a boomerang or is it
straight like an arrow? Does your fist fit around the spongy
mass of the shaft? Does your hand completely engulf it? This is
good because you can squeeze it all at once. But don’t be an
organ grinder. Be gentle, yet firm. If the penis has an unusual
girth, your hand may not completely encircle it. In such cases,
try both hands to insure you don’t miss any of the tender areas
while stroking.

Explore every square inch of his genital surface area. A man
loves to have his penis worshiped, played with, tickled, fondled,
massaged. Let him know that you are not afraid, ashamed or
disgusted.

Don’t start stroking or jerking quite yet. Just feel the full-
ness of it all. Let your fingers run from the balls to the top
of the cock head, swirl around there, then slide back down the
other half and end back down at the balls. The movements should
be swift and smooth, without bumping or stalling.
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Another Great You-Can-Be-A- file from Brutus Maccabee!
(c) July 11, 1988 {8th day of the Tour de France}

Ok, you’re a normal guy with normal needs. Your girlfriend won’t put out; you
don’t have enough for a whore. Pornos and Playboy just don’t cut it anymore.
You want real live sexual activity before you. Fucking the Dead is one way.
(Someone wrote a file on that didn’t they?) But this way maggots don’t eat your
cock off while you’re a-fucking.
If you live in a large building on a high floor, peeping should be no problem.
All you need to do is find a careless neighbor anywhere in your view from your
window. A young couple who still go at it and walk around the house naked a lot
are prime specimens.
A pre-peeping idea:
Try to carry groceries up for the wife while the husband is at
work. Then while she is going back downstairs, open the shades
in the bedroom and open the window in the bathroom. If they are
careless enough then you should get a good show that night.
Or, try any way to get into the apartment. If you are young and
innocent looking say you are taking some poll or survey. Then do
the thing with the blinds and get ready.
If you’re into illegal shit, why not just break in? And if you
have electronic equipment, set up some cameras in the bedroom or
bathroom or wherever. Also, bug the place to get the full audio
as well.
Ok, you’re ready to peep. At night, if they have the lights on and you have the
lights off, they can’t see your ass at all. Just get out the binoculars and
peep to your hearts content. Of course, when they turn out the lights you
can’t see shit, but they won’t turn them off right away know what I mean? And
they never turn off the bathroom light so if she is a habitual showerer…get
going. If the building they live in is close enough to yours you don’t even
need binoculars. But if you do need them, focus them beforehand because they
are a bitch to focus in the dark. Kitchens are good places to look as well,
because I have found that after a good fuck the wife usually comes out for a
drink and doesn’t bother to re-dress, and the light from the refrigerator
makes her show up very nicely.
Another good place to peep is at the beach. Some of the girls there have so
little on that they’re better than naked because it holds all the flesh in
place know what I mean? Just take out you’re binoculars and pretend that
you’re looking at the sailboats or light houses or some bullshit like that.
Then casually scan the beach! Woah! Awesome! Focus on some asses, you can see
through some of the material at close range.
You can also peep into houses and even onto the beach while hidden in a tree.
Or even while just sittng in a tree where you’re not really noticeable. Always
go pretty high for best affect. (Or is it effect?). If you know a hot girl
well, try to go over to her house and when there open all the shades and blinds
and curtains. Then if someone in her family catches you around the house while
peeping just say you were coming to see her. Ta-da!
Welp, thats all for this presentattion. There are a lot more places and ways
to peep, but I hope you get the general idea!
Special thanks to: All my careless neighbors and all the hot girls on the beach.

This has been a Brutus Maccabee presentation!
Watch for my new X-Rated series:
The Adventures of Betty Bondage and Laura Lust

==================================
THE O.S.J.G.(tm)
THE OFFICIAL STRIP JOINT GUIDE(tm)
==================================

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO GENTLEMEN’S ENTERTAINMENT

ELECTRONIC SHAREWARE EDITION

Volume 1, Number 2

THE OFFICIAL STRIP JOINT GUIDE(tm)

This edition is the abridged electronic version of THE
O.S.J.G.(tm) and contains information on over 250 clubs in the
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Somehow my brother had managed to score some dope of the kind
that I hadn’t seen around in almost 5 years. We’re talking KILL.
ER. MTV was on but the sound was off. Howard pulled out some
papers. We were sitting cross-legged, on the carpet, in front of
the tv.
“Screw that,” I said. “Grab the bong.” He did.
I filled it, but just enough for one good hit. That Wilson
Philips song ‘Hold On’ came on.
“All right,” said Karen, as I took the first hit. “Quick top
ten list.”
“Topic?” asked Howard.
“Top ten things heard at a Wilson Philips party, after Chynna
and Wendi have gone outside to make out with their boyfriends.”
I half-laughed, half-choked, and passed the bong to my
brother.
“Excellent,” I said. “Number 10–Such a pretty face.”
Karen said, “9–a great personality.”
My brother scored big with “She writes *all* the songs you
know.”
But Karen topped it with “Brian was the most talented.”
Karen did her hit and I said “She was a champion swimmer in
grade school, you know.”
“What number is that?” asked Karen, whose eyes were already
mere slits.
“Number two–,” said Howard, “Where’s Chynna. Where’s
Wendi?”
“All right,” I said. “And the number one thing overheard at
the Wilson Philips blah blah blah–” Howard drummed a little on the
carpet. “Got any blow?”
“Careful,” I said, as the bong teetered precariously from the
encouragement of my brother’s foot.
Howard was the first to say it. “I am stoned.”
“How much of this did you get?” asked Karen.
“Just an ounce. Should last for a while at this rate.”
This was clearly true.
“Mariah Carey,” said Karen, who then stuck her finger down her
throat. The ‘Emotion’ video was on. “Turn the sound up, How,” I
said.
“You don’t *like* her, do you?” asked Karen.
“Gimme a break. I just wonder if she hits those notes on her
back, too.”
“Figures.”
“Wait,” said Karen, her eyes opening suddenly. She turned the
sound down on Mariah. “I’ve got an idea. I’ve got to say it now,
because I only think of it when I’m stoned, you know?”
…End of the part1. To be continued..

DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION
Federal Aviation Administration
14 CFR Part 61
(Docket No. 75487345, Notice No. 88-523040306)

REGULATION OF MILE HIGH CLUB OPERATIONS

ACTION: Notice of Proposed Rulemaking (NPRM)

SUMMARY: This notice proposes to require additional qualifica-
tions and testing before a certificated pilot may engage or
continue to engage in Mile High Club Operations (MHCO) while also
exercising the privileges of a pilot certificate.

DATES: Comments should be received before December 31, 1999.

ADDRESSES: Comments may be mailed or delivered in sextuplicate
to: Federal Aviation Administration, Office of Chief Counsel,
Attention: Rules Docket (AGC-204), Docket No. 75487345, 800
Independence Avenue SW, Washington DC 20591. Comments may be
examined in the Rules Docket weekdays, except Federal holidays,
between 8:00 a.m. and 5:00 p.m.

SUPPLEMENTARY INFORMATION:

Need for Rulemaking

Under the provisions of the East Chitlin Switch, Kansas, Wheat
Silo Subsidy Act (P.L. 100-872398-A), Congress has mandated the
FAA to regulate the activities of the formerly unregulated Mile
High Club (MHC). Under present rules, anything accomplished at
an altitude of one statute mile (5,280 feet) above ground level
(AGL), regardless of the degree of difficulty or the level of
expertise demanded, earns a certificated pilot a scroll illus-
trated by Milton Caniff and a three-color bumper sticker.
Through a procedure of self-regulation, the organization has set
forth requirements that activities take place at an altitude of
at least 5,280 feet above ground level to prevent Denver pilots
from messing around on the ramp. Although the organization has
adopted rigid admission requirements for its pilot members, a
recent National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) report dis-
closed an accident in a light training aircraft (LTA) caused by
pilot error in the form of disorientation of a student pilot (sex
unknown) after the Certified Flight Instructor (CFI) (sex un-
known) attempted to introduce the student to a maneuver not
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Maybe it sounds too good to be true, but there’s now a simple,
foolproof way for men to boost their partners’ and their own
pleasure during lovemaking. And it doesn’t rely on aphrodisiacs or
drugs. Instead, it involves doing a set of easy to learn
pelvic-muscle exercises called Kegels (after Arnold Kegel, M.D.,
the gynecologist who developed them over 40 years ago). Women have
been practicing these moves for years to intensify their orgasms
and increase their partners’ stimulation. Now, sex therapists and
researchers have discovered that both partners can benefit sexually
when men do Kegels, too.

Kegel exercises both strengthen and tone the pubococcygeal (PC)
muscle-which runs from front to back in men’s and women’s
pelvises–as well as the surrounding pelvic muscles. The PC muscle
is what helps bring a man or woman to climax, and, along with other
pelvic muscles, it also controls urination.

In his recent book, “The New Male Sexuality (Bantam Books,
1992), psychologist Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., claims that many of
his male patients who practiced pelvic-muscle contractions over
time reported increased sexual sensation and more intense orgasms.
That’s not all. Over the past 20 years, William Hartman, Ph.D., and
Marilyn Fithian, Ph.D., co-directors of the Center for Marital and
Sexual Studies in Long Beach, California, have prescribed Kegel
exercises to more than 1,300 male patients who were troubled by
erection problems. Most of the men who did the exercises as
prescribed reported firmer erections than before.

What’s more, nearly 200 of Dr. Hartman and Dr. Fithian’s male
patients who practiced Kegels learned to delay ejaculation,
enabling them to prolong sex to their own and their partner’s
satisfaction. And most surprising, 10 percent of these men were
eventually able to have multiple orgasms–that is, two or more
climaxes during a single act of intercourse before ejaculating.
(Orgasm and ejaculation don’t always occur simultaneously in men.)

With so many sexual benefits, Kegels are the perfect
“sexercises” for men as well as women to master. Besides helping to
create the physical conditions that enhance lovemaking, the
exercises can spice up sex in another way as well. “Partners can
take turns tightening their pelvic muscles during intercourse,”
explains Dr. Hartman. “Each will feel the other’s muscle contrac-
tions, which adds to the excitement.”

For a man who wants to learn how to perform Kegels, the first
step is locating the PC muscle. Here’s how: Some time when he has
the urge to urinate, he should sit on the toilet with his legs
spread, start to urinate, then try to stop the flow. (The PC muscle
is the one he squeezes to do this.) After restarting the flow, he
can practice stopping and restarting the stream of urine. It may
take several attempts to actually isolate the PC muscle–the
buttocks muscles have a tendency to kick in if the legs aren’t kept
wide.
When a man has familiarized himself with the sensation of
contracting the PC muscle, he’s ready to practice holding the
contractions. He should first try holding a contraction for several
seconds three or four times a day. Over the next few weeks, as he
continues doing Kegels, he can gradually increase the time of the
contraction until he is holding it for 10 to 15 seconds. Next, he
should alternate these Kegel holds with a series of short, quick
contractions. Dr. Hartman recommends that men gradually work up to
a daily routine of 100 quick PC contractions and five holds. (Women
who want to learn how to do Kegels should follow these same steps,
but they only need to do the long holds for five seconds; men,
however, need the 10- to 15-second hold for delaying ejaculation.)

After a few months of diligent practice, a man should be ready
to try using the Kegel hold during intercourse to delay ejacula-
tion. But first he must familiarize himself with the sensation
known as ejaculatory inevitability–the point at which he can no
longer hold back an ejaculation. He will feel an uncontrollable
urge to ejaculate as his prostate gland and seminal vesicles
contract. Once a man has developed an awareness of this sensation,
he can then learn to produce a PC contraction before he reaches
that point of no return. (Another option is for a man to try
practicing this technique on his own while masturbating.)

Most men can do Kegels anywhere, since they’re seldom aroused
by the exercises; women may want to practice Kegels in private
since for them, the increased blood flow to the pelvic region is
more likely to spark arousal. Continued over a lifetime, the
exercises can help men (and women) head off urinary incontinence
later in life. That plus greater arousal, enhanced orgasms and
longer-lasting sex make these some of the simplest, most beneficial
exercises a man or woman can do.

–

As they collapsed, ringingly, to the bed, she nuzzled
the warmth of his elusive armpit and sussurrated with the
ecstasy of his glorious odor. “Baby,” she cried out to his
middleaged mass, “infant, child, sexually immature
Homo Sapiens!”
Aroused, he nibbled the fresh sweet hair between her newest
toes. “Oh, how I long for the days when I could gaze hungrily
into your unblinking third eye and be presented with a gift
of mucus!” He attached himself like a schnauzer with lockjaw
to her inner thigh and sucked the marrow from her lust-
crazed bones.
She ran her remaining fingers over the chitinous exoskeleton
of his collapsible love-stick, shifting him into third. Panting
with pleasure, he sniffed her unpulchritudinous vestigial
milk bottles. “Sweetheart, saccharine blood pump, tongue-nerve-
exciting fleshy blood-soaked hydraulic thing, no one, not
even the rain, has such small glands.”
Her blood seething with desire, she sank her angry yellow teeth
into the cartilage of his nose. Nearing his climax, he extruded
a tuning fork from his lower abdomen. As she plonked his G-string,
musical instruments at last sprouted from his erect, bleeding
earlobe. Crying out in pure, bloodthirsty joy, she blew
his trumpet three times.

And the walls came.

–

Hey, folks!
Stuck in the dreaded, sweaty doldrums of summer, I thought
I’d add a postscript to my latest effort.
Recuperating from a couple of broken fingers, it’s been a
long time since I uploaded anything, and I just wanted to check
in and let any interested readers (if there are any of you out
there) know that I’m alive and well, out of my cast, and able to
type, again. I enjoy writing these stories and have about eight
projects started but can’t seem to finish them.
Recently, I was told that the “BOSWELL” stories have been
pretty widely distributed over the nation’s BBSs and that tickled
me. My problem with that is that I just sit here and stare at a
blue screen without any feedback.
I try to do a few different things, and I was just wondering
if any of you could do me a favor and occasionally drop me a note
and let me know if you like or dislike what you’ve read. Always
feel free to check in with comments, criticisms, suggestions,
questions, etc. I would also like to hear how far away from
Baltimore my stories are showing up out there.
If you’re interested, I have a list of my stories below.
Sometimes the titles are changed, so I’ve included a short
synopsis for each. If there are any you haven’t read but would
like to, just let me know.

The national board that I call the most often is:
Rusty n Edie’s BBS
Call
1 216-726-2620 300 / 1200 / 2400
1 216-726-3589 U.S.Robotics Dual Standard 14.4k V32 Compatible
1 216-726-3619 Hayes V-Series V42 9600 / 19200
1 216-726-3584 CompuCom SpeedModem 9600 /19200

so you can leave comments in their adult file section under a
name like “JBOS-00X.ZIP” or something similar. If you’d like to
correspond privately, leave your handle or whatever in the
comment, and I’ll get right back to you.

Thanks.

J. BOSWELL

============================================
Stories by J. BOSWELL, as of July 21, 1992.
\/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/ \/
…End of the part1. To be continued..

IDEAS FOR STORIES

I enjoy writing Adult stories. My tastes in stories tend to the
bizarre and, as of this posting, I have written eleven of them,
including one novella-length story. Four of them have already been
uploaded to bulletin boards, the remaining seven will eventually be
uploaded and shared after proofreading and minor editing.
Below are outlines for six new stories I have not yet written. As
I get an idea I like to outline it so that it begins to take
substance before it is lost and becomes just another weird fantasy.
I plan to eventually write full stories for all of the concepts
outlined below, however, I offer them as ideas to any other writers
who care to use them. This means that there may be several stories
written on the same premise by several authors. I don’t think this
is bad and may even be quite interesting! Every writer has his or
her own style, along with his or her own `hot’ buttons. Feel free
to change or modify some of the situations, or even the ending, to
suit your own style.
If you do begin to write a story using one of these premises,
please upload a short text file called IDCOM1, IDCOM2, etc. and let
us know which story line you are working on. This will allow others
to decide to work on a different story line, or possibly even the
same one. A kind of contest could develop to see who can write the
most erotic story given the same premise.

Dr. Phil
9/16/92

(note: leave any messages to MISTER PHIL)
—————————————————————

1) FOR THE PLEASURE OF THE COURT

The scene is Medieval Europe. Young Lady Madeleine is the ward of
her uncle who is a Duke and her legal guardian. She is obnoxious at
court. She has created many enemies, especially the Queen.
While travelling, her uncle is ambushed by robbers and killed.
When news reaches the castle several people see it as an
opportunity to discredit Madeleine. The Queen falsifies documents
to show that the young Lady’s uncle was a traitor and a thief. All
of his lands are forfeit and poor Madeleine is left penniless. She
is made a ward of the castle and forced to become a serving maid.
The Queen exhults in humiliating her at the castle and gleefully
punishes her for any complaints from the other Ladies. Her former
rivals at court take pleasure in tormenting her. Her former suitors
…End of the part1. To be continued..

+——————-+
! What Hypnotism Is !
+——————-+

Hypnotism, contrary to common beleif, is merely state when your mind and body
are in a state of relaxation and your mind is open to positive, or cleverly
worded negative, influences. It is NOT a trance where you:

o Are totally influencable.
o Cannot lie.
o A sleep which you cannot wake up from
without help.

This may bring down your hopes somewhat, but, hypnotism is a powerful for
self help, and/or mischeif.

+———————–+
! Your Subconcious Mind !
+———————–+

Before going in further, I’d like to state that hypnotism not only is great
in the way that it relaxes you and gets you (in the long run) what you want,
but also that it taps a force of incredible power, beleive it or not, this
power is your subconcious mind. The subconcious mind always knows what is
going on with every part of your body, every moment of the day. It protects
you from negative influences, and retains the power to slow your heartbeat
down and stuff like that. The subconcious mind holds just about all the info
you would like to know about yourself, or, in this case, the person you will be
hypnotising. There are many ways to talk to your subconcious and have it talk
back to you. One way is the ouja board, no its not a spirit, merely the minds
of those who are using it. Another, which I will discuss here, is the pendulum
method. Ok, here is how it goes. First, get a ring or a washer and tie it to
a thread a little longer than half of your forearm. Now, take a sheet of paper
and draw a big circle in it. In the big circle you must now draw a crosshair
(a big +). Now, put the sheet of paper on a table. Next, hold the thread
with the ring or washer on it and place it (holding the thread so that the
ring is 1 inch above the paper swinging) in the middle of the crosshair. Now,
swing the thread so the washer goes up and down, say to yourself the word “yes”
Now, do it side to side and say the word “no”. Do it counter clockwise and say
“I don’t know”. And lastly, do it clockwise and say “I dont want to say.”
Now, with the thread back in the middle of the crosshair, ask yourself
questions and wait for the pendulum to swing in the direction for the answer.
(Yes, no, I dont know or I dont wanna say…). Soon, to your amazement, it
will be answering questions like anything… Let the pendulum answer, dont try
.. When you try you will never get an answer. Let the answer come to you.
…End of the part1. To be continued..

A Beginners Guide

Horses are a proud, independent breed of animal. Their breed, their social
life, their training (or lack therof), and their own developing personality
are a few of the variables that must be accounted for when attempting to
understand them individualy. Horses, like people, all have individual
personalities so one must really spend a great deal of time with an animal
to develop a significant relationship. I can say with a great deal of
confidence however, that anyone that spends a significant amount of time
observing and interacting with horses can do ANYTHING with them.

Basic reproductive behavior

Horses, like most animals, depend on the sense of smell to signify the
readiness of a female for an encounter. The stallion will approach the
mare from behind and make a squealing noise…if the mare is in heat she
will “wink” her pussy and squirt a few short squirts of urine. The
stallion will have to approach her several times (unless shes a real slut)
before she will acquiesse. The mare will often prove recalcitrant for some
time, even threatening to kick the stallion. As he squeals and nips her
however, with time, she becomes acquiessent and allows him to mount her and
complete the union.

The Stallion

A full grown stallion’s cock, when fully erect, will measure some two to
three feet long. It can be three to six inches thick at the base, to about
two inches thick at the head. Horses are somewhat different from other
animals in the way their cock head works. When a horse is fully erect and
excited and ready to mount, his cock head is somewhat pointed and not as
thick as might be normally observed. This is to facillatate an easier
entry into the mare. After the horse has entered and reaches a climax the
head swells (though it is more spongy then hard) into a fist sized mass as
he ejacultates. It is thought that this serves as a plug to force the
semen deep into the mare rather then allowing it to leak out. A full grown
stallion can ejaculate about one cup ( 8 ounces ) of semen. It will take
quite a few spurts to accomplish this. Each time his tail will raise and
lower in a brief flick. The first few jets are of a thin to average
consistency of cum. The final few jets are of a thick gelatinous
substance… it is thought that this serves to “seal” the mares pussy so
that the semen has time to do it’s thing before leaking out. Horse semen
is extremely viscous, if you touch your finger to a pool of it you can draw
a thin string of it five to six feet long! Horse cum has a nice flat taste
to it…not at all bitter like man’s cum. You can easily drink cups of it
with no discomfort.
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Book Review: “Heraclea : A Legend of Warrior Women” by Bernard Evslin
Copyright 1978 ( out of print , but I can tell you how to
find it … )

Book Rating : PG18

Bernard Evslin is an expert on Greek and Roman mythology , and some
of his academic works and fictional novels are still in print.
“Heraclea” is a retelling of the legend of Hercules , with a mighty
heroine in the role of Hercules.

Of both divine and mortal ancestry , the frail yet feisty teenage
girl Palaemona is transformed into the powerful , 9 ft. giantess
Heraclea. During her Herculian labors , she fights enemies both human
and monstrous.

Another Greek myth retold by Evslin is the origin and fate of the
Centaurs – retold in a way that is sure to appeal to fans of amazons!

The illustrator is Lucy Martin Bitzer , who has duplicated the white
on black look of old Grecian pottery. Her line is minimal and fluid ,
and her naturalistic, pre-steroid sense of anatomical porportion is a
refreshing alternative to the “L.H. Art/Eric Stanton” types of
amazon women. ( Variety is the spice of life … )

This is a little charmer of a book , especially for fans of tall,
strong women. There’s no explicit sex , but if you use your
imagination , this book is full of subtley suggestive passages. In
fact , there’s more sensuality and romance in Evslin’s text than there
is in a lot of the x-rated amazon fiction I’ve read. ( Also, I notice
that the x-rated stuff is more impact intensive … ).

How To Find It?

I found my copy in a remainder stack at a local bookstore. Used
bookstores file it in their Mythology section. However – you can read
it for free ! I’ve seen “Heraclea” in my local library – in the Young
Adults section! So, if you think you can borrow it with a straight
face , do it , and enjoy!

–

Excerpt from GOOD VIBRATIONS: THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO VIBRATORS by
Joani Blank. Copyright 1989 by Joani Blank. Published by Down
There Press, P.O. Box 2086-BS, Burlingame CA 94011-2086. Available
at your favorite bookstore or by sending $8.00 (includes postage
and handling) to the publisher.

Once Upon A Time…

I walked a few times past the department store salesclerk who was
eagerly demonstrating the big blue and white massager. “On sale -
– only $19.50 today,” she said. Although I had heard about sexual
uses for electric vibrators, I couldn’t justify spending twenty
dollars just to try the massager for masturbation. So I turned my
back and asked her to hold the whirring machine to a chronically
tight spot on my right shoulder. The massager was stronger than
any I’d ever felt. The low speed produced a deep throbbing
sensation. The high speed was so fast it either tickled or hurt,
depending on how it was touching me. It hurt my shoulder so good
that I bought it without further hesitation. At the time, and for
some weeks later, I didn’t even try masturbating with it.

Up until then, the only way I had masturbated was with my hand,
occasionally using an object in my vagina at the same time. I had
inserted the handle of my electric toothbrush into my vagina,
enjoying the gentle vibrations and warmth, but it had not
occurred to me to use it on or near my clitoris. Within moments
after I held the new blue and white vibrator to my clitoris, I
experienced the most intense orgasm of my life. Although it was
all over before I knew what was happening, I saw great potential
for pleasure in my new toy.

My partner and I, being yard sale and flea market fanatics,
started to collect “antique” and just plain old vibrators and
massagers at every opportunity. After a couple of years, we had
acquired more than thirty treasures. At first, I tried
masturbating with every one and found, to my delight, that all of
them, regardless of size, shape, or intensity of vibration, gave
me orgasms. We kept them amid the jumble of their own cords and
loose attachments in a fabric suitcase under our bed.
Periodically we would haul out the suitcase, untangle a few, and
plug them in for our friends to giggle or marvel at. Some went
out on loan and never returned.

…End of the part1. To be continued..

This is a Guide written by one of my friends, BeastBoy. I hope you
find it informative… Constructive comments welcomed. All flames
will go to /dev/null…

A Guide to Selecting a Female Animal for Fun and Friendship

Copyright 1993 BeastBoy
All Rights Reserved

INTRODUCTION

I have often been asked by the would-be bestialist: “What kind
of animal is the best?” A lot of the answer, of course, is
personal taste, but many guys have little or no experience, and
have no knowledge on which to base an opinion. An ideal
situation would be to have one of each to experiment with, but
in this day and age, few can have a place to keep farm animals,
and fewer still can keep a selection of them. Therefore, I
have written this paper, in which I will share some insights
gained over more than 35 years of making love to animals of all
common species. My opinions are my own, of course, but perhaps
the information here will help lead you in the right direction.

First there are some important things that are common to all
animals:

WHERE TO GET YOUR ANIMAL

If you live in an area where you can have farm animals, there
are bound to be one or more livestock auctions nearby. If you
decide to attend, get there early and inspect the possibilities.
A lot of this is just gut feel, since you will not likely get
close enough to touch them. If you are going to bid on an
animal, select one that has a sleek coat, bright eyes and an
alert posture. A lot of auction animals have not been treated
very well in their life, so they will be suspicious of humans
and may be difficult to train.

The best place to buy livestock is from a breeder. The cost
will be higher, but you will be able to better evaluate the
animal and find out something about her history. You will be
able to get a “hands on” inspection, so be sure to briefly get a
…End of the part1. To be continued..

A few people have chatted to me via private mail, asking
for advice on having sex with animals. I would like to put
down a few pointers for novices. Let’s concentrate on dogs for
this article, as they are the animal of my preference, and
also I think they are the animal most furries will readily have
access to. I will try to explain any jargon I use, but only
briefly, as I don’t wish this to be a technical discourse. If
you need clarification on terms used here, comment to me on
Alt.Sex.Bestiality or check a good ‘Encyclopaedia of Dogs’. I
am also only going to refer to animals that have not been de-
sexed (in the case of males, having their testes surgically
removed. In the case of females, having ovaries removed). I
can’t bear the thought of any animals of mine missing out on
sexual pleasure. Even so, I know in any city dog populations
are too high, and hundreds of dogs are destroyed daily. There
are good arguments for de-sexing, but a responsible owner
should be able to keep an entire animal without accidental
litters (and still keep the animal sexually satisfied!)
Also note that when I refer to dogs, I mean any breed
Labrador or larger. In my mind, anything smaller than a
Labrador isn’t really a dog. If I refer to a ‘Giant Breed’, I
am talking in the category of English Mastiff, Great Dane, St.
Bernard, Irish Wolfhound, Newfoundland, etc. These are REAL
dogs.
The first rule that leaps to my mind is this:- the
animal MUST BE CONSENTING!! If the animal is enjoying the
experience of having sex with you, the sex is so much more
fulfilling. If the animal is not enjoying it, you are
committing rape. If you have to force the animal into
anything, stop. I hope most of us would agree that we are
animal lovers, sharing sex with our animal partners as a gift
of pleasure. Any other attitude toward your animal partner
makes you a loathsome, slimy reptile, unworthy of the status of
a toad. So there.

Let’s start with bitches.
Bitches become sexually mature (depending on the size of
the breed) at around 8-18 months. The larger the breed, in
general, the later they will have their first heat (Oestrous,
the bitch becomes fertile after a 5-7 day period of menstrual
bleeding. Male dogs become insanely attracted to her scent,
and will chew/dig through anything to get at her. This lasts
for around 7 days, followed by another 5-7 days of menstrual
bleeding. After that the bitch is no longer fertile. Her next
…End of the part1. To be continued..

(coming soon in Video XCitement Magazine!)

I contacted most of the main advertisers in a recent issue (#24) to obtain
information for this Guide. Most responded promptly. Some sent samples. Only
a few did not bother to respond–and they are listed as such! I wonder why…?
As you can see, I did not ask for too much information–just the basics. I
wanted to help those of you new to buying this type of video get an idea of what
all is available. Hopefully, it will do the job. If it helps, great!

Preview
Name, Address Û cat. Û Video Û # Û Their Best-Selling Video Price
ÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ
Scratch ³ free ³ N/A ³ 4 ³ “Thirsty”
Box 3032 ³ ³ ³ ³ 95 minutes AMATEUR $43.00
Kansas City, Ks. 66103 ³ ³ ³ ³ girl solo; oral/face cum shots
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
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AQUA VIDEO ³ ³ ³ ³ 1986 MS. NUDE GALAXY CONTEST
9 Southmoor Circle ³ free ³ $15.00³ 8 ³ 60 minutes Pro $19.95
Kettering, Ohio 45429 ³ ³ ³ ³ Nude activities & contests: mud
³ ³ ³ ³ wrestling, dancing, body painting
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Lindsey Holden ³ free ³ N/A ³ 3 ³ “Lindsey #1″
1214 Washington St. ³ ³ ³ ³ 60 minutes AMATEUR $25.00
Vicksburg, Ms. 39180 ³ ³ ³ ³ girl solo; misc; excellent!
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Hott #420-MH ³ free ³ N/A ³ 5 ³ “Irene Shaves #1″
129 E. Colorado Blvd. ³ ³ ³ ³ 30 minutes AMATEUR $19.00
Monrovia, Ca. 91016 ³ ³ ³ ³ solo; shaves; strips; masturbates
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÅÄÄÄÅÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
Video Alternatives #405 ³ free ³ $20.00³ 20³ “Cheryl’s All-Day Affair”
1620 Country Club Plaza ³ ³ cred- ³ ³ 60 minutes AMATEUR $25.00
St. Charles, Mo. 63303 ³ ³ ited ³ ³ girl w/ many guys! Nonstop fun/sex
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WVP ³ $2.00³ $24.95³ 31³ “Vol. 16 – Darlene”
7737 Fari Oaks Blvd. I29³ ³ ³ ³ 65 minutes AMATEUR $35.00
Carmichael, Ca. 95608 ³ ³ ³ ³ lingerie changes; nudity, posing
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New World Video ³ free ³ $30.00³ 62³ “Vol. 20″
Box 858 ³ ³ ³ ³ AMATEUR $35.00
Aberdeen, Wa. 98520 ³ ³ ³ ³ 3-way interracial action
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California Classic Clips³ free ³ N/A ³ ³ “#10″ and “#4″
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…End of the part1. To be continued..

The next day, after work, we showered and packed our last minute
items and drove off, leaving behind all the stress and the frantic pace of
our daily lives. We took the scenic route, going through Lake Tahoe and
into Nevada before turning south towards the Grand Canyon. The first day
was just one big adventure, and outside of Tahoe, I let you get the feel of
the clumsy motor- home. Sitting up high, with the large windows made us
feel like we were on top of the world. You did well driving the motorhome,
so we could now go to some other places as we’d planned, taking turns
driving if we had to head for home later that we’d planned.

We’d planned on driving at night, when traffic would allow us not
only the best economy, but the traffic would be sparse as well. Besides, I
had my own lusty fantasies in mind too. We left the Tahoe area late the
second day, the sun setting over the Sierra’s with an orange glow. We
drove south, down a well maintained highway, meeting little traffic. You
whipped up some sandwhichs while I drove, and we talked about how quiet it
was out in the high desert of Nevada. I opened a window, letting in the
warm night air, and even at 60 mph it felt warm and gentle. I looked at
you and felt your passions begin to stir even across the r.v. You removed
your top, baring your breasts to me, and then sat in the right front seat,
caressing yourself. In the dim glow of the instruments, I saw you slide
your hand under the elastic waistband of your shorts, and begin to rub
yourself. “Talk to me.” You said, “Tell me what you want to do.”

My cock pressed upwards in my jeans, straining against the fabric.
I looked over, seeing your legs spread over the armrest of the seat, one up
against the dash. Your breasts wiggled invitingly as the r.v. found small
bumps in the road. The only car we saw that night drove past, its
headlights tossing a fast moving glare over your naked tits, letting me see
you briefly illuminated. Then you’re back in shadow, and my eyes have to
adjust for the dim light. “Talk to me. Tell me how you’re going to fuck
me.” You say.

“Hmmm. First, I’m going to pull off the road a ways, and spread a
blanket on the ground. Then, I’m going to pull you from the r.v.,
completely naked and make you kneel on all fours while I fuck you
everywhere. I want to fuck your tight pussy, then I want you to suck me
…End of the part1. To be continued..

There’s no other line of “work” as pleasurable and as
overflowing with opportunities to enjoy luxury, travel
and riches as that of the gigolo. And believe it or
not, today it is easier than ever for a man to enjoy
life as a gigolo!
To become a successful gigolo and enjoy the benefits of
this kind of life, you must develop and project the
proper way of thinking. There’s a great difference
between a “male prostitute” and a gigolo.
The male prostitute makes himself available to all
women of all ages, generally concentrating on bored,
frustrated and “exploring” housewives looking for extra
loving as well as variety to satisfy their sex needs. This
type of woman is very easy to spot, and even easier to take
to bed. It makes of a lot of, and a variety of beautiful
sex, but it’s all for free. You have to know precisely how
to cultivate these women to start, and then get them to
continue paying you for each time you “service” them — not
just the loan of a few dollars — which you never intend to
pay back — but $50 or $100 plus expenses for each tryst
you arrange with them.
The gigolo concentrates his efforts on making himself
available to widows and wives of busy businessmen who
really don’t care what their wives do, so long as they
don’t become emroiled in a public scandal. These women
range in age from about 45, on into their 80s.
So the first thing you’re going to have to do is stop
looking for ladies at or about your own age. Dress
yourself more neatly, more stylishly, and begin
“hanging around” the places these women frequent.
You’ll find very few in church! Those that you do find
in church will want to possess you, and somehow or
other steer you to the altar. You’ll find most of them
in night classes at your local college; in
self-improvement, self-awareness, and new life-style
classes; and of course, in all the better class supper
clubs and hotel type lounges.
Relative to evening college courses and
self-improvement discussion groups — these are your
easiest and most fertile “hunting grounds,” because
psychologists long ago proved that the basic reason for
adult enrollment in self-improvement programs is
directly related to a person’s need to be loved. All
you have to do is understand this basic fact, and make
yourself available to fulfill the needs of the women
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the
English language today is the word “Fuck”. It is one magical word which
just by it’s sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate, and love. Fuck, like
most words in the English language, takes it’s name from another language,
the German word “Friklon” which means “WHOOPEE”.

In language, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. It can
be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive
(Mary was fucked by John), or as a passive verb (Mary doesn’t really give
a fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fuckin’ beautiful). As
you can see, there are not too many words with the versatility of “Fuck”.

Besides it’s sexual connections, this lovely word can be used to
describe many situations as follows:

Fraud…………….I got fucked by my insurance agents
Trouble………………………I guess I’m fucked now
Dismay………………………………..Oh! Fuck it
Agression…………………………………Fuck You
Passive……………………………………Fuck me
Confusion…………………………….What the fuck
Difficulty……I don’t understand this fucking business
Despair……………………………….Fucked again
Philosophical………………………Who gives a fuck
Incompetence…………………………He’s fucked up
Laziness……………………………He’s a fuck off
Displeasure………What the fuck’s going on around here
Rebellion……………………………Fuck the world

It can be used in descriptive anatomy: He’s really a fucking ass-hole.
It can be used to tell time: It’s fucking’ Five-thirty.
It can be used in business: How did I get this fucking job?
It can be used as a prediction: Oh well, I’ll be fucked.
It can be maternal: Mother-fucker!
It can be nautical: Fuck the Admiral!
It can be political: Fuck the President!
It can open the door to wonderful relationships: Lets fuck, baby.
It can be used to enhance the meaning of a word: Fuckin’ beautiful.

The mind fairly bogies at the many creative forms for this most
functional word. How can anyone be offended when you say “Fuck”? Use it
in your daily speech. It adds to your prestige.

-Tell someone today, “FUCK YOU”
–

A History of an Aberrent Sexual Contest

“Fnorking” is a colloquial term for contests involving females inserting
small dead animals into their vaginas. All known instances involving “fnorking”
have occurred on college campuses. The contests dealt with several females
competing to insert as many animals as possible into their vaginas, the winner
being the one able to insert more than any of the other contestants. The winner
of the contest was sometimes crowned the “fnork” queen.
The earliest known incidences of “fnorking” occurred in the late 1920’s.
The phenomenon seems to have been an outgrowth of the goldfish eating fad
prevalent at that time. Most goldfish eating contests involved college age
males consuming as many live goldfish as possible. The female collegians of
that time were less inhibited than preceding generations of females and
developed their own version of this fad. They held contests involving the
insertion of as many goldfish as possible. The goldfish were most often
inserted while live. Contest were held late at night in college dormitories,
although there is a report of one contest being held in broad daylight beside a
well stocked pond. This contest is said to have involved at least twenty-five
females and the winner was able to “consume” twenty-seven goldfish.
All known “fnorking” contests seem to have been held at exculsively female
colleges and universities, although, considering the segregation of males and
females at schools in this time period, this is not unusual. “Fnorking” seems
to have been an outgrowth of the general loosening of morals in the 20’s era
and the woman’s sufferage movements of the early part of that decade. The less
inhibited females of the era were more inclined to enter such bizarre contests.
As the fad progressed, the contests were not limited to just goldfish but
were expanded to include other specie of small animals. It is known that
contests were held involving the “fnorking” of hamsters, gerbils, lizards,
salamanders, frogs, small birds and even one contest involving chipmunks. All
of the above contests involved dead animals. The preferred method of killing
the animals was suffocation. The contests were held immediately after the
animals were killed because they were “still warm and still very pliable.”
The phenomenon seems to have disappeared after the turn of the decade.
This is possibly because of the depression era when less females were attending
colleges and also morales experienced a general regression. No known incidences
of “fnorking” have been reported until very recent times.
Recent reports have eminated from the Florida area and from Europe,
specifically at the 1991 “spring break” in Florida and one incidence in 1989 in
Denmark involving sixty college age females inserting frogs in a day long
contest. There were reports of three contests in the Miami area in 1991, two
involving insertion of goldfish and one the insertion of small toy stuffed
animals. The winner of one of the goldfish contests was able to insert twelve
fish and is reported to have recieved a cash prize in the amount of five
hundred dollars.
Interview’s of 1920’s era females involved in “fnorking” contests indicate
that no prizes were awarded in the contests, of that period. The females stated
that most entered the contests due to peer pressure. They also indicated that
the contests were held in conjunction with college fraternity initiations.
The origin of the word “fnork” is very hard to discern. All of the females
interviewed stated that “it was always called that.” One woman did offer as an
explanation that “fnork” is formed from the first letters of greek words
describing the activity. At this time I have not been able to discover the
words used, if there are any. No written descriptions of the activity have been
brought to light, although, considering the type of activity, this is not
unusual. All of the females interviewed were very reluctant to admit to being
in the contests.
Considering the recent resurgance of the “fnorking” phenomenon, it is
possible that the general lessening of sexual inhibitions in females in recent
times has allowed the fad to resurface. In this day of personal video, how soon
will some enterprising person make a record of one of these interesting
contests?

–

WARNING
This article contains sexual situations between consenting
adults. If this pisses you off, don’t look. It also mocks the
selected groups of idiots who don’t bother to fully read posts
and send boring and insulting email (as befits their miniscule
minds). If this bothers you, you should probably not read this.
If you are one of the pea-brains who are being mocked, I
fervently hope this bugs the shit out of you.

DISCLAIMER
This story is false. If you feel insulted by it, I was probably
aiming at you.

I was sitting at my terminal with Julie. Julie’s my
cohort in crime, often putting in long hours with me on those
terminally late projects. She’s a real looker, too, IMHO –
slim, long brown hair, dark eyes, very pretty, and a body that
is to die for.

We were working late one night on a paper that
absitively, posilutely had to be done by the next day. By 9PM,
everyone else had gone home. By 10, we were feeling silly. But
by 11, it was going well, so we felt little guilt in opening up a
window and scanning though the net, seeing what was new and news.
We scanned the usual comp.* groups and moved onto the alt.sex
hierarchy. As usual when we were doing this, Julie was horny as
hell, and would do her best to distract me. In this case, she
started out by nibbling on my ear and running her hands up and
down the inside of my thigh.

“Shit, willya look at that!”

“What’s the problem, Standby?” Her hand was perilously
close to the rising bulge in my jeans.

“Some twits are bitching about a message I put onto the
net!”

“Oh?” she breathed into my ear as her hand started
working the zipper. “What did you post?”

“I was just complaining about the signal-to-noise ratio
of alt.sex.stories and how most of the posted stories are about
…End of the part1. To be continued..

In today’s society, it is relativly easy to get laid, but it does
always help when you have a GAME-PLAN! This is what I am about to offer
you, A planned way to get your prick into a female’s virgina (cunt).

Getting a woman to willingly drop her pants for you is not what would
be classified as an easy task, but the ultimate result of a warm and wet
pussy snuggly wrapped around your throbbing cock is certainly well worth
your most earnest effort!

First, Don’t bother trying to go after the most popular or the best
looking female in your life! That Bitch already has every stud in the world
trying to BANG her… Search out a plain looking female who looks like she
would be flattered by attention… This does NOT mean to pick a female who
is not worthy of your attemtion.

The selection of the TARGETED female is your initial step in the
procedure!

THE INITIAL ENCOUNTER AND COURTSHIP

Your selected Bitch should possess the following traits: She should
have an out going personality, a friendly smile and fairly large tits! She
should be very limited in The Dating Game, and she should not have a
current boyfriend. After all, this isn’t a lesson on how to pick up a Bimbo
or a common whore! This is a lesson on how to PREY on a young and innocent
female! You now want to show an interest in this female. Start out by
smiling at her when-ever you see her… After a few days, if you don’t
already know what her name is, BUMP into her by accident, and act
embarrassed, but keep smiling at her when you do this… Then take this
oppertunity to introduce yourself to her by exchanging names, and be sure
to compliment her that ‘She is one of the most attractive females that you
have seen in months!’

an interest in! (CHEAT! Find out one of her interests and study up on it!)
After all, this is the female that you have decided that you want to FUCK!
Now start SWEET TALKING your target! Mention to her that you heard that she
is also interested in WHATEVER! She will jump at this chance, unless you
are a FUCKING DORK, and then you should have gone after the DOG that looked
she should be BARKING AT THE MOON!

BREAKING THE ICE

…End of the part1. To be continued..

About 88% of women studied experienced sexual fantasies, according to a report
published in ‘The Journal of Sex Research’. Researchers determined that the
subject of the most frequently experienced fantasy was involvment in an
extramarital affair (41%). Other fantasy subjects reported reported by the
women studied included:

Previous sexual experiences, other than the first (39%).
Different sexual positions (38%).
Current sex partners (36%).
Sex in rooms other than the bedroom (35%).
New sex partners (30%).
Sex on a carpeted floor (28%).
Sex in a motel (27%).
Pretending to be with a former lover (27%).
Reliving the first sexual experience (26%).
Sex on a beach (26%).
Having multiple orgasms (25%).
Engaging in oral sex (25%).
Being Sexually uninhibited (25%).

Some other FACTS on a percetage scale:

75% of Americans say good sex is ‘very important’ to a marriage.
25% of American married couples say they argue about sex or adultery.

16% of American men earning less than $5,000 annually say they cheat on their
wives.
70% of American men earning more than $70,000 annually say they cheat on their
wives.

47% of American men say they enjoy sex more than money.
26% of American women say they enjoy sex more than money.

Closing

In closing, I actually am opening. I hope that my plan,
which goes beyond the scope of this work will allow those
of you who have sought out bulletin boards such as this
for some purpose, the ability to recognize that purpose,
to work with it, and to make it grow. I wish you all a
guilt free, sexually fulfilled life and hope to hear from
my first Erosian’s soon.

David P. Thomas
Member of the Dojo (813) 286-4297
Under the Permission of The Dojo’s Sysop,
David Broome/The Handler

I can be reached for comments or registration beginning
February 8, 1989 at the Dojo BBS at 286-4297 evening hours
(6:00pm to 8:00am) ONLY.

–

Growth Possibilities for 1989/90

Understanding is the key issue. The majority of people are
repressed into believing that they are sexually fulfilled
and happy and therefore they don’t need to explore all
those interesting little thought that creep into their
subconscious. They play these ideas of experimentation off
and write off their curiosity to “weird stuff”. Others
recognize their interests, but because of guilt, learned
reaction/shame they shun these experiments. Others learn
to enjoy their pleasures alone, and feel ALMOST totally
fulfilled via masturbation, but fear the possibility of
contact. In 1989, it is my fondest desire that the word
spread concerning Erosian Theory and Practice. There is a
huge audience out there that hides in the closet, jerking
and occasionally venturing out. Erosian Theory is ready
for them. If as you read this, you feel like I am speaking
to you, then I am. ETAP is not a sensation or a good
excuse to get laid. ETAP is a fundemental way of life and
looking at the physical sexual creatures we are and
learning to enjoy that. Whatever your orientation, ETAP
will carry it, as long as it adheres to the Code of
Conduct. If you know that you enjoy sex for sex’s sake, if
you want to learn and explore without fear, without guilt,
then read, study and live this practice. Contact the
electronic bulletin board that this document is produced
on, and leave the author more information. A final release
of this info will include an address where you can write
to obtain more info. The most important things to remember
are: if interested, get involved. If not, stay away. We do
not, can not, and will not take the time to fight
detractors and idiots who cannot understand that we don’t
want to change their world, just our own.

In terms of growth, this document and the accompanying
documents will be archived and uploaded to multiple adult
bbs’s all over the country when complete. In my home town
of Tampa, FL. I am waiting and looking for others to read
and embrace this holistic approach to a comfortable free
thinking sexually full and busy existance. I would be
happy to see 3 cities develop a full scale three Temple
system in twelve months, but in honesty I must believe
that many small groups will form in many areas.

Who is the target of this document? Swingers, lurkers in
bookstores, horny folks everywhere. If you have grown
tired of no sex, or tired of sex that’s weak, sloppy and
meaningless, look towards ETAP.

Above all, if you read this document,and desire the
structure and development discussed here, then you must
contact me for more. DON’T LET IT JUST SIT AND FESTER!
If you contact me and find that you are not interested,
then simply drop it. There is no money involved, no
mailing lists to worry about. If you are interested in
knowing more, this is the most absolutely easy way
possible to learn.

My dream is that some day you will be able to feel
comfortable in the knowledge that in your city there are
50 to 100 Erosians with desires and feelings similar to
yours, and that a phone call can elicit a kind word,
sexual actions, new ideas or support for what you want to
try by yourself or with another.

–

Erosian Treatise on the Physical Self

Erosian Theory And Practice may at some points be
abbreviated as ETAP.
DPT

As an Erosian is well aware, our theory and practice stems
from the physical act of sex. Sex has been defined on many
levels, detailing its influence in love, family, lust,ect.
However it is in the best interest of the studied Erosian
to separate the levels of his/her sexuality and come to an
understanding on each level. By following the above listed
order of sexual definition, we will look at how Erosian
Theory can apply to all levels of sexuality.

LOVE – Erosian Theory finds its biggest opposition, as
well as it’s biggest supporter in the love relationship.
Unless both parties are involved in the Erosian study,
growth, desire, and demand will differ. However when two
compatible people, who both work and understand Erosian
Theory join together in an EXCLUSIVE EROSIAN RELATIONSHIP
they join together to grow, experience and build on the
Erosian concepts together, exploring to the desired growth
potential. Erosian concepts do allow for non-Erosian
relationships, at which time the Erosian should be aware
that he/she will need to limit the physical experience
growth, and expand mentally, or look to physical self
growth via self gratification.

FAMILY – Although Erosian Theory takes a backseat to the
proper way to raise children, many of it’s ideals can
apply. Personal respect for ones’s thoughts and actions,
dignity in sexual relationships, respect for the thoughts
and actions or others, as well as the non-judgemental
aspect of Erosian Theory makes for strong teaching tools
when working to define a child’s attitudes toward sex.
Once again, it cannot be stated emphatically enough that
Erosian Theory and Practice in no way espouses any sexual
activity amongst children.

LUST – This is the cornerstone of the Erosian Theory.
Although we have grown to respond to lust as a negative
term, usually defined as base sexual instinct, this is
merely another program set by narrow minded individuals
who cannot understand the natural goodness inherant in
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Erosian Doctrine #1

( A dictate for all Erosians to learn from. The need for
communications, knowledge and non-agressive sexuality )

Amongst Erosian Theorist, communications must remain open.
Understanding is the essence of knowledge, and lack of
communication breeds darkness and speculation. Contempt
for the lifestyle of another or the specific likes and
dislikes of anothers sexual tastes is bred from two
parents.

The first is ignorance and closemindedness. This stems
from the inability of the normal person to view openly
individual tastes as their own. From the beginning of
time, man has grouped together in ignorance to destroy
what he did not understand. With our abilities and
foresight today, we as a race should long have accepted
what we do not understand, and seek to nurture it and to
learn from it. However, we still hunt down and kill those
lifestyles which do not meet with the approval of certain
religions, ethical values, and other social restraints.
However, if we as a race have not learned to nurture the
unknown, we at least should have learned how to leave it
alone and allow those better equipped to deal with it
handle, work with and enjoy its benefits. However, society
at large has done neither, and as a rule ‘witch hunts’
still exist, seeking to route out and destroy what is not
understood. Erosian Theory is seeking not to change the
minds or ways of society as a whole. We instead are
focusing on ourselves. Taking the belief that change is
best from within, we are seeking to come to terms within
ourselves and within our group, focusing upon our
individual sexuality, and working to building a guilt
free, sexually understood inner community. I believe that
if a group of people come together and support the concept
of Erosian Theory, small, internal groups within the
community will be formed, where members can receive
feedback on their individual guilt concepts concerning
sex, and live under a liberal guideline concerning sex. If
we strip away the layers of false information concerning
sexual practice and it’s purported deviant side, and
merely assume the rules found in the Code of Conduct, we
can pursue doggedly our individual sexual interests, and
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Erosian Theory Developed

My theory came into being from a multitude of experiences
and also from inner feelings which differed tremendously
from standard practice ideas concerning sex. I’ll take
this time to break down a few of these myths concerning
sex in general, and in relation to how Erosian Theory
deals with the same situation.

I. Sex is for people in love, primarily married people.
Men get away with sex because it is condoned for them but
women shouldn’t or they’ll be cheap.

Sex is for every one old enough to deal with and handle
the responsibility of sex. Sex is for married and
unmarried people. Sex is for women as well as men. Sex is
for everyone. It is GOOD, RIGHT, NORMAL, HEALTHY, for
everyone, at anytime or place when consenting adults are
involved. I think the keyword here is consenting adults.
As long as both (or more ) parties are in agreement as to
the nature of their act, there is nothing morally, legally
or ethically wrong with any sexual act.

II. Sex should be between one man and one woman only.

Once again, the keyword here is consenting adults.
Personal tastes, and the backward thinking of certain
cultures have forced us into the molds that we live in
today. Between two consenting women, or two consenting
men, any relationship desired is correct. It is their own
PERSONAL TASTES which defines their sexuality, and not
that of a televangelist or county commissioner. As long as
both parties enjoy and consent to an act, and it doesn’t
infringe upon another’s rights, who is to criticize. Also
who is to say that the act of sex should be limited to two
people. Many times there are parties of three, four, five
or more consenting adults who desire to share each others
sexuality. Where is the harm in this, if the above
guidelines are applied?

III. The act of sex should consist of vaginal/penile
intercourse, with foreplay consisting of hand to genital
or in some circles mouth to genital contact. Anything
other than this is really unusual or sick.

…End of the part1. To be continued..

Code of Practice

Sexual Practices & Guidelines

Based on the research to date, I have compiled a list of
sexual practices which in no way is complete. However, I
have come across a few practices which will not be
accepted withing the Code of Practice for Erosians, and I
will detail the reasons for their failure to be included.

Pedophilia – recognized as committing sexual practices
with a minor, or allowing such practices to be committed,
pedophilia is outlawed by Erosian Code of Conduct #1,2,4
and is recognized as one of the most foul and damaging of
all sex crimes.

Necrophilia – Disallowed because the dead cannot consent.

Scat – Definition (Sexual fulfillment by killing at the
point of orgasm). One of the most heinious of all crimes,
this act is in violation of all Erosians stand for.

Beastiality – Animals cannot consent to sexual practices.

Rape – The most damaging form of forced sexuality.
Reprehensible and unforgivable. Erosians must believe in
the freedom of sexuality and that which is taken and not
given is useless.

There may be additions to this list as time progresses,
and I am doing my utmost to take into consideration all
practices and their ramifications.

Below, are some thoughts and theories behind some of the
activities listed in the Code of Practice.

A,B – Anal sex has come into the limelight in the last 5
or so years, with the advent of the gay revolution. One
point must be made early on about anal sex, and that
regards hygene and disease prevention. Genital to anal sex
can and should be enjoyed if desired, but either the giver
should utilize a condom, or if that is unacceptable, care
should be take to cleanse before and afterward. Care
should also be taken to lubricate the anus prior to entry,
as anal tears are painful and prone to infection. Anal sex
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Code Of Practice

The following is the beginnings of a compilation of sexual
practices, including those deemed to be normal. This list
should in no way be considered complete, and I welcome and
encourage fellow Erosian Theorists to contribute to the
building of this list to its completion. The list also
contains brief descriptions of the practices, as well as a
code which will be combined with each registered Erosian’s
number to form a personal Erosian identification code,
known from here on as a PEIC. This code will allow
Erosians to identify others and to identify their primary
interests.

CODE TITLE DESCRIPTION
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
0 Masturbation Self Gratification,Style
varies, solo artist

1 Straight Enjoys hetro sex, basic
positions.

2 Oral-1 Hetro oral. Male to Fem.
includes 69, and 1-1

3 Gay Gay Sex,rubbing, hands,
massage, love making

4 Oral-2 Gay oral, man/man,woman/
woman. incl. 69, and 1-1

5 Bi Likes either, inc. 1-4

6 Dominant Controls activity,leads
direction of activity

7 Submissive Receives activity,follow
lead given

8 Equal Both give & take, equal
footing in relationship

9 Non-Sexual Theorist only, assigned
for record sake only.

…End of the part1. To be continued..

Code Of Conduct

The following rules apply to all Erosian Theorist
registered and otherwise. They are general guidelines to
follow. If rules are broken then obviously the person has
no desire to continue on his/her study, and has elected to
divorce him/herself from the group. No rules exist for
expulsion of members, however prosecution and conviction
of a member by the city, state or federal government of
the United States for sex crimes will cause the Erosian
Coordinator to delete all input from this individual.

Guidelines

1. No Erosian shall engage in any sexual activity that is
not consented to by all parties involved.

2. No Erosian shall engage in sex with any person who is
unable to realistically make decisions concerning his
or her sexual desires, preferences, likes and dislikes.
This includes minors, the elderly, the mentally or
emotionally impaired or handicapped.

3. Safe sex and thoughtful attention to details of birth
control, disease prevention and especially AIDS
prevention should be practiced by all Erosians.

4. No permanent physical, mental or emotional damage is to
be allowed during sexual practices.

5. Any Erosian not desiring to participate in sexual
activity outside the scope of his own world, should
designate such by placing a N in the questionaire form
when asked about participation.

6. No Erosian should harrass another Erosian who has
placed a N following his PEIC number. This is
signifying that he/she is NOT interested in sexual
activity at that time.

By following the above guidelines I believe that we have
the ability to begin a listing procedure that will allow
others to meet and discuss and possibly experiment with
certain ideas and concepts.
–

Erosian Structure & Hierarchy

Erosian Hierarchy and Erosian Structure are closely
related. Both define and examine the proposed outline of
the growth of Temple and the lesser Temples. In this text,
we will examine Hierarchy and Structure, and in an
afterword, we will look toward possible growth of the
Temple in this year. (1989)

Erosian Structure

In the beginning there was the concept for The Temple of
Eros, a structures system of beliefs created for those who
followed the concepts of guiltless sexual activity and
physical self study. From this structure, grew a need to
develop further physical structures to define internal
sets within the Erosian following. From this reasoning
came the Temple of Eros and the Lesser Temples.

The Temple is the all encompassing body of Erosians who
study, follow and practice Erosian Theory. It is headed by
the High Priest or Priestess, and takes ultimate
responsibility for ritual, ceremony, and content of
Erosian Theory. Erosian Theory supports and studies all
forms of sexuality, with the exception of those mentioned
in the Erosian Code of Conduct. The Temple of Eros seeks
to break down the barrier of sexual guilt, frustration and
segregation, and works diligently to remove the labels
placed by society on those who do not conform to the
“normals” of sexuality.

Within the Temple of Eros, there are two recognized Lesser
Temples. These are the Temple of Sappho, and the Temple
of Satyr. The Temple of Sappho is a divison exclusively
for women, and is inclusive of all styles, forms and
orientations of women’s sexuality. The Temple of Satyr is
a division exclusively for men, and is inclusive of all
styles, forms and orientations of male sexuality. These
two lesser Temples support groups within themselves, known
in the structured format as sub-temples. These Temples are
created in order to more clearly define the subjects of
study available within these bodies of learning. In each
of the lesser temples, one initial sub-temple was formed
at creation. In the Temple of Satyr is housed the Temple
of Homos, devoted to the homosexual male study. In the
…End of the part1. To be continued..

This archive has been changed to reflect the deletion of the file two.txt.
This is the ritual of Eros. To gain access to this text, call the Dojo BBS,
at (813)286-4297 and download the files Eros.Zip.

Erosian Theory and Practice
David P. Thomas

Introduction

It is my purpose to create a text on the values and
practices of Erosian Practice, a study and method of life.
The term Erosian is coined from the Greek god Eros, who
was the male deity worship for sexual prowess. It is also
where modern society has coined such words as erotica and
erotic. I am the sole creator of Erosian Theory, and I
encourage others to study and add to my works. If you have
any comments, additions or questions I can be reached via
E-Mail on the Tampa based bulletin board, The Dojo,
286-4297. Leave E-Mail to David Thomas.

Many people will say when they initially study this text
that it is foul, profane, obscene, dirty, pornographic and
much worse. If you feel this way then this study is not
for you. Please feel no offense, and merely discard your
copy.

Definitions and Guidelines

Erosian Theory was created by myself in order to
categorize, define, and dignify sexual practice. Erosian
Theory can coincide well with standard love/relationship
practice. Erosian Theory is not a swing/swap club, nor is
it designed to be a matchmaking service. All of these
organizations are supported by Erosian Theory, however,
Erosian Theory is a way of thinking, a philosophy, not a
club.

Erosian Theory came into being at the time I recognized a
feeling of comfort involved in my own sexuality. Most
adults will feel to a certain degree comfortable with
standard practice sexuality, including but not limited to
hetro/hetro and homo/homo sexuality. However, it is well
documented that for most individuals to recognize comfort,
they must form meaningful relationships which extend into
the realm of love, commitment, family, ect. Those who
avoid such commitment often lack the required or desired
sexual contact. With Erosian Practice however, we justify
and validate the need and right for sex gratis sexis or to
coin an art term, sex for sex’s sake!
…End of the part1. To be continued..

The Temple of Eros

Erosian Handbook and Lifestyle Guide

April 1989

Table of Contents

1. Erosian Theory and Practice

A. Introduction
B. Definitions and Guidelines

2. Erosian Ritual

A. Disclaimer & Notes
B. Foreward…Erosian Rituals
C. The Induction Ritual
a. The Ritual
b. Appendix A – Inductee Preparation
c. Appendix B – Attendant Preparation
d. Appendix C – Temple Preparation
e. Appendix D – Ceremony of The Fluids

D. The Initiation Ritual

E. The Succession Guidelines

3. Erosian Structure and Hierarchy

A. Erosian Structure
B. Erosian Hierarchy

4. Erosian Codes and Guidelines

A. Erosian Code of Conduct
B. Erosian Code of Practice
C. Sexual Practices and Guidelines

5. Erosian Theory Development & Notes
A. Questions and Answers about ETAP
B. Call to Fellow Erosians
C. Erosian Doctrine #1 (Communications)
D. Treatise of The Physical Self
E. Notes & Misc. Information

–

You never know who you’ll end up diving with – it’s a mixture, good and bad -
but it’s warm – We need our cold-water wetsuit tops on, over our swim gear, but
it’s warm enough to leave off the neoprene pants that are a must back home -
When I get there we have an odd number in the party – we start by diving with a
three – then the next new arrival is buddied with me – she isn’t bad-looking -
on the thin side – but she starts off like a real pain – chip-on-shoulder
feminist -

We start a boat dive – get our kit together – I go to check her over before we
dive – she says ‘don’t treat me like a beginner – I don’t need this macho diver
stuff – I’m an underwater archaeologist’ – well I come from a club where we
look after each other – we take safety seriously – I hope I’ll get the same
from you – she shrugs

we start the dive from the boat after a longish trip out round the coast – a
shallow-water boat dive should be safe and easy – no more than ten metres -
lots of light, warmth and colours – oh we can’t make up our minds to agree
which way to go – signal troubles and squabble – she swims well but wants to
lead off anywhere and everywhere – I follow – hardly any time to look at the
wildlife -

rocks and weed and crud – something wrong – we’re both tangled up in something
– I signal her to wait while I try and get rid of whatever it is – I get out my
knife and start cutting – she’s really nervous – fidgets and flaps – getting
more tangled up – is it net or is it line – can’t see as it’s practically
invisible in the water – just a bit of weed caught in it – I give her stronger
signals to stop fart-arsing about – point my index-finger – show flat of hand -
ring with thumb and first finger – meaning – you – stop right there – ok? -
at last she gives back – ok – she stops moving around and I set to work – only
a few strands round my fins – wow – she’s got in a mess – lots of tangled stuff
– knife isn’t the best for nets, but it’s all I’ve got – a very little air into
her jacket – so she’ll rise up out of the net as she gets free – bit of air
into mine too – I work to free her head first and then on down – what’s this,
more net stuff round her regulator valve – cut it free – stay far enough off
not to get tangled again myself we swap more signals while I work – check
there’s no more panic – she gives ‘ok’ back – right, now her body’s free and
out of the net, only her legs to do, there are strands around her knife-sheath
and fins – eventually we get her entirely free – at last – better check though
I’m pretty sure we’re all ok -

oh fuck, she may be a pain, but she’s got good legs – I get a slight stir about
the cock and wonder what the rest of her is like – well, now the main work is
done, but I run my hands all down her thighs, to make sure there’s nothing
…End of the part1. To be continued..

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| |
| Chinese Words We All Need to Know. |
__________________________________________________________________________|
| |
| Ga Fuck |
| Lin Your |
| Yah Mother |
| Wuh I, me |
| I Love |
| Nee You |
| Papa Father |
| Ta He, She |
| More More |
| Hie a dore More than anything |
| Hando Very much |
| Da Big |
| Me Doesn’t have |
| La er A dick |
| Jeba Pussy |
| Malee Beautiful |
| Shaw Think |
| Nio meo Do you have |
| gice Them |
| Tonesinglien Gay |
| Su Are |
| Nuhie Girl |
| Cawn See |
| Shaw Want |
| Nee numoo num? Will you? |
| La Oh! |
| Er 2 |
| Gun (Name) choo chee Go out with |
| Nee cub cuy? Can you? |
| Way Hello |
| Nee how ma? How are you? |
| Sheen chee ee Monday |
| Sing she ooh(Wansa) Friday (Night) |
| Jeenwhy Tonite |
| See Yes |
| Boo No |
| Nee she wah say? Who do you like? |
| Say? Who? |
| Chingtien Today |
| Chingtien nee how ma? How are you today? |
| Jeenee Spurm |
| Eenway Because |
| Tso Ugly |
| Nee hun tso You are very ugly |
| Nee she whine wu ma? Do you like me? |
| Wa sa ma? Why? |
| Nahnhie Boy |
| Nee su hun malee Nuhie You are very beautiful girl |
| Wa she wa ni tsie tsa I wish you were here |
| Bejuay Shut up |
| Lien Face |
| Wa shu chee nee I miss you |
| Tsa tsi su bu? What is this? |
| Wa jawngway I will |
| Nee yo eegu hun tsa da lawer You got a very, dirty, big, dick |
| Ni she needa jeba. You are a big pussy. |
| Ga ne ma jeba. Fuch your mothers pussy. |
| Chu ga lousi Go fuck the teacher |
| Ni si si jay san juay zo der lern You are the ugliest dick in the world.|
|_________________________________________________________________________|

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