THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL
P U R I T Y T E S T
_______________________________________________________________________________
Version 4.0 (500)
Final Release
23-Apr-1988
_______________________________________________________________________________
Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with
going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love. Murphy’s law on
sex: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Chaste makes
waste. Virginity can be cured.

This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced Research
Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics Laboratory.
The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted
as representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the
Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be
interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed
any of the actions contained herein.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer of Liability

The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that a person
must copulate in control, and use good judgement at all times; that partners’
conditions vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather changes and
previous use; and that dirty sheets, variations in terrain and bed surfaces,
spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed obstacles, and
many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users
and customers, exist throughout the bedroom area. Personal managers
(pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and equipment are constantly in
use and may be hazardous to those not copulating in control. Impotence,
collisions, and social diseases resulting in injury can happen at any time,
even to those copulating in control with proper sexual equipment. Inherent
risks are part of the sport and may exist within your partner. As a condition
of being permitted to use the facilities of your partner, the user of this test
agrees to copulate in control and within the limits of his/her ability, and
further acknowledges and accepts these hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes
the risk of injury or loss to person or damage to property which might result
from use of the partner’s facilities.

As a further condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your
partner, the customer understands and agrees that: (1) in the event of a
transfer of use by another or anything else in the management’s opinion is
misconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or nuisance, this service may be revoked
…End of the part1. To be continued..

==================================
THE O.S.J.G.(tm)
THE OFFICIAL STRIP JOINT GUIDE(tm)
==================================

THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO GENTLEMEN’S ENTERTAINMENT

ELECTRONIC SHAREWARE EDITION

Volume 1, Number 2

THE OFFICIAL STRIP JOINT GUIDE(tm)

This edition is the abridged electronic version of THE
O.S.J.G.(tm) and contains information on over 250 clubs in the
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Somehow my brother had managed to score some dope of the kind
that I hadn’t seen around in almost 5 years. We’re talking KILL.
ER. MTV was on but the sound was off. Howard pulled out some
papers. We were sitting cross-legged, on the carpet, in front of
the tv.
“Screw that,” I said. “Grab the bong.” He did.
I filled it, but just enough for one good hit. That Wilson
Philips song ‘Hold On’ came on.
“All right,” said Karen, as I took the first hit. “Quick top
ten list.”
“Topic?” asked Howard.
“Top ten things heard at a Wilson Philips party, after Chynna
and Wendi have gone outside to make out with their boyfriends.”
I half-laughed, half-choked, and passed the bong to my
brother.
“Excellent,” I said. “Number 10–Such a pretty face.”
Karen said, “9–a great personality.”
My brother scored big with “She writes *all* the songs you
know.”
But Karen topped it with “Brian was the most talented.”
Karen did her hit and I said “She was a champion swimmer in
grade school, you know.”
“What number is that?” asked Karen, whose eyes were already
mere slits.
“Number two–,” said Howard, “Where’s Chynna. Where’s
Wendi?”
“All right,” I said. “And the number one thing overheard at
the Wilson Philips blah blah blah–” Howard drummed a little on the
carpet. “Got any blow?”
“Careful,” I said, as the bong teetered precariously from the
encouragement of my brother’s foot.
Howard was the first to say it. “I am stoned.”
“How much of this did you get?” asked Karen.
“Just an ounce. Should last for a while at this rate.”
This was clearly true.
“Mariah Carey,” said Karen, who then stuck her finger down her
throat. The ‘Emotion’ video was on. “Turn the sound up, How,” I
said.
“You don’t *like* her, do you?” asked Karen.
“Gimme a break. I just wonder if she hits those notes on her
back, too.”
“Figures.”
“Wait,” said Karen, her eyes opening suddenly. She turned the
sound down on Mariah. “I’ve got an idea. I’ve got to say it now,
because I only think of it when I’m stoned, you know?”
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Excerpt from GOOD VIBRATIONS: THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO VIBRATORS by
Joani Blank. Copyright 1989 by Joani Blank. Published by Down
There Press, P.O. Box 2086-BS, Burlingame CA 94011-2086. Available
at your favorite bookstore or by sending $8.00 (includes postage
and handling) to the publisher.

Once Upon A Time…

I walked a few times past the department store salesclerk who was
eagerly demonstrating the big blue and white massager. “On sale -
– only $19.50 today,” she said. Although I had heard about sexual
uses for electric vibrators, I couldn’t justify spending twenty
dollars just to try the massager for masturbation. So I turned my
back and asked her to hold the whirring machine to a chronically
tight spot on my right shoulder. The massager was stronger than
any I’d ever felt. The low speed produced a deep throbbing
sensation. The high speed was so fast it either tickled or hurt,
depending on how it was touching me. It hurt my shoulder so good
that I bought it without further hesitation. At the time, and for
some weeks later, I didn’t even try masturbating with it.

Up until then, the only way I had masturbated was with my hand,
occasionally using an object in my vagina at the same time. I had
inserted the handle of my electric toothbrush into my vagina,
enjoying the gentle vibrations and warmth, but it had not
occurred to me to use it on or near my clitoris. Within moments
after I held the new blue and white vibrator to my clitoris, I
experienced the most intense orgasm of my life. Although it was
all over before I knew what was happening, I saw great potential
for pleasure in my new toy.

My partner and I, being yard sale and flea market fanatics,
started to collect “antique” and just plain old vibrators and
massagers at every opportunity. After a couple of years, we had
acquired more than thirty treasures. At first, I tried
masturbating with every one and found, to my delight, that all of
them, regardless of size, shape, or intensity of vibration, gave
me orgasms. We kept them amid the jumble of their own cords and
loose attachments in a fabric suitcase under our bed.
Periodically we would haul out the suitcase, untangle a few, and
plug them in for our friends to giggle or marvel at. Some went
out on loan and never returned.

…End of the part1. To be continued..

A few people have chatted to me via private mail, asking
for advice on having sex with animals. I would like to put
down a few pointers for novices. Let’s concentrate on dogs for
this article, as they are the animal of my preference, and
also I think they are the animal most furries will readily have
access to. I will try to explain any jargon I use, but only
briefly, as I don’t wish this to be a technical discourse. If
you need clarification on terms used here, comment to me on
Alt.Sex.Bestiality or check a good ‘Encyclopaedia of Dogs’. I
am also only going to refer to animals that have not been de-
sexed (in the case of males, having their testes surgically
removed. In the case of females, having ovaries removed). I
can’t bear the thought of any animals of mine missing out on
sexual pleasure. Even so, I know in any city dog populations
are too high, and hundreds of dogs are destroyed daily. There
are good arguments for de-sexing, but a responsible owner
should be able to keep an entire animal without accidental
litters (and still keep the animal sexually satisfied!)
Also note that when I refer to dogs, I mean any breed
Labrador or larger. In my mind, anything smaller than a
Labrador isn’t really a dog. If I refer to a ‘Giant Breed’, I
am talking in the category of English Mastiff, Great Dane, St.
Bernard, Irish Wolfhound, Newfoundland, etc. These are REAL
dogs.
The first rule that leaps to my mind is this:- the
animal MUST BE CONSENTING!! If the animal is enjoying the
experience of having sex with you, the sex is so much more
fulfilling. If the animal is not enjoying it, you are
committing rape. If you have to force the animal into
anything, stop. I hope most of us would agree that we are
animal lovers, sharing sex with our animal partners as a gift
of pleasure. Any other attitude toward your animal partner
makes you a loathsome, slimy reptile, unworthy of the status of
a toad. So there.

Let’s start with bitches.
Bitches become sexually mature (depending on the size of
the breed) at around 8-18 months. The larger the breed, in
general, the later they will have their first heat (Oestrous,
the bitch becomes fertile after a 5-7 day period of menstrual
bleeding. Male dogs become insanely attracted to her scent,
and will chew/dig through anything to get at her. This lasts
for around 7 days, followed by another 5-7 days of menstrual
bleeding. After that the bitch is no longer fertile. Her next
…End of the part1. To be continued..

The next day, after work, we showered and packed our last minute
items and drove off, leaving behind all the stress and the frantic pace of
our daily lives. We took the scenic route, going through Lake Tahoe and
into Nevada before turning south towards the Grand Canyon. The first day
was just one big adventure, and outside of Tahoe, I let you get the feel of
the clumsy motor- home. Sitting up high, with the large windows made us
feel like we were on top of the world. You did well driving the motorhome,
so we could now go to some other places as we’d planned, taking turns
driving if we had to head for home later that we’d planned.

We’d planned on driving at night, when traffic would allow us not
only the best economy, but the traffic would be sparse as well. Besides, I
had my own lusty fantasies in mind too. We left the Tahoe area late the
second day, the sun setting over the Sierra’s with an orange glow. We
drove south, down a well maintained highway, meeting little traffic. You
whipped up some sandwhichs while I drove, and we talked about how quiet it
was out in the high desert of Nevada. I opened a window, letting in the
warm night air, and even at 60 mph it felt warm and gentle. I looked at
you and felt your passions begin to stir even across the r.v. You removed
your top, baring your breasts to me, and then sat in the right front seat,
caressing yourself. In the dim glow of the instruments, I saw you slide
your hand under the elastic waistband of your shorts, and begin to rub
yourself. “Talk to me.” You said, “Tell me what you want to do.”

My cock pressed upwards in my jeans, straining against the fabric.
I looked over, seeing your legs spread over the armrest of the seat, one up
against the dash. Your breasts wiggled invitingly as the r.v. found small
bumps in the road. The only car we saw that night drove past, its
headlights tossing a fast moving glare over your naked tits, letting me see
you briefly illuminated. Then you’re back in shadow, and my eyes have to
adjust for the dim light. “Talk to me. Tell me how you’re going to fuck
me.” You say.

“Hmmm. First, I’m going to pull off the road a ways, and spread a
blanket on the ground. Then, I’m going to pull you from the r.v.,
completely naked and make you kneel on all fours while I fuck you
everywhere. I want to fuck your tight pussy, then I want you to suck me
…End of the part1. To be continued..

There’s no other line of “work” as pleasurable and as
overflowing with opportunities to enjoy luxury, travel
and riches as that of the gigolo. And believe it or
not, today it is easier than ever for a man to enjoy
life as a gigolo!
To become a successful gigolo and enjoy the benefits of
this kind of life, you must develop and project the
proper way of thinking. There’s a great difference
between a “male prostitute” and a gigolo.
The male prostitute makes himself available to all
women of all ages, generally concentrating on bored,
frustrated and “exploring” housewives looking for extra
loving as well as variety to satisfy their sex needs. This
type of woman is very easy to spot, and even easier to take
to bed. It makes of a lot of, and a variety of beautiful
sex, but it’s all for free. You have to know precisely how
to cultivate these women to start, and then get them to
continue paying you for each time you “service” them — not
just the loan of a few dollars — which you never intend to
pay back — but $50 or $100 plus expenses for each tryst
you arrange with them.
The gigolo concentrates his efforts on making himself
available to widows and wives of busy businessmen who
really don’t care what their wives do, so long as they
don’t become emroiled in a public scandal. These women
range in age from about 45, on into their 80s.
So the first thing you’re going to have to do is stop
looking for ladies at or about your own age. Dress
yourself more neatly, more stylishly, and begin
“hanging around” the places these women frequent.
You’ll find very few in church! Those that you do find
in church will want to possess you, and somehow or
other steer you to the altar. You’ll find most of them
in night classes at your local college; in
self-improvement, self-awareness, and new life-style
classes; and of course, in all the better class supper
clubs and hotel type lounges.
Relative to evening college courses and
self-improvement discussion groups — these are your
easiest and most fertile “hunting grounds,” because
psychologists long ago proved that the basic reason for
adult enrollment in self-improvement programs is
directly related to a person’s need to be loved. All
you have to do is understand this basic fact, and make
yourself available to fulfill the needs of the women
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Erosian Structure & Hierarchy

Erosian Hierarchy and Erosian Structure are closely
related. Both define and examine the proposed outline of
the growth of Temple and the lesser Temples. In this text,
we will examine Hierarchy and Structure, and in an
afterword, we will look toward possible growth of the
Temple in this year. (1989)

Erosian Structure

In the beginning there was the concept for The Temple of
Eros, a structures system of beliefs created for those who
followed the concepts of guiltless sexual activity and
physical self study. From this structure, grew a need to
develop further physical structures to define internal
sets within the Erosian following. From this reasoning
came the Temple of Eros and the Lesser Temples.

The Temple is the all encompassing body of Erosians who
study, follow and practice Erosian Theory. It is headed by
the High Priest or Priestess, and takes ultimate
responsibility for ritual, ceremony, and content of
Erosian Theory. Erosian Theory supports and studies all
forms of sexuality, with the exception of those mentioned
in the Erosian Code of Conduct. The Temple of Eros seeks
to break down the barrier of sexual guilt, frustration and
segregation, and works diligently to remove the labels
placed by society on those who do not conform to the
“normals” of sexuality.

Within the Temple of Eros, there are two recognized Lesser
Temples. These are the Temple of Sappho, and the Temple
of Satyr. The Temple of Sappho is a divison exclusively
for women, and is inclusive of all styles, forms and
orientations of women’s sexuality. The Temple of Satyr is
a division exclusively for men, and is inclusive of all
styles, forms and orientations of male sexuality. These
two lesser Temples support groups within themselves, known
in the structured format as sub-temples. These Temples are
created in order to more clearly define the subjects of
study available within these bodies of learning. In each
of the lesser temples, one initial sub-temple was formed
at creation. In the Temple of Satyr is housed the Temple
of Homos, devoted to the homosexual male study. In the
…End of the part1. To be continued..

(c) Neil Bernstein 1993

One Sunday, driving Dolores’ truck back from a provisioning
trip, Pete stopped along the riverbank to watch a crew of panting
scullers labor their way against the current. Their slender craft
slipped around chunks of floating ice smoothly as a ballbearing
sliding down a greased track. Got all the time they need to do
that, he thought bitterly. Men who could go home to adoring wives
and get up the next morning to go to work.
In Lombard’s General Store he met old John buying feed for his
three geldings. The man’s belly nearly split his overalls as he
carried the sacks out to his car. Pete hid a chuckle.
“You come back for coffee now,” John bellowed.
Pete could see no reason to refuse him. He followed John’s
rusty truck up a series of gravel paths, shook hands with his
pretty wife. John eased himself into a great armchair. He bade
her serve them their coffee and an endless succession of snacks:
toast, honey, ham sandwiches, spiced drumsticks, maple candies,
pear cobbler…
When she was done serving she settled back on a kitchen stool
and nursed her baby. Pete watched her play with the suckling,
bouncing him gently on her knee. He knew, feeling the certainty
only the superstitious know, that it could not be John’s child.
John had been a carpenter for twenty years. One morning he
found the work too exerting and gave it up violently, pitching his
toolbox through the window of the house he was building. He tried
a variety of jobs after that, settling on delivering the Weekly
Argus. He sat long hours alone at the head of his kitchen table,
playing solitaire late into the night, gaining ten pounds a year.
He always left a half-finished puzzle set up in the living room.
Pete remembered the last time he’d been out to John’s house.
A selectman was giving Grandpa Goosehair some problems, badmouthing
him in town meeting. The old man wanted Pete to see if John could
dig up any incriminating tax information. John looked over
everyone’s tax forms, considered it his neighborly duty. He got so
he could do the arithmetic so quickly that everyone brought him
their crumpled forms: farmers who could only read with a certain
pair of spectacles they’d lost years and years ago, folks who could
read Latin but couldn’t be bothered with figures.
Pete’d got himself lost on nameless gravel tracks and had
arrived very late. The ex-carpenter’s wife had just finished
showering and now stood before a full-length mirror. Her hips were
swathed in fine linen, her arms left half-bare by a silk-finished
nightgown. She braided her hair and rubbed fine powder and oil
into her tremulous neck. John knelt on the parlor floor, his
…End of the part1. To be continued..

As we drove on the interstate home, I leaned against Jack and said that I
couldn’t wait to get home. “What are you going to do first?” he asked. I
allowed how I was looking forward to getting out of these clothes. “Why
wait?’ he asked as though it was the most natural thing in the world. Though
I had never done anything outside the house before, I decided to play his
little game. I reached down and unbuttoned my blouse. Jack’s eye were having
a hard time sticking to the road. I pulled my blouse out of my skirt and
removed. I leaned against Jack and could tell from his bulge that he was
having fun. The funny thing was that I was enjoying this little game too.
Jack asked, “You’re not done yet are you?” A challenge like that couldn’t
go unanswered. I reached behind my back and unfastened my bra. I lowered
it to my lap. Jack’s eye nearly bugged out when he looked over and saw my
naked breasts in the passing cars headlight. I leaned against him and he
put his hand around me and grab my right breast and started playing. By the
time we arrived home, we were both so excited that we didn’t even make it out
of the garage.

That was our first experience with exhibition. Over the next few months,
we experimented with it a few times. Jack talked me into flashing truckers my
tits a couple of times. At home, Jack bought a Polaroid camera and made me
his star model. I didn’t mind to much (if the truth be told, I usually
enjoyed and I always enjoyed the lovemaking after a session) as long as he
promised to keep the pictures private and we didn’t do anything to near to
home. I didn’t want one of our little games coming home to haunt us. I
would indulge him by wearing sexy clothes out but only if we were out of
town. Jack really enjoyed other men looking at me on these trips.

One day, he came home from a business trip and he was more intense then
usually. He told me he had found a little adult book store just off the main
interchange. He said they had peep show movies and books(he had a package
with some “swinger’s magazines” and one with amateur pictures. He also told
me they had a stripper booth. We read the magazines and Jack tried to talk me
into trading pictures with some couples in the magazines. I was unwilling and
said that as long as it was safe (like at home or out of town), I didn’t mind
playing games but to send pictures to unknown people was too much (not to
mention meet them later on). Jack pouted for a couple days but by the
weekend, he seemed ready to forget the whole thing.

He suggested a ride out of town. I knew what he wanted and figured since
I had rained on his parade earlier, that I would try to make it up to him this
weekend. I put on a pair of shorts and a halter with nothing on underneath.
Once we were out on the road, I started teasing Jack but dropping and then
retying the halter. He was getting an eyeful and I even let a trucker get a
…End of the part1. To be continued..

“Sexy eyes.”, she thought to herself as she walked to the
escalator descending to the train platform. Hearing the train doors
open, she ran quickly down the slowly moving stairway and arrived just
in time to see the doors closing and the train pulling away. “Nutz!”,
she mumbled under her breath, and moved to her accustomed queue
position, where she opened her novel.

The ill-fated mad dash to the train platform had made her warm and
she removed her long coat, dropping her book in the process. As she
bent over to pick it up, her rear end bumped against the person in
back of her, and she swiftly straightened, turning to apologize. Now
it was her turn to blush as she saw that same blonde beard and sexy
eyes she had encountered upstairs at the turnstile. She had noticed
him many times before, and had imagined he had watched her a few times
as well, although she didn’t think it was true.

She averted her eyes quickly, not knowing what his thoughts were,
but she couldn’t restrain her own. She tried to go back to her book,
but couldn’t concentrate. The stranger had stepped forward to the
side to look down the tunnel for an oncoming train, and she could see
the slight bulge in his suit pants in spite of the jacket he held over
his arm. He stepped back in place behind her, and she went back to her
story.

Soon, she felt something push gently up against her ass, which
felt much like a briefcase. “He must have made a mistake.”, she
thought, and mentally forgave him. Shifting from one foot to the
other, she couldn’t help fantasizing about this stranger behind her.
She had noticed he was about her age, of average height and weight;
the kind of teddy bear she would love to hold and suckle. His face
was that average-guy good looking, with strong cheekbones (what she
could see beneath his beard), and smiling blue eyes.

“Well, what am I doing day-dreaming about him?’, she asked
herself. “After all, he probably wouldn’t even LOOK at me.” She
unobtrusively tugged at her slightly snug blouse, smoothing it over
her breasts, and rounded hips.

She had been uncomfortable all day, noticing how this blouse
accentuated her large breasts, and how the new brassier she was
wearing held them up and allowed them to bounce MUCH to much when she
walked.
…End of the part1. To be continued..

ABOUT RIVER DIPPERS
SACRAMENTO FREE BEACH ORGANIZATION
Affiliated with The Naturist Society

River Dippers, started in 1979, is a non-profit organization
dedicated to sharing information about ‘free beaches’ (those places
where people are free to wear as much or as little as they please)
located in central and northern California. River Dippers also host a
variety of social events for our members.

River Dippers welcome all who share our open enjoyment of sun,
breeze, water, and good people in natural, outdoor settings,
unbothered by clothing. We are affiliated with the national free
beach organization, The Naturist Society.

OUR ACTIVITIES

We participate in a wide variety of activities throughout the
year; Seasonal Parties and Potlucks, Monthly Meetings, Skinny-Skiing,
National Nude Weekend, National Naturist Association Gatherings, Nude
Hiking and Backpacking, Canuding, Nude Cruises (through River Dippers
Cruises), Nude Christmas Caroling, Visits to Naturist Clubs and
Resorts, Body Painting, and more. We also hold informal monthly
meetings to discuss and plan upcoming events

SKINNY-DIPPING GUIDESHEETS

We have a five-page set of guidesheets available. Some of the
best skinny-dipping streams, rivers, and lakes in central and northern
California are shown. Places where skinny-dipping and nude sunbathing
are locally accepted and, indeed, the preferred way to visit nature
(in the outfit she issued you). Just send $2 in a self-addressed
stamped envelope (SASE) to us, regardless of whether you order our
newsletter or not.

OUR NEWSLETTER

Our quarterly newsletter keeps free beachers informed on
skinny-dipping locations and changes, on current activities in the
nude recreation movement (national, state, and local), and on
occasions when fellow River Dippers may wish to share a beach or other
activities together. Our intent is to keep organization and formality
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Working from the recollections of depraved minds and an antiquated
version of the test, soon was created the 576 point test.
A mere five hundred seventy six? This would not do!
So over the months was cobbled together the Ultimate Purity
Test – field tested and guarenteed to be nosier that your
parents, more invasive than the census, and containing something
to offend everybody.

And for a brief time only, we’re including an answer form so that
you can remember where in the test you were, or show to a friend.

Enjoy:
———————————————-

Perverts Anonymous Qualification Exam
Ver 2.2.75 12:38:34.88 14.IIII.90

On the whole, this is biased for experience and, hence, age. If
you’re still too young to qualify, well, these things take time.
Remember: the conjugation is “I am erotic, You are kinky, They are perverts”
Definitions: (for the innocent, naive, or too busy)
Necking: the kissing or stroking of a persons head or neck, the
stroking of arms hands or back.
Petting: the above plus the caressing or fondling of other portions
of anatomy; through or underneath clothing.
Sexual activity: all of the above, plus what your puerile imagination
dreams up.
Posslq : “person of the opposite sex sharing living quarters.”
Bureaucrat for live-in lover.
Most of all, this is entertainment. Have as much fun in the taking
as was had in the making.
And yes, technicalities count.
————————————————————————-
I Good Clean, ‘Wholesome’ Activities
have you:
1.hugged somebody?
2.kissed a friend or stranger as a friendly gesture?
3.kissed a friend or stranger as an unfriendly gesture?
4.held hands with someone?
5.been on a date?
6.been on a date past one a.m.?
7.stood someone up?
8.dated someone on a regular basis?
9.slam danced?
…End of the part1. To be continued..

================================================================================

THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL
P U R I T Y T E S T

_______________________________________________________________________________

Version 5.01 (1)
Final Release
11-September-1989
_______________________________________________________________________________
Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with
going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love. Murphy’s law on
sex: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Chaste makes
waste. Virginity can be cured.

This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced Research
Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics Laboratory.
The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted
as representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the
Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be
interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed
any of the actions contained herein.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer of Liability

The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that a person
must copulate in control, and use good judgement at all times; that partners’
conditions vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather changes and
previous use; and that dirty sheets, variations in terrain and bed surfaces,
spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed obstacles, and
many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users
and customers, exist throughout the bedroom area. Personal managers
(pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and equipment are constantly in
use and may be hazardous to those not copulating in control. Impotence,
collisions, and social diseases resulting in injury can happen at any time,
even to those copulating in control with proper sexual equipment. Inherent
risks are part of the sport and may exist within your partner. As a condition
of being permitted to use the facilities of your partner, the user of this test
agrees to copulate in control and within the limits of his/her ability, and
further acknowledges and accepts these hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes
the risk of injury or loss to person or damage to property which might result
from use of the partner’s facilities.

…End of the part1. To be continued..

Several times her hand drifted to his right thigh to punctuate a remark or
just to indicate her readiness for their planned outing. How often he’d
teased and cajoled her over the past several weeks both in messages and by
phone. Words like ’star- crossed’ and ‘destiny’ had leaped, rather than crept
into their many conversations, and she felt it to be true. They couldn’t
avoid being together, at least briefly. There was no sense of needing to be
hasty in their actions, just a feeling of fate needing to be yielded to.

They were intrigued by each other in ways neither had experienced in a long
time. Their conversations were sprinkled with puns and innuendos and much
laughter. He frequently accused her of littering his office floor with
innuendos which she countered by saying the cleaning staff should take care of
them adequately.

There was both a level of comfort and the excitement of the unknown which
surrounded them today. They had slept together only once in a somewhat
sterile hotel room, the previous night. But the experience was totally
fulfilling for each of them. They had performed as lovers but also played in
bed like puppies; exploring and frolicking joyfully.

She stretched in the passenger seat with a cat-like abandon and he again
admired the curve of her breast as it pushed the knit top to new contours.
Even dressed in jeans and hiking boots she had a stately quality mixed with
the enthusiasm of a child. What an enigma she was!

And had he been able to read her thoughts he would have realized she felt much
the same way about him. Watching his hands on the steering wheel she
reflected back to the pleasurable way he had touched her body and memorized
the feel of her skin. Looking at his neatly trimmed beard reminded her of the
way it tickled her thighs as he kissed his way up her legs and beyond. He had
certainly mastered her quickly, knowing just where and when to apply butterfly
kisses to increase her already elevated level of desire for him.

Their sexual union began under the guise of being a backrub of course. How
often is that technique used the world over? But it was a pretense they were
content to play out.

Their choice to be together today was also a ruse. Each acknowledged it was a
spontaneous decision. But that didn’t explain why he’d packed the
appropriately needed items before leaving his home in Massachusetts, nor why
…End of the part1. To be continued..

IDEAS FOR STORIES

I enjoy writing Adult stories. My tastes in stories tend to the
bizarre and, as of this posting, I have written eleven of them,
including one novella-length story. Four of them have already been
uploaded to bulletin boards, the remaining seven will eventually be
uploaded and shared after proofreading and minor editing.
Below are outlines for six new stories I have not yet written. As
I get an idea I like to outline it so that it begins to take
substance before it is lost and becomes just another weird fantasy.
I plan to eventually write full stories for all of the concepts
outlined below, however, I offer them as ideas to any other writers
who care to use them. This means that there may be several stories
written on the same premise by several authors. I don’t think this
is bad and may even be quite interesting! Every writer has his or
her own style, along with his or her own `hot’ buttons. Feel free
to change or modify some of the situations, or even the ending, to
suit your own style.
If you do begin to write a story using one of these premises,
please upload a short text file called IDCOM1, IDCOM2, etc. and let
us know which story line you are working on. This will allow others
to decide to work on a different story line, or possibly even the
same one. A kind of contest could develop to see who can write the
most erotic story given the same premise.

Dr. Phil
9/16/92

(note: leave any messages to MISTER PHIL)
—————————————————————

1) FOR THE PLEASURE OF THE COURT

The scene is Medieval Europe. Young Lady Madeleine is the ward of
her uncle who is a Duke and her legal guardian. She is obnoxious at
court. She has created many enemies, especially the Queen.
While travelling, her uncle is ambushed by robbers and killed.
When news reaches the castle several people see it as an
opportunity to discredit Madeleine. The Queen falsifies documents
to show that the young Lady’s uncle was a traitor and a thief. All
of his lands are forfeit and poor Madeleine is left penniless. She
is made a ward of the castle and forced to become a serving maid.
The Queen exhults in humiliating her at the castle and gleefully
punishes her for any complaints from the other Ladies. Her former
rivals at court take pleasure in tormenting her. Her former suitors
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Excerpt from GOOD VIBRATIONS: THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO VIBRATORS by
Joani Blank. Copyright 1989 by Joani Blank. Published by Down
There Press, P.O. Box 2086-BS, Burlingame CA 94011-2086. Available
at your favorite bookstore or by sending $8.00 (includes postage
and handling) to the publisher.

Once Upon A Time…

I walked a few times past the department store salesclerk who was
eagerly demonstrating the big blue and white massager. “On sale -
– only $19.50 today,” she said. Although I had heard about sexual
uses for electric vibrators, I couldn’t justify spending twenty
dollars just to try the massager for masturbation. So I turned my
back and asked her to hold the whirring machine to a chronically
tight spot on my right shoulder. The massager was stronger than
any I’d ever felt. The low speed produced a deep throbbing
sensation. The high speed was so fast it either tickled or hurt,
depending on how it was touching me. It hurt my shoulder so good
that I bought it without further hesitation. At the time, and for
some weeks later, I didn’t even try masturbating with it.

Up until then, the only way I had masturbated was with my hand,
occasionally using an object in my vagina at the same time. I had
inserted the handle of my electric toothbrush into my vagina,
enjoying the gentle vibrations and warmth, but it had not
occurred to me to use it on or near my clitoris. Within moments
after I held the new blue and white vibrator to my clitoris, I
experienced the most intense orgasm of my life. Although it was
all over before I knew what was happening, I saw great potential
for pleasure in my new toy.

My partner and I, being yard sale and flea market fanatics,
started to collect “antique” and just plain old vibrators and
massagers at every opportunity. After a couple of years, we had
acquired more than thirty treasures. At first, I tried
masturbating with every one and found, to my delight, that all of
them, regardless of size, shape, or intensity of vibration, gave
me orgasms. We kept them amid the jumble of their own cords and
loose attachments in a fabric suitcase under our bed.
Periodically we would haul out the suitcase, untangle a few, and
plug them in for our friends to giggle or marvel at. Some went
out on loan and never returned.

…End of the part1. To be continued..

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the
English language today is the word “Fuck”. It is one magical word which
just by it’s sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate, and love. Fuck, like
most words in the English language, takes it’s name from another language,
the German word “Friklon” which means “WHOOPEE”.

In language, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. It can
be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive
(Mary was fucked by John), or as a passive verb (Mary doesn’t really give
a fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fuckin’ beautiful). As
you can see, there are not too many words with the versatility of “Fuck”.

Besides it’s sexual connections, this lovely word can be used to
describe many situations as follows:

Fraud…………….I got fucked by my insurance agents
Trouble………………………I guess I’m fucked now
Dismay………………………………..Oh! Fuck it
Agression…………………………………Fuck You
Passive……………………………………Fuck me
Confusion…………………………….What the fuck
Difficulty……I don’t understand this fucking business
Despair……………………………….Fucked again
Philosophical………………………Who gives a fuck
Incompetence…………………………He’s fucked up
Laziness……………………………He’s a fuck off
Displeasure………What the fuck’s going on around here
Rebellion……………………………Fuck the world

It can be used in descriptive anatomy: He’s really a fucking ass-hole.
It can be used to tell time: It’s fucking’ Five-thirty.
It can be used in business: How did I get this fucking job?
It can be used as a prediction: Oh well, I’ll be fucked.
It can be maternal: Mother-fucker!
It can be nautical: Fuck the Admiral!
It can be political: Fuck the President!
It can open the door to wonderful relationships: Lets fuck, baby.
It can be used to enhance the meaning of a word: Fuckin’ beautiful.

The mind fairly bogies at the many creative forms for this most
functional word. How can anyone be offended when you say “Fuck”? Use it
in your daily speech. It adds to your prestige.

-Tell someone today, “FUCK YOU”
–

About 88% of women studied experienced sexual fantasies, according to a report
published in ‘The Journal of Sex Research’. Researchers determined that the
subject of the most frequently experienced fantasy was involvment in an
extramarital affair (41%). Other fantasy subjects reported reported by the
women studied included:

Previous sexual experiences, other than the first (39%).
Different sexual positions (38%).
Current sex partners (36%).
Sex in rooms other than the bedroom (35%).
New sex partners (30%).
Sex on a carpeted floor (28%).
Sex in a motel (27%).
Pretending to be with a former lover (27%).
Reliving the first sexual experience (26%).
Sex on a beach (26%).
Having multiple orgasms (25%).
Engaging in oral sex (25%).
Being Sexually uninhibited (25%).

Some other FACTS on a percetage scale:

75% of Americans say good sex is ‘very important’ to a marriage.
25% of American married couples say they argue about sex or adultery.

16% of American men earning less than $5,000 annually say they cheat on their
wives.
70% of American men earning more than $70,000 annually say they cheat on their
wives.

47% of American men say they enjoy sex more than money.
26% of American women say they enjoy sex more than money.

Erosian Theory and Practice
David P. Thomas

Introduction

It is my purpose to create a text on the values and
practices of Erosian Practice, a study and method of life.
The term Erosian is coined from the Greek god Eros, who
was the male deity worship for sexual prowess. It is also
where modern society has coined such words as erotica and
erotic. I am the sole creator of Erosian Theory, and I
encourage others to study and add to my works. If you have
any comments, additions or questions I can be reached via
E-Mail on the Tampa based bulletin board, The Dojo,
286-4297. Leave E-Mail to David Thomas.

Many people will say when they initially study this text
that it is foul, profane, obscene, dirty, pornographic and
much worse. If you feel this way then this study is not
for you. Please feel no offense, and merely discard your
copy.

Definitions and Guidelines

Erosian Theory was created by myself in order to
categorize, define, and dignify sexual practice. Erosian
Theory can coincide well with standard love/relationship
practice. Erosian Theory is not a swing/swap club, nor is
it designed to be a matchmaking service. All of these
organizations are supported by Erosian Theory, however,
Erosian Theory is a way of thinking, a philosophy, not a
club.

Erosian Theory came into being at the time I recognized a
feeling of comfort involved in my own sexuality. Most
adults will feel to a certain degree comfortable with
standard practice sexuality, including but not limited to
hetro/hetro and homo/homo sexuality. However, it is well
documented that for most individuals to recognize comfort,
they must form meaningful relationships which extend into
the realm of love, commitment, family, ect. Those who
avoid such commitment often lack the required or desired
sexual contact. With Erosian Practice however, we justify
and validate the need and right for sex gratis sexis or to
coin an art term, sex for sex’s sake!
…End of the part1. To be continued..

_________________________________________________________________________
| |
| Chinese Words We All Need to Know. |
__________________________________________________________________________|
| |
| Ga Fuck |
| Lin Your |
| Yah Mother |
| Wuh I, me |
| I Love |
| Nee You |
| Papa Father |
| Ta He, She |
| More More |
| Hie a dore More than anything |
| Hando Very much |
| Da Big |
| Me Doesn’t have |
| La er A dick |
| Jeba Pussy |
| Malee Beautiful |
| Shaw Think |
| Nio meo Do you have |
| gice Them |
| Tonesinglien Gay |
| Su Are |
| Nuhie Girl |
| Cawn See |
| Shaw Want |
| Nee numoo num? Will you? |
| La Oh! |
| Er 2 |
| Gun (Name) choo chee Go out with |
| Nee cub cuy? Can you? |
| Way Hello |
| Nee how ma? How are you? |
| Sheen chee ee Monday |
| Sing she ooh(Wansa) Friday (Night) |
| Jeenwhy Tonite |
| See Yes |
| Boo No |
| Nee she wah say? Who do you like? |
| Say? Who? |
| Chingtien Today |
| Chingtien nee how ma? How are you today? |
| Jeenee Spurm |
| Eenway Because |
| Tso Ugly |
| Nee hun tso You are very ugly |
| Nee she whine wu ma? Do you like me? |
| Wa sa ma? Why? |
| Nahnhie Boy |
| Nee su hun malee Nuhie You are very beautiful girl |
| Wa she wa ni tsie tsa I wish you were here |
| Bejuay Shut up |
| Lien Face |
| Wa shu chee nee I miss you |
| Tsa tsi su bu? What is this? |
| Wa jawngway I will |
| Nee yo eegu hun tsa da lawer You got a very, dirty, big, dick |
| Ni she needa jeba. You are a big pussy. |
| Ga ne ma jeba. Fuch your mothers pussy. |
| Chu ga lousi Go fuck the teacher |
| Ni si si jay san juay zo der lern You are the ugliest dick in the world.|
|_________________________________________________________________________|

–

1. Honey drips slowly from the edge of the jar. Emma takes the knife and
catches the falling stream, feeding it back into the jar’s mouth. I have
watched her do this, not this exact thing, but this sort of thing, for almost
an hour now. Either the honey falling, or the wind through the screen door
blowing papers onto the floor, or else the newspaper catches when she tries
to fold it back on itself. She fascinates me, in a humiliating sort of way.
I could watch her for another hour, unseen.

2. She gets up now.
From my bedroom window, I can’t quite see her face when she stands up,
and just like on the tabloid shows where they replace the faces with a
featureless blue disk, I expect her or her body to betray some terrible
secret. Maybe she suffers from scoliosis, or psoriasis, or possibly some
horribly disfiguring congenital defect that now and then allows her navel
to grow as large as a football.
I wait, watching for the telltale swelling in her abdomen. Surprisingly,
it never happens. No, her body remains perfect, just like yesterday.

3. “Where’s my Pepsi!?!” she cries to no one in particular, staring into
her refrigerator. “All I wanted was a Pepsi \ldots” Well, I have to
laugh at that. Just what I’d thought about all day. But when I looked in
the cabinet, all I had was syrup of ipecac. Revolting, but hardly sufficient
for the job.

4. She walks over to the sliding glass door, opens it just wide enough to
slip her slim body through, then closes it. I can see her dress now, a sort
of twopiece summer outfit, leaving her midriff bare. God, I want that
midriff. She can have the rest of her body, but I’ll take this perfect,
smooth—
Was that—? No, she just took a deep breath, that’s all.

5. She lies down on the lawn chair, reclining nearly all the way back, with
a Pepsi in her hand (she found one after all). Emma, Emma, Emma. I repeat
her name like Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, whose name I see in front of me as the
answer to a Trivial Pursuit question. I shake my head, annoyed, and the
mantra returns. You may have the alpha and the omega, but in between, there
always lives Emma, sweet Emma, a pretty little Greek figure in the middle of
all that Roman nonsense.
Still wondering? I only took Greek to decipher the sorority house names.
Imagine my disappointment when all the letter combinations appeared random,
rather than producing lurid, lascivious names, such as \ldots But I digress.

6. Emma sucks Pepsi through a straw. Sounds vaguely like some sort of
childhood insult. Your mother rides a vacuum cleaner. Your father has a
nose like a rubber hose. Emma seems mostly unconcerned about this.

7. She puts down the empty can on the cement patio with a hollow clank,
and closes her eyes. They do not like the sun, after all. I scratch my
legs.
I want to fall on her. Fall on her, like a Georgian flower, unfolding,
pressing petal to petal, surrounded only by the echoing sound of soft
waterfilled fibers. In my mind’s eye, the Pepsi takes on ambrosial
proportions, linking me with a divine nature. I see all the things I should
not ever see: every unicorn that ever ran, my hands held by someone on the
street, bells I never heard ring, and besides, the reverent smile of a little
boy and a blue blue sky.

8. I shake off my reverie to find her gone. I let out a hmph. The orchid
has fallen into the pond to meet its reflection with open arms, only to see it
disappear as it sinks slowly beneath the water. Shh! and goodbye.

(c) 26 Apr 1993

—