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Archive-title: Fnorking

A History of an Aberrent Sexual Contest

“Fnorking” is a colloquial term for contests involving females inserting
small dead animals into their vaginas. All known instances involving “fnorking”
have occurred on college campuses. The contests dealt with several females
competing to insert as many animals as possible into their vaginas, the winner
being the one able to insert more than any of the other contestants. The winner
of the contest was sometimes crowned the “fnork” queen.
The earliest known incidences of “fnorking” occurred in the late 1920’s.
The phenomenon seems to have been an outgrowth of the goldfish eating fad
prevalent at that time. Most goldfish eating contests involved college age
males consuming as many live goldfish as possible. The female collegians of
that time were less inhibited than preceding generations of females and
developed their own version of this fad. They held contests involving the
insertion of as many goldfish as possible. The goldfish were most often
inserted while live. Contest were held late at night in college dormitories,
although there is a report of one contest being held in broad daylight beside a
well stocked pond. This contest is said to have involved at least twenty-five
females and the winner was able to “consume” twenty-seven goldfish.
All known “fnorking” contests seem to have been held at exculsively female
colleges and universities, although, considering the segregation of males and
females at schools in this time period, this is not unusual. “Fnorking” seems
to have been an outgrowth of the general loosening of morals in the 20’s era
and the woman’s sufferage movements of the early part of that decade. The less
inhibited females of the era were more inclined to enter such bizarre contests.
As the fad progressed, the contests were not limited to just goldfish but
were expanded to include other specie of small animals. It is known that
contests were held involving the “fnorking” of hamsters, gerbils, lizards,
salamanders, frogs, small birds and even one contest involving chipmunks. All
of the above contests involved dead animals. The preferred method of killing
the animals was suffocation. The contests were held immediately after the
animals were killed because they were “still warm and still very pliable.”
The phenomenon seems to have disappeared after the turn of the decade.
This is possibly because of the depression era when less females were attending
colleges and also morales experienced a general regression. No known incidences
of “fnorking” have been reported until very recent times.
Recent reports have eminated from the Florida area and from Europe,
specifically at the 1991 “spring break” in Florida and one incidence in 1989 in
Denmark involving sixty college age females inserting frogs in a day long
contest. There were reports of three contests in the Miami area in 1991, two
involving insertion of goldfish and one the insertion of small toy stuffed
animals. The winner of one of the goldfish contests was able to insert twelve
fish and is reported to have recieved a cash prize in the amount of five
hundred dollars.
Interview’s of 1920’s era females involved in “fnorking” contests indicate
that no prizes were awarded in the contests, of that period. The females stated
that most entered the contests due to peer pressure. They also indicated that
the contests were held in conjunction with college fraternity initiations.
The origin of the word “fnork” is very hard to discern. All of the females
interviewed stated that “it was always called that.” One woman did offer as an
explanation that “fnork” is formed from the first letters of greek words
describing the activity. At this time I have not been able to discover the
words used, if there are any. No written descriptions of the activity have been
brought to light, although, considering the type of activity, this is not
unusual. All of the females interviewed were very reluctant to admit to being
in the contests.
Considering the recent resurgance of the “fnorking” phenomenon, it is
possible that the general lessening of sexual inhibitions in females in recent
times has allowed the fad to resurface. In this day of personal video, how soon
will some enterprising person make a record of one of these interesting
contests?

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