Archive for the ‘sperm eating’ Category

Archive-name Miscellfemfucktxt

Friday, July 31st, 2009

Archive-author: Dick Ramcock
Archive-title: How to Get a Female to Let You Fuck Her!

In today’s society, it is relativly easy to get laid, but it does
always help when you have a GAME-PLAN! This is what I am about to offer
you, A planned way to get your prick into a female’s virgina (cunt).

Getting a woman to willingly drop her pants for you is not what would
be classified as an easy task, but the ultimate result of a warm and wet
pussy snuggly wrapped around your throbbing cock is certainly well worth
your most earnest effort!

First, Don’t bother trying to go after the most popular or the best
looking female in your life! That Bitch already has every stud in the world
trying to BANG her… Search out a plain looking female who looks like she
would be flattered by attention… This does NOT mean to pick a female who
is not worthy of your attemtion.

The selection of the TARGETED female is your initial step in the
procedure!

THE INITIAL ENCOUNTER AND COURTSHIP

Your selected Bitch should possess the following traits: She should
have an out going personality, a friendly smile and fairly large tits! She
should be very limited in The Dating Game, and she should not have a
current boyfriend. After all, this isn’t a lesson on how to pick up a Bimbo
or a common whore! This is a lesson on how to PREY on a young and innocent
female! You now want to show an interest in this female. Start out by
smiling at her when-ever you see her… After a few days, if you don’t
already know what her name is, BUMP into her by accident, and act
embarrassed, but keep smiling at her when you do this… Then take this
oppertunity to introduce yourself to her by exchanging names, and be sure
to compliment her that ‘She is one of the most attractive females that you
have seen in months!’

an interest in! (CHEAT! Find out one of her interests and study up on it!)
After all, this is the female that you have decided that you want to FUCK!
Now start SWEET TALKING your target! Mention to her that you heard that she
is also interested in WHATEVER! She will jump at this chance, unless you
are a FUCKING DORK, and then you should have gone after the DOG that looked
she should be BARKING AT THE MOON!

BREAKING THE ICE

…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellerosia07txt

Monday, July 20th, 2009

Archive-author: David P. Thomas
Archive-title: Erosian Theory and Practice

Erosian Theory Developed

My theory came into being from a multitude of experiences
and also from inner feelings which differed tremendously
from standard practice ideas concerning sex. I’ll take
this time to break down a few of these myths concerning
sex in general, and in relation to how Erosian Theory
deals with the same situation.

I. Sex is for people in love, primarily married people.
Men get away with sex because it is condoned for them but
women shouldn’t or they’ll be cheap.

Sex is for every one old enough to deal with and handle
the responsibility of sex. Sex is for married and
unmarried people. Sex is for women as well as men. Sex is
for everyone. It is GOOD, RIGHT, NORMAL, HEALTHY, for
everyone, at anytime or place when consenting adults are
involved. I think the keyword here is consenting adults.
As long as both (or more ) parties are in agreement as to
the nature of their act, there is nothing morally, legally
or ethically wrong with any sexual act.

II. Sex should be between one man and one woman only.

Once again, the keyword here is consenting adults.
Personal tastes, and the backward thinking of certain
cultures have forced us into the molds that we live in
today. Between two consenting women, or two consenting
men, any relationship desired is correct. It is their own
PERSONAL TASTES which defines their sexuality, and not
that of a televangelist or county commissioner. As long as
both parties enjoy and consent to an act, and it doesn’t
infringe upon another’s rights, who is to criticize. Also
who is to say that the act of sex should be limited to two
people. Many times there are parties of three, four, five
or more consenting adults who desire to share each others
sexuality. Where is the harm in this, if the above
guidelines are applied?

III. The act of sex should consist of vaginal/penile
intercourse, with foreplay consisting of hand to genital
or in some circles mouth to genital contact. Anything
other than this is really unusual or sick.

…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellcolortxt

Saturday, June 20th, 2009

Archive-author:
Archive-title: Your Favorite Color is the Key to your Sexual Life

RED Tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and
enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is
lighted, it may take hours to extinguish. When two Reds get
together, the ensuing erotica could make Lady Chatterley blush.
Lovers of Red tend to be the aggressors and weaker colors should
beware!

YELLOW If you tend to favor Yellow your sexual drivers are
complex and lean toward the adaptable. The favorite color of
homosexuals is Yellow! No don’t panic – not everyone who wears
Yellow is gay. In most cases the person will acquiesce to the
stronger partner’s desires in a passive manner. You will never
enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an
invitation from someone you enjoy or admire.

PURPLE Lovers of the color Purple frequently consider
themselves too regal for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes
are the type who hate to muss their hair. Men are business-like
in their approach to lovemaking. In both sexes, Purple partners
are more concerned with their fulfillment than anyone else’s
gratification.

BLACK Black color preferences point to Black sex. These people
are the misfits of the sex world and seek out each other in
kinship. They tend to prefer perverted sex and are usually
masochistic or sadistic in nature. They are moody people and
often perform at their peak when under stress or during unhappy
times. Police psychiatrists claim that many sex offenders prefer
the color Black. And it is no coincidence that the uniform of
mobsters and teenaged gangs is Black attire.

GREEN Those who prefer Green are fresh and innocent in their
approach to sex. Women who love Green will make love like
virgins all of their life. And a man may always be a trifle
clumsy and awkward, but in a charming and endearing sort of way.
Green lovers are gentle, but not passionate. If chosen as a
mate, one will never need worry about infidelity.

PINK Persons who like Pink show a reluctance to mature in
sexual matters. Women tend to tease; to promise more than they
intend to deliver. In some cases, they flaunt their femininity -
but because they secretly hate men. A great percentage of
prostitutes boast entire lingerie wardrobes in Pink. Men who
like Pink are philanderers and flirts. They are the type who
will take three dates for the same evening and not keep one;
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellpure-40035a

Monday, May 26th, 2008

Archive-author:
Archive-title: Unisex, Omnisex Purity Test 400

_______________________________________________________________________________
THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL
P U R I T Y T E S T
_______________________________________________________________________________
Version 3.5A (400)
Final Release
13-Apr-1985
_______________________________________________________________________________
Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with
going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love. Murphy’s law on sex:
Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Chaste makes waste.
Virginity can be cured.
This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced Research
Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics Laboratory.
The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted
as representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the
Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be
interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed
any of the actions contained herein.
_______________________________________________________________________________
N O T I C E
Disclaimer of Liability
The user of this test acknowledges, understands, and agrees that sex is a
hazardous sport; that a person must copulate in control, and use good judgement
at all times; that their partner’s condition vary constantly and are greatly
affected by weather changes and previous use, that dirty sheets, variations in
terrain and bed surfaces, spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and
debris, clothed obstacles, and many other natural and man-made obstacles and
hazards, including other users and customers, exist throughout the bedroom
area. Personal managers (pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and
equipment are constantly in use and may be hazardous to customers not
copulating in control. Impotence, collisions, and social diseases resulting in
injury can happen at any time, even to customers copulating in control with
proper sexual equipment. Inherent and other risks are part of the sport and
exist in your partner. As a condition of being permitted to use the facilities
of your sex object, the user of the partner agrees to copulate in control and
within the limits of his/her ability and further acknowledges and accepts these
hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes the risk of injury or loss to person or
damage to property which might result from the customer’s use of the partner’s
facilities.
As a further condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your
partner, the customer understands and agrees (1) that in the event of a
transfer of use by another or anything else in the management’s opinion is
misconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or nuisance, this service may be revoked
without refund; (2) that the partner is the property of the harem and, upon
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellpure-100400

Saturday, May 24th, 2008

Archive-author:
Archive-title: Purity Test – 100 Question

The Purity Test

Answer YES or NO to the following 100 questions. At the end of the test,
total up the number of NO answers. This is your score. The higher the score,
the ‘purer’ you are.

All questions pertain to men and women not related to you, unless otherwise
specified.

I.

Have you ever:

1. Had a cigarette?
2. Had alcohol?
3. Tried pot or hash?
4. Tried stronger drugs (coke, acid, shrooms, etc)?
5. Thrown up from alcohol?
6. Kissed a woman?
7. Kissed a man?
8 French kissed a man?
9. French kissed a woman?
10. Put your tongue in someone’s ear?
11. Had someone put their tongue in your ear?
12. Fondled a woman’s breast, or had your breast fondled?
13. Put your mouth on a woman’s breast, or had it done to you?
14. Seen a nude man?
15. Seen a nude woman?
16. Had telephone sex?
17. Undressed a man sexually?
18. Undressed a woman sexually?
19. Been sexually undressed?
20. Fondled a man’s genitals?
21. Fondled a woman’s genitals?
22. Had an orgasm?
23. Climaxed from a partner’s fondling?
24. Brought a partner to climax thru fondling?
25. Performed fellatio?
26. Performed cunnilingus?
27. Climaxed from oral sex?
28. Brought a partner to climax thru oral sex?
29. “Finger-fucked”?
30. “Dry fucked” (with all your clothes on)?
31. Bathed or showered with a man?
32. Bathed or showered with a woman?
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellfucktxt

Friday, October 26th, 2007

Archive-author:
Archive-title: Fuck You

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the
English language today is the word “Fuck”. It is one magical word which
just by it’s sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate, and love. Fuck, like
most words in the English language, takes it’s name from another language,
the German word “Friklon” which means “WHOOPEE”.

In language, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. It can
be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive
(Mary was fucked by John), or as a passive verb (Mary doesn’t really give
a fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fuckin’ beautiful). As
you can see, there are not too many words with the versatility of “Fuck”.

Besides it’s sexual connections, this lovely word can be used to
describe many situations as follows:

Fraud…………….I got fucked by my insurance agents
Trouble………………………I guess I’m fucked now
Dismay………………………………..Oh! Fuck it
Agression…………………………………Fuck You
Passive……………………………………Fuck me
Confusion…………………………….What the fuck
Difficulty……I don’t understand this fucking business
Despair……………………………….Fucked again
Philosophical………………………Who gives a fuck
Incompetence…………………………He’s fucked up
Laziness……………………………He’s a fuck off
Displeasure………What the fuck’s going on around here
Rebellion……………………………Fuck the world

It can be used in descriptive anatomy: He’s really a fucking ass-hole.
It can be used to tell time: It’s fucking’ Five-thirty.
It can be used in business: How did I get this fucking job?
It can be used as a prediction: Oh well, I’ll be fucked.
It can be maternal: Mother-fucker!
It can be nautical: Fuck the Admiral!
It can be political: Fuck the President!
It can open the door to wonderful relationships: Lets fuck, baby.
It can be used to enhance the meaning of a word: Fuckin’ beautiful.

The mind fairly bogies at the many creative forms for this most
functional word. How can anyone be offended when you say “Fuck”? Use it
in your daily speech. It adds to your prestige.

-Tell someone today, “FUCK YOU”

Archive-name Miscellflampasstxt

Monday, October 22nd, 2007

Archive-author: Standby
Archive-title: Flames of Passion, The

WARNING
This article contains sexual situations between consenting
adults. If this pisses you off, don’t look. It also mocks the
selected groups of idiots who don’t bother to fully read posts
and send boring and insulting email (as befits their miniscule
minds). If this bothers you, you should probably not read this.
If you are one of the pea-brains who are being mocked, I
fervently hope this bugs the shit out of you.

DISCLAIMER
This story is false. If you feel insulted by it, I was probably
aiming at you.

I was sitting at my terminal with Julie. Julie’s my
cohort in crime, often putting in long hours with me on those
terminally late projects. She’s a real looker, too, IMHO –
slim, long brown hair, dark eyes, very pretty, and a body that
is to die for.

We were working late one night on a paper that
absitively, posilutely had to be done by the next day. By 9PM,
everyone else had gone home. By 10, we were feeling silly. But
by 11, it was going well, so we felt little guilt in opening up a
window and scanning though the net, seeing what was new and news.
We scanned the usual comp.* groups and moved onto the alt.sex
hierarchy. As usual when we were doing this, Julie was horny as
hell, and would do her best to distract me. In this case, she
started out by nibbling on my ear and running her hands up and
down the inside of my thigh.

“Shit, willya look at that!”

“What’s the problem, Standby?” Her hand was perilously
close to the rising bulge in my jeans.

“Some twits are bitching about a message I put onto the
net!”

“Oh?” she breathed into my ear as her hand started
working the zipper. “What did you post?”

“I was just complaining about the signal-to-noise ratio
of alt.sex.stories and how most of the posted stories are about
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellerosia05txt

Thursday, September 27th, 2007

Archive-author: David P. Thomas
Archive-title: Erosian Theory and Practice

Code Of Practice

The following is the beginnings of a compilation of sexual
practices, including those deemed to be normal. This list
should in no way be considered complete, and I welcome and
encourage fellow Erosian Theorists to contribute to the
building of this list to its completion. The list also
contains brief descriptions of the practices, as well as a
code which will be combined with each registered Erosian’s
number to form a personal Erosian identification code,
known from here on as a PEIC. This code will allow
Erosians to identify others and to identify their primary
interests.

CODE TITLE DESCRIPTION
ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ
0 Masturbation Self Gratification,Style
varies, solo artist

1 Straight Enjoys hetro sex, basic
positions.

2 Oral-1 Hetro oral. Male to Fem.
includes 69, and 1-1

3 Gay Gay Sex,rubbing, hands,
massage, love making

4 Oral-2 Gay oral, man/man,woman/
woman. incl. 69, and 1-1

5 Bi Likes either, inc. 1-4

6 Dominant Controls activity,leads
direction of activity

7 Submissive Receives activity,follow
lead given

8 Equal Both give & take, equal
footing in relationship

9 Non-Sexual Theorist only, assigned
for record sake only.

…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellcwordstxt

Tuesday, September 18th, 2007

Archive-author:
Archive-title: Chinese Words

_________________________________________________________________________
| |
| Chinese Words We All Need to Know. |
__________________________________________________________________________|
| |
| Ga Fuck |
| Lin Your |
| Yah Mother |
| Wuh I, me |
| I Love |
| Nee You |
| Papa Father |
| Ta He, She |
| More More |
| Hie a dore More than anything |
| Hando Very much |
| Da Big |
| Me Doesn’t have |
| La er A dick |
| Jeba Pussy |
| Malee Beautiful |
| Shaw Think |
| Nio meo Do you have |
| gice Them |
| Tonesinglien Gay |
| Su Are |
| Nuhie Girl |
| Cawn See |
| Shaw Want |
| Nee numoo num? Will you? |
| La Oh! |
| Er 2 |
| Gun (Name) choo chee Go out with |
| Nee cub cuy? Can you? |
| Way Hello |
| Nee how ma? How are you? |
| Sheen chee ee Monday |
| Sing she ooh(Wansa) Friday (Night) |
| Jeenwhy Tonite |
| See Yes |
| Boo No |
| Nee she wah say? Who do you like? |
| Say? Who? |
| Chingtien Today |
| Chingtien nee how ma? How are you today? |
| Jeenee Spurm |
| Eenway Because |
| Tso Ugly |
| Nee hun tso You are very ugly |
| Nee she whine wu ma? Do you like me? |
| Wa sa ma? Why? |
| Nahnhie Boy |
| Nee su hun malee Nuhie You are very beautiful girl |
| Wa she wa ni tsie tsa I wish you were here |
| Bejuay Shut up |
| Lien Face |
| Wa shu chee nee I miss you |
| Tsa tsi su bu? What is this? |
| Wa jawngway I will |
| Nee yo eegu hun tsa da lawer You got a very, dirty, big, dick |
| Ni she needa jeba. You are a big pussy. |
| Ga ne ma jeba. Fuch your mothers pussy. |
| Chu ga lousi Go fuck the teacher |
| Ni si si jay san juay zo der lern You are the ugliest dick in the world.|
|_________________________________________________________________________|

Archive-name Miscellcarpentrtxt

Tuesday, September 4th, 2007

Archive-author: Neil Bernstein
Archive-title: John the Carpenter’s Tale

(c) Neil Bernstein 1993

One Sunday, driving Dolores’ truck back from a provisioning
trip, Pete stopped along the riverbank to watch a crew of panting
scullers labor their way against the current. Their slender craft
slipped around chunks of floating ice smoothly as a ballbearing
sliding down a greased track. Got all the time they need to do
that, he thought bitterly. Men who could go home to adoring wives
and get up the next morning to go to work.
In Lombard’s General Store he met old John buying feed for his
three geldings. The man’s belly nearly split his overalls as he
carried the sacks out to his car. Pete hid a chuckle.
“You come back for coffee now,” John bellowed.
Pete could see no reason to refuse him. He followed John’s
rusty truck up a series of gravel paths, shook hands with his
pretty wife. John eased himself into a great armchair. He bade
her serve them their coffee and an endless succession of snacks:
toast, honey, ham sandwiches, spiced drumsticks, maple candies,
pear cobbler…
When she was done serving she settled back on a kitchen stool
and nursed her baby. Pete watched her play with the suckling,
bouncing him gently on her knee. He knew, feeling the certainty
only the superstitious know, that it could not be John’s child.
John had been a carpenter for twenty years. One morning he
found the work too exerting and gave it up violently, pitching his
toolbox through the window of the house he was building. He tried
a variety of jobs after that, settling on delivering the Weekly
Argus. He sat long hours alone at the head of his kitchen table,
playing solitaire late into the night, gaining ten pounds a year.
He always left a half-finished puzzle set up in the living room.
Pete remembered the last time he’d been out to John’s house.
A selectman was giving Grandpa Goosehair some problems, badmouthing
him in town meeting. The old man wanted Pete to see if John could
dig up any incriminating tax information. John looked over
everyone’s tax forms, considered it his neighborly duty. He got so
he could do the arithmetic so quickly that everyone brought him
their crumpled forms: farmers who could only read with a certain
pair of spectacles they’d lost years and years ago, folks who could
read Latin but couldn’t be bothered with figures.
Pete’d got himself lost on nameless gravel tracks and had
arrived very late. The ex-carpenter’s wife had just finished
showering and now stood before a full-length mirror. Her hips were
swathed in fine linen, her arms left half-bare by a silk-finished
nightgown. She braided her hair and rubbed fine powder and oil
into her tremulous neck. John knelt on the parlor floor, his
…End of the part1. To be continued..

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