Sperm Swap Blog

Karen wiped the sweat from her brow, and touched the pencil to the pad. The idiots sitting at the booth could not make up their mind, and she was getting really impatient.

"Um," the guy said. "I'm not quite... sure."  He let the last word escape

from his lips as if he couldn’t decide whether or not he should even say it.

Karen had to manually force herself to prevent her foot from tapping

against the hard tile floor. She rubbed her palms on her apron, as the 90 degree sweltering heat made her uncomfortable. The airconditioning was on the blink again, and every time she walked to the kitchen it was like walking through hell. Finally, the guy ordered, and she scribbled it down hurriedly, and went to fill another customer’s coffee cup. Two waitresses short, unbearable heat, and a lecherous boss were really weighing down on her. The sweat from her neck had fallen down her chest between her breasts, half tickling and half itching. She dare not scratch, for fear that her boss would make some comment about health or something of a sexual nature. She cringed at the thought.

gratifying results with coarse fibre grease, while others say a rapid stroke requires a proper high-speed lithium-base grease with molybdenum additives, and yet others insist on vegetable-base lubricants, since petroleum-base lubricants form carbon under heat and pressure, wherefore the sheep-fucker may withdraw his pushrod to find it coated with black, carbonized grease that requires […]

Archive-author: Archive-title: River Dippers …

                  ABOUT RIVER DIPPERS
           SACRAMENTO FREE BEACH ORGANIZATION
    [...]

others were present)

Have you:

scratched and sniffed any catalog? been sexually aroused? had an arousing or sexually explicit dream (Wet Dreams and the like)? skinny-dipped alone? read or bought erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit periodicals? read or bought pornographic material that might be described as really gross? subscribed to any erotic, pornographic or sexually explicit periodicals? (include […]

been sad because someone you knew was getting married? been sad because someone you knew was getting married and now you’d never get to sleep with them? used your hair for the sexual arousal of others (beards count)? searched for the G-spot? searched for the G-spot and found it (you stud)? told him he had when he […]

had sex to campfire light? had sex in full lighting? had sex in absolute darkness? disturbed others with the noise from your sexual activity? been a screamer? caused someone to be a screamer? fucked missionary (old-fashioned way)? fucked dorsally (’doggy’ style)? fucked amphibiously (’froggy’ style)? fucked in the female superior position? fucked sitting up? fucked standing up? fucked in a chair? fucked while leaning over a chair? fucked while […]

used prescription drugs that you didn’t ‘need’ or have the prescription for (’abused’ a controlled substance)? bought or sold a controlled or illicit drug? bought or sold a controlled or illicit drug, wholesale? sold as a controlled or illicit drug a non-drug item (burned somebody)? bought a controlled or illicit drug in bulk for personal use? frequently bought […]

received oral sex? performed mutual oral sex (’69′)? performed mutual masturbation? watched while a woman masturbated? had a woman watch while you masturbated? orgasmed in her (if possible)? orgasmed on her? had her orgasm on you? kissed a woman (or girl) on a first date? necked with a woman (or girl) on a first date? petted with a woman (or girl) on a first date? had […]

instigated a border raid? instigated a border war? watched Benny Hill, Monty Python, Dr. Ruth, Donahue, Geraldo or Oprah? watched primetime soaps? considered romance to be whatever gets him/her out of his/her clothes? considered anything more than a towel “overdressed”? not considered living together without benefit of clergy or legal sanction a sin (can’t live in sin if you […]

161.had sex with someone whose language you don’t (or didn’t) know? 162.had sex with someone whose name you didn’t want to know? 163.had sexual activity with someone ten or more years younger than you? 164.had sexual activity with someone ten or more years older than you? 165.had sex with someone half your age? 166.had sex […]

If you’ve tied someone up and shown them to others and they were naked, add one point. If you’ve tied someone up naked, shown them to others and they were unaware this was intended, add five points. If you’ve been tied up knowing […]

766.licked or sucked a woman’s fingers? 767.had your ear, or ear region licked, breathed upon, sucked or nibbled? 768.licked, breathed onto, sucked or nibbled a woman’s ear? 769.fondled a woman who was asleep? 770.woken up being fondled? 771.had sex with a woman who was asleep and she didn’t wake up? 772.had sex with a woman […]

if you answered ‘yes’ would you do it again If ‘No’ have you thought about it? 370.intentionally unrinated on yourself? if you answered ‘yes’ would you do it again If ‘No’ have you thought about it? 372.intentionally defecated on yourself? if you answered ‘yes’ would you do it again If ‘No’ have you thought about it? 374.mutilated […]

Archive-author: Archive-title: Purity Test -1000 Question

Working from the recollections of depraved minds and an antiquated version of the test, soon was created the 576 point test. A mere five hundred seventy six? This would not do! So over the months was cobbled together the Ultimate Purity Test - field tested and guarenteed to be […]

         Expanded to 247 questions.  This marked the beginning of
         the unisex versions. The story goes that they intended it to be
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