Archive for the ‘french cum’ Category

Archive-name Miscellpure-001501

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

Archive-title: Purity Test – 1 Question




Version 5.01 (1)
Final Release
Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with
going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love. Murphy’s law on
sex: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Chaste makes
waste. Virginity can be cured.

This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced Research
Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics Laboratory.
The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted
as representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the
Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be
interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed
any of the actions contained herein.

Disclaimer of Liability

The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that a person
must copulate in control, and use good judgement at all times; that partners’
conditions vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather changes and
previous use; and that dirty sheets, variations in terrain and bed surfaces,
spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed obstacles, and
many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users
and customers, exist throughout the bedroom area. Personal managers
(pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and equipment are constantly in
use and may be hazardous to those not copulating in control. Impotence,
collisions, and social diseases resulting in injury can happen at any time,
even to those copulating in control with proper sexual equipment. Inherent
risks are part of the sport and may exist within your partner. As a condition
of being permitted to use the facilities of your partner, the user of this test
agrees to copulate in control and within the limits of his/her ability, and
further acknowledges and accepts these hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes
the risk of injury or loss to person or damage to property which might result
from use of the partner’s facilities.

…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellperfhandtxt

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

Archive-author: Brooks Peters
Archive-title: How to Give the Perfect Hand Job

Sex means more than intercourse; exploring all the different
variations enhances your sex life and keeps it from getting
stale. Masturbating your partner can be very exciting for both
of you. So, read on and learn how to let your fingers do the

Mutual masturbation can be a thrilling experience, but first, we
need to study the basics of manual technique. Most men feel
women aren’t skilled at handling penises. Their grips are too
limp, lacking conviction and exuberance. They seem afraid to
apply pressure, yet often pull or tug at inappropriate moments,
disrupting the rhythm. They also have a tendency to scratch.
Clearly, we all need to be more knowledgeable about the proper
methods of mutual masturbation. Either you or your partner can
perform the following exercises. But it is written with an
experienced woman in mind.

The first concern is always a matter of size. Is it large or
small? Somewhere in between? No issue has ever received greater
attention than the size of a man’s penis. Man’s obsession with
cock size is probably a mental vestige of his primitive primate
past, but as far as human sexuality is concerned, it’s a waste of
time. A large penis doesn’t have any effect on a woman’s physi-
cal enjoyment unless she has a deep-seated psychological attach-
ment to well-endowed men.

How about its shape? Is it curved like a boomerang or is it
straight like an arrow? Does your fist fit around the spongy
mass of the shaft? Does your hand completely engulf it? This is
good because you can squeeze it all at once. But don’t be an
organ grinder. Be gentle, yet firm. If the penis has an unusual
girth, your hand may not completely encircle it. In such cases,
try both hands to insure you don’t miss any of the tender areas
while stroking.

Explore every square inch of his genital surface area. A man
loves to have his penis worshiped, played with, tickled, fondled,
massaged. Let him know that you are not afraid, ashamed or

Don’t start stroking or jerking quite yet. Just feel the full-
ness of it all. Let your fingers run from the balls to the top
of the cock head, swirl around there, then slide back down the
other half and end back down at the balls. The movements should
be swift and smooth, without bumping or stalling.
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellkegeltxt

Friday, October 16th, 2009

Archive-title: Kegal Exercises

Maybe it sounds too good to be true, but there’s now a simple,
foolproof way for men to boost their partners’ and their own
pleasure during lovemaking. And it doesn’t rely on aphrodisiacs or
drugs. Instead, it involves doing a set of easy to learn
pelvic-muscle exercises called Kegels (after Arnold Kegel, M.D.,
the gynecologist who developed them over 40 years ago). Women have
been practicing these moves for years to intensify their orgasms
and increase their partners’ stimulation. Now, sex therapists and
researchers have discovered that both partners can benefit sexually
when men do Kegels, too.

Kegel exercises both strengthen and tone the pubococcygeal (PC)
muscle-which runs from front to back in men’s and women’s
pelvises–as well as the surrounding pelvic muscles. The PC muscle
is what helps bring a man or woman to climax, and, along with other
pelvic muscles, it also controls urination.

In his recent book, “The New Male Sexuality (Bantam Books,
1992), psychologist Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., claims that many of
his male patients who practiced pelvic-muscle contractions over
time reported increased sexual sensation and more intense orgasms.
That’s not all. Over the past 20 years, William Hartman, Ph.D., and
Marilyn Fithian, Ph.D., co-directors of the Center for Marital and
Sexual Studies in Long Beach, California, have prescribed Kegel
exercises to more than 1,300 male patients who were troubled by
erection problems. Most of the men who did the exercises as
prescribed reported firmer erections than before.

What’s more, nearly 200 of Dr. Hartman and Dr. Fithian’s male
patients who practiced Kegels learned to delay ejaculation,
enabling them to prolong sex to their own and their partner’s
satisfaction. And most surprising, 10 percent of these men were
eventually able to have multiple orgasms–that is, two or more
climaxes during a single act of intercourse before ejaculating.
(Orgasm and ejaculation don’t always occur simultaneously in men.)

With so many sexual benefits, Kegels are the perfect
“sexercises” for men as well as women to master. Besides helping to
create the physical conditions that enhance lovemaking, the
exercises can spice up sex in another way as well. “Partners can
take turns tightening their pelvic muscles during intercourse,”
explains Dr. Hartman. “Each will feel the other’s muscle contrac-
tions, which adds to the excitement.”

For a man who wants to learn how to perform Kegels, the first
step is locating the PC muscle. Here’s how: Some time when he has
the urge to urinate, he should sit on the toilet with his legs
spread, start to urinate, then try to stop the flow. (The PC muscle
is the one he squeezes to do this.) After restarting the flow, he
can practice stopping and restarting the stream of urine. It may
take several attempts to actually isolate the PC muscle–the
buttocks muscles have a tendency to kick in if the legs aren’t kept
When a man has familiarized himself with the sensation of
contracting the PC muscle, he’s ready to practice holding the
contractions. He should first try holding a contraction for several
seconds three or four times a day. Over the next few weeks, as he
continues doing Kegels, he can gradually increase the time of the
contraction until he is holding it for 10 to 15 seconds. Next, he
should alternate these Kegel holds with a series of short, quick
contractions. Dr. Hartman recommends that men gradually work up to
a daily routine of 100 quick PC contractions and five holds. (Women
who want to learn how to do Kegels should follow these same steps,
but they only need to do the long holds for five seconds; men,
however, need the 10- to 15-second hold for delaying ejaculation.)

After a few months of diligent practice, a man should be ready
to try using the Kegel hold during intercourse to delay ejacula-
tion. But first he must familiarize himself with the sensation
known as ejaculatory inevitability–the point at which he can no
longer hold back an ejaculation. He will feel an uncontrollable
urge to ejaculate as his prostate gland and seminal vesicles
contract. Once a man has developed an awareness of this sensation,
he can then learn to produce a PC contraction before he reaches
that point of no return. (Another option is for a man to try
practicing this technique on his own while masturbating.)

Most men can do Kegels anywhere, since they’re seldom aroused
by the exercises; women may want to practice Kegels in private
since for them, the increased blood flow to the pelvic region is
more likely to spark arousal. Continued over a lifetime, the
exercises can help men (and women) head off urinary incontinence
later in life. That plus greater arousal, enhanced orgasms and
longer-lasting sex make these some of the simplest, most beneficial
exercises a man or woman can do.

Grand Canyon Adventure

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

We had finished loading the rented motorhome for our trip, and
settled back to relax before going to bed. I pulled you close to me and
kissed you, tasting the perspiration on your lips. We were both hot and
sweaty from hauling out and checking all of our camping gear, running in
and out of the house and doing last minute arguing over whether or not we
needed this item or that. Now, crawling into bed beside you, I was too
tired to start something that I couldn’t finish. I looked forward to this
trip, cuddling up behind your naked form, and wrapping my arm around your
chest to draw you even closer.

The next day, after work, we showered and packed our last minute
items and drove off, leaving behind all the stress and the frantic pace of
our daily lives. We took the scenic route, going through Lake Tahoe and
into Nevada before turning south towards the Grand Canyon. The first day
was just one big adventure, and outside of Tahoe, I let you get the feel of
the clumsy motor- home. Sitting up high, with the large windows made us
feel like we were on top of the world. You did well driving the motorhome,
so we could now go to some other places as we’d planned, taking turns
driving if we had to head for home later that we’d planned.

We’d planned on driving at night, when traffic would allow us not
only the best economy, but the traffic would be sparse as well. Besides, I
had my own lusty fantasies in mind too. We left the Tahoe area late the
second day, the sun setting over the Sierra’s with an orange glow. We
drove south, down a well maintained highway, meeting little traffic. You
whipped up some sandwhichs while I drove, and we talked about how quiet it
was out in the high desert of Nevada. I opened a window, letting in the
warm night air, and even at 60 mph it felt warm and gentle. I looked at
you and felt your passions begin to stir even across the r.v. You removed
your top, baring your breasts to me, and then sat in the right front seat,
caressing yourself. In the dim glow of the instruments, I saw you slide
your hand under the elastic waistband of your shorts, and begin to rub
yourself. “Talk to me.” You said, “Tell me what you want to do.”

My cock pressed upwards in my jeans, straining against the fabric.
I looked over, seeing your legs spread over the armrest of the seat, one up
against the dash. Your breasts wiggled invitingly as the r.v. found small
bumps in the road. The only car we saw that night drove past, its
headlights tossing a fast moving glare over your naked tits, letting me see
you briefly illuminated. Then you’re back in shadow, and my eyes have to
adjust for the dim light. “Talk to me. Tell me how you’re going to fuck
me.” You say.

“Hmmm. First, I’m going to pull off the road a ways, and spread a
blanket on the ground. Then, I’m going to pull you from the r.v.,
completely naked and make you kneel on all fours while I fuck you
everywhere. I want to fuck your tight pussy, then I want you to suck me
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellerosia00txt

Monday, July 6th, 2009

Archive-author: David P. Thomas
Archive-title: Erosian Theory and Practice – Contents

The Temple of Eros

Erosian Handbook and Lifestyle Guide

April 1989

Table of Contents

1. Erosian Theory and Practice

A. Introduction
B. Definitions and Guidelines

2. Erosian Ritual

A. Disclaimer & Notes
B. Foreward…Erosian Rituals
C. The Induction Ritual
a. The Ritual
b. Appendix A – Inductee Preparation
c. Appendix B – Attendant Preparation
d. Appendix C – Temple Preparation
e. Appendix D – Ceremony of The Fluids

D. The Initiation Ritual

E. The Succession Guidelines

3. Erosian Structure and Hierarchy

A. Erosian Structure
B. Erosian Hierarchy

4. Erosian Codes and Guidelines

A. Erosian Code of Conduct
B. Erosian Code of Practice
C. Sexual Practices and Guidelines

5. Erosian Theory Development & Notes
A. Questions and Answers about ETAP
B. Call to Fellow Erosians
C. Erosian Doctrine #1 (Communications)
D. Treatise of The Physical Self
E. Notes & Misc. Information


Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

It is a sunny warm day, a perfect day for a bike ride. The sun is just coming
up, the sky is a wonderful golden blue color, and the birds are singing. I
hear a motorcycle pull up in front, and I open the door to find you standing
there, smiling, arms out for a hug. We stand hugging and kissing for a couple
of minutes, and then reluctently pull apart. You notice that I am wearing
leather pants and a leather halter sort-of top, and comment “Going leather on
me huh?”. I smile and tell you that the pants were especially made for me and
have a special feature that I will show you, later.

We get on the bike and go off to breakfast where you ask me what sort of
special feature my pants have. I smile, and tell you that I will show you when
we get to the parking lot. We quickly finish breakfast, and go to the bike. I
tell you to stand beside the bike while I climb on so you can see the special
feature of my pants. As I straddle the bike, you can see that the pants have
no crotch to speak of and that my cunt is completely visable to you. You also
notice that I have shaved all my hair off and you comment about that.

“That way I have nothing at all between me and the bike and I get all those
wonderful vibrations”. You reach over to run one finger along my cunt and I
sigh, wanting more, yet knowing that we are in a public place. “You know, you
can reach back at the stop lights to touch me” I whisper “and just wait until
you see what the back of this top looks like…….”

You climb on the bike, and we take off. At the next couple of stop lights, you
reach back to touch my cunt, but it is a difficult to keep the bike upright
with just one hand when I am squirming around. At the next light, I reach down
with my gloved hand and put a finger into my pussy and then place that finger
into your mouth. The light changes and I hear you moan “Let’s find somewhere
quiet so we can be alone”.

Up into the mountains we go, away from all the people, into the trees, the
warmth. We spot a small dirt road that leads into the trees, away from the
main road, and decide to try it. The ride is bumpy for a few yards, and then
smooths out and twists around into the trees to a clearing by a brook. We get
off the bike, you spread a blanket on the ground, and we sit down. “Now show
me this top”. I unzipper my jacket and you realize that the top I am wearing
looks like it is held on by magic. As I remove the jacket you can see that it
is just a piece of soft glove leather in front with a couple of pieces of
leather thong holding it on in back….one piece around my neck and another
piece across my upper back under my arms. The lower bottom of the front isn’t
really held down and gets blown gently by the breeze.

“This outfit, you look so good in it, and it looks so accessable too”.

I smile, “I have been waiting so long to be with you again, that anything else
I thought about wearing just didn’t seem right” You lift up the top and start
carressing my breasts while you lay me down with your kisses. Your thigh is
between my legs, brushing against my cunt. My hands start wandering along your
back, on your ass, around your hips. You start kissing and licking your way
down my neck, under the top, to my nipples. I moan as you take each on into
your mouth to suck on it. I am rubbing my cunt on your leg, “More” I whisper
“Please, more”.

You move down my stomach, your mouth following your hands, you spread open my
legs to reveal my cunt to your tongue and fingers. The combination of my
juices and the leather smells wonderful and it makes you even hotter. You
start licking my cunt slowly putting a gloved finger in my pussy. I push
againist your face, wanting still more. The faster I push, the harder you lick
and the further you put your finger in me. In my head I feel like a thousand
fireworks are going off as I cum. You stop licking me and move up so I can
reach your pants. I sit up slightly, undo your belt and remove your pants.
Your cocks wants out so bad, it looks like it is going to burst through your
underwear. Rubbing your cock through your shorts, I kneel beside you, kiss you
on the mouth, and begin to lick your neck, your ears (love your ears, your very
sensitive ears) down your chest as I unbutton your shirt, -and then removing
your shorts, to your cock. Ah, the wonderful taste of your cock as it enters
my mouth for the first time. Licking up and down the shaft, taking the head in
my mouth licking around the head, then putting all of it into my mouth still
licking it. My hands fondle your balls and your ass.

Your hands are on my head, stroking my hair. I want your cock in my pussy. I
start licking my way up your chest, still fondleing your cock and balls. When
I get to your ears, I whisper “Put your cock into me now, I want to feel it
inside of me”. Pushing me onto my back, you slowly enter me. You feel my
leather pants around your thighs, the almost satin feeling of them, and then
the feeling of being inside of me, the moist, tight, warmth. We start moving
together, slowly at first, but we can’t wait any longer. Faster, harder we
move, your mouth on my tits, sucking them making me hotter and wetter. You
feel me starting to cum, and push further into me. Screaming we both cum
feeling like it will never end, not wanting it to end. Finally we lie quietly,
in each others arms. We pull the blanket over us and fall into a quiet sleep.

Archive-name Miscellvignettetxt

Tuesday, February 24th, 2009

Archive-author: Mark O. Zorro
Archive-title: Some Vignettes

Some Vignettes – Dedicated to My Lovers
(From Fantasy and From Real Life)

Vignette: “At Work”

Yes, I can see you now at the keyboard, the lights are low. The clicking of
the keys plays a sensuous melody of intimate romance and desire. I feel you
breathing harder, your heart beating in anticipation of your lovers’ caresses.
Your warmth begins to fill the room – everything seems to be on fire now.
Your skin, your breasts are strangely sensitive and ache for a soft touch, a
caress. Your mind swims in anticipation of your lover – your friend… you
imagine him coming up behind you, gently kissing you behind your ear, on your
neck. He turns you around on the chair, and slowly unbuttons your shirt.
First the top button, then the next, and the next…until your flushed
cleavage is fully exposed to him. As in the Song of Solomon, you pull his
head down between the two fawns that are your breasts, and beg him to kiss
you there. Your passion is beyond control – it is the point of no return,
and you welcome the feeling of totally yielding to this man, the man in your

Vignette: “Beautiful Woman”

“What a beautiful woman she is”, I thought to myself, as I lightly stroked
her hair. Her eyes, normally a beautiful blue, are now very black and very
open, revealing to me her innermost soul. Through these eyes, I could see
her begging me to take her now to the ultimate place of pleasure and desire.
Her lips, now flushed with hungry expectation, invite me to ravish them with
mine. Her breasts, rising up and down with every breath she takes, are capped
with taut nipples that cannot be contained until they, too, are completely
satisfied. Between her smooth, long legs, her womanhood sparkles in the
candlelight, its glory revealed by the sweet aroma of passion, and aching to
be kissed by my lips and filled completely to overflowing.

As I slowly and dreamily caress my gentle fingers down her soft back to the
secret place between her legs, I hear her sweetly moan – in a language that
only two lovers can understand – words of fulfillment yet with a calling out
for much more.

Sweetly and gently I lay her down on the soft featherbed, to give to her the
desire of her heart…

…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscelltallclubtxt

Wednesday, February 18th, 2009

Archive-title: Tall Clubs of North America

TCNA No. 34: January 28, 1993

Atlanta Sky-Hi Club P.O. Box 52579 Atlanta GA 30355
Tall Club of Austin P.O. Box 14274 Austin TX 78761
Baltimore Tall Club P.O. Box 46074 Baltimore MD 21240-6074
Tower C. of Baltimore 6814 Mink Hollow Rd.Box 16 Highland MD 20777
Bay Area Tall Texans P.O. Box 1416 League City TX 77574-14116
Tall Club of Bend 140 S.E. Rice Way Bend OR 97702
Boston Beanstalks Tall Club 27 Indiana Terrace Newton Upper Falls MA 02164
Miqhty High Tall Singles Club 2820 Ocean Pkwy, 20F Brookland NY 11235
Calary Tall Club #418,808 Royal Ave, S.W. Calgary AB T2T Ol3, Canada
Calif. Central Coast T.C. 47 Dearbourn Pl.#27 Goleta, CA 93117
Calif. Tip Toppers Tall Club, 6436 Firebrand St. LA, CA 90045
Central Arizona Tall Society P.O. 61811 Phoenix AZ 85082-1811
Central Jersey Tall Friends Club 650 E. Main St. Bridgewater NJ 08807
Tall CLub of Central Florida P.O. Box 149111 Orlando FL 32814-9111
Charleston Tall Club P.O. Box 20304 Charleston SC 29413-0304
Paramount Tall Club of Chicago PO Box A-3523 Chicago IL 60690
High Cincinnatians Tall Club P.O. Box 1811 Cincinnati OH 45201-1811
Skyscraper Club of Cleveland P.O. Brx 6581 Cleveland OH 44101
Columbia Tall Club P.O. Box 2509 Columbia SC 29202
Columbus High Society T.C. P.O. Box 16436 Columbus OH 43216
Tall Club of Corpus Christi 4818 Olympia Dr. Corpus Christs TX 78413
Tall Texans of Dallas P.O. Box 541254 Dallas, TX 75354-1254
Timberline Club of Denver P.O. Box 571 Denver CO 80201-0571
Tip Toppers Club of Detroit P.O. Box 1838 Royal Oak MI48068-1838
Rivercity High Society T.C. P.O. Box 2671 Evansville IN 47728-0671
Florida Skyliners of Miami P.O. Box 110237 Hialeah FL 33011-0237
Fort Wayne Hi Lites Club 15808 Canyon Clen Pkwy Ft Wayne IN 46845-9730
Golden Gate Tip Toppers 1366 Funston Ave. San Francisco CA 94122
Hartford Heights P.O. Box 230456 Hartford CT 06103
Honolulu Tall Club 39A Iliahi St. Honolulu HI 96817
Towering Texans of Houston P.O. Box 27228 Houston TX 77227-7228
Rocket City Tall Club P.O. Box 7365 Huntsville AL 35807
TNT Club of Idaho P.O. Box 1533 Boise ID 83701-1533
T.C. of Indianapolis 7920 Timber Ridge Dr. Apt C Indianapolis IN 46219
Iowa Tall Club 704 Second St. Charles City IA 50616
Tall Singles of Las Vegas 3851 S. Wynn Rd. #2042 Las Vegas NV 89103-6015
Tall Club of Long Island P.O. Box 341 Carle Place NY 11514-0341
Tall City T. C. of Midland P.O. Box 5781 Midland TX 79704-5781
Skyliners T. C. of Milwaukee P.O. Box 21527 Milwaukee WI 53221-0527
Milwaukee Toppers’ T. C. P.O. Box 1122 Milwaukee WI 53201
Twin Cities Tall Club P.O. Box 581091 Minneapolis MN 55458-1091
Montana Tall Club 612 7th Street N. Great Falls MT 59401
Sky High Club of Nashville 4204 Park Ave. Nashville TN 37209
New Jersey Moonrakers T. C. P.O. Box 1591 Ridgewood NJ 07451-1591
New Orleans Tall Club 217 Kepler Lake Ct. Slidell LA 70461
Walking Tall In NYC 372 5th Ave. Apt. 5A New York NY 10018
North Palm Beach T. C. P.O. Box 14554 North Palm Beach FL 33408
OKC Tall Club P.O. Box 76527 Oklahoma City OK 73147
Tall Club of Orange County P.O. Box 11411 Santa Ana CA 92711
Pacific Tall Club 3820 May Court Palo Alto CA 94303
Tower Club of Philadelphia P.O. Box 7581 Philadelphia PA 19101-7581
Golden Triangle Tall Club P.O. Box 2765 Pittsburg PA 15230-2765
Portland Skyliners Tall Club P.O. Box 713 Portland OR 97207
Redwood Empire Tall Club P.O. Box 2726 Rohnert Park CA 94927-2726
Reno Tall Club 1545 Fescue Court Reno NV 89509
Greater Richmond Tall Soc. P.O. Box 12304 Richmond VA 23241-0304
Tall Club of Rochester P.O. Box 20193 Rochester NY 14602
Sacramento Tall Club P.O. Box 515 Rancho Cordova CA 95741-0515
St. Louis Tip Toppers P.O. Box 791 Wheeler Station St. Louis MO 63101
Alamo City Tall Club P.O. Box 5934 San Antinio TX 78201
San Diego Tall Singles P.O. Box 81144 San Diego CA 92138
San Fernando Valley Tip Toppers PO Box 2756 Van Nuys CA 91404-2756
San Gabriel Valley Tall Singles PO Box 71 Monrovia CA 91017
Santa Cruz Tall Club 154 Manton Dr. San Jose CA 95123
Tall Club of Savannah 5 S. Nicholson Cr. Savannaha GA 91419
Seattle Tip Toppers P.O. Box 897 Seattle WA 98111
South Bay Tall Club P.O. Box 53391 San Jose CA 95153
Spokane Tall Club E. 429-17th Ave. Spokane WA 99203
Springfield Tall Club 1238 W. Governor St. Springfield IL 62704
Tampa Bay Tall n Terrific P.O. Box 7771 Clearwater FL 34618-7771
T. C. of Toronto P.O. Box 605, Station F Toronto ON M4Y 2L5, Canada
Tucson Tall Club P.O. Box 41285 Tucson AZ 85717-1285
Tulsa Tip Toppers T. C. P.O. Box 471215 Tulsa OK 74147-1215
T. C. of Greater Washington, D.C. P.O. Box 1162 Mclean VA 22101
Tri-County Talls of N.Y. & Conn. P.O. Box 662 Shelton CT 06484
Air Capitol Tall People P.O. Box 26 Augusta KS 67010



Mr. Uwe Seyler Pinneberger Strasse 37-A, 2084 Rellingen 2, Deutschland


Mr. Phil Heinricy 29 Stanhope Street, Hereford HR4 0HA, United Kingdom

Archive-name Miscellsex-lifetxt

Saturday, October 11th, 2008

Archive-author: Don Sharp
Archive-title: Animal Sex Life

From _Easyriders Magazine_

Cross-country bikers who travel cuntless usually discover that to
leave one nagging problem behind simply leaves a throbbing one in front.
Fortunately, America’s farmlands provide an abundance of domestic live-
stock that can be exploited to reduce the swelling. The biker who uses such
means may know that he is practicing a tradition sufficiently ancient to
have been denounced by Moses.

Unfortunately, sex manuals neglect this dimension of sexual prac-
tice. They tell how it’s done in a dozen countries, of acrobatic positions,
of how to use cunt juice as a sauce for roast squab, but tell nothing of
shagging animals. The following treatise may well be the first of its kind.
Hopefully, this pioneer work will stimulate public discussion of animal-
fucking. Perhaps someone will initiate a monthly journal devoted thereto,
complete with centerfolds, advertisements for helpful apparatus, and a
question-answer column (which the author hereof, being the only one quali-
fied, volunteers to write). Further, the author hereof swears on a greasy
chop manual that the lore presented herein has been gathered from years of
attendance to the discourse of plowboys, mule-skinners, swineherds, chick-
en thieves, and others of like ilk, well qualified to instruct. Henceforth,
no biker should begin a cross-country run without taking this copy of Easy-
riders along for guidance.

Given the brevity of this guide, only the rudimentary procedures
appropriate to common domestic livestock can be outlined. Exotic foreign
species such as the yak or alpaca and wildlife such as bears and moose are
excluded, as are dogs, these topics deserving treatises to themselves.

To consider cows first. Cows are basically nervous. They’re like
the prick-teasers of the 50’s who would bat their eyelashes, lean over to show
their boobs, flounce their skirts to show a beaver, and then shriek like
hell if some bothered dude tweaked a tit. Cows can be attracted by a handful
of cottonseed meal, a piece of bread (preferably whole wheat), even a bunch
of grass. They will hang around, switching their tails to show off their
cunts, then get jumpy and run off as soon as the cow-screwer gets serious.

Therefore, to fuck a cow requires that it be immobilized, a fact long
recognized in rural architecture. As long as milkmaids did the milking, it
was done in the open, the cow being kept in place by a bucket of eating
goodies. With the development of large dairies, men took over and the barns
built to shelter milking were cleverly contrived to assist cow-screwing.

The cow was headed into a stall, its head locked in a stanchion, and
hobbles added according to the disposition of the cow and the agility of the
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellpuretinytxt

Saturday, October 4th, 2008

Archive-title: Purity Test – for REALLY low scores already

Newly Revised Purity Test

this is for those
with REALLY low Purity scores

This test has been designed for those people who already have low purity
test scores. You should only take this test if you have purity scores of
below 45%.

Why another version?

1) It is possible to get a score of about 45% simply by dabbling in each
category given in the 1000 question version. This test eliminates all of the
redundancies of asking if you have done something in several different
places… it skips right to the most disgusting, perverted and off-the-wall

2) So that those people who know they have low scores do not need to wade
through all of the questions on the latest version. This will lower the test
taking time from 3 hours to 30 minutes.

3) Doing this lets me put a `Y’ next to question number 999 of the 1000
question version.

Definitions: (for the innocent, naive, or too busy)

If you need definitions, then this test is not for you… please take a
different version.

And yes, technicalities count.

Ready? Then let the test… BEGIN!


1.masturbated while watching an R or X rated movie in public
(a theatre)?

2.had sex with someone whose name you still don’t know?

3.fantasized during sexual activity about somebody other than
the one present during sexual activity?
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellpure150066c

Saturday, August 16th, 2008

Archive-title: Purity Test -1500 Question

Courtesy of Steamed Rhubard Fondue:


If you thought the millenial purity test was bad, well you ain’t see nuttin’

This is the 1500 point Purity Test!

We felt that the 1000 point version lost a lot of the “fun” of the earlier
versions, so we re-wrote it, adding a few new sections, and a shitload of
questions. This test is guaranteed to be nosier that your parents, more
invasive than the census, and containing something to offend everybody.

Also included is an answer form so that you can remember where in the test
you were, or show to a friend.

Enjoy (and I know you will).


Table O’ Contents

Genesis / History
Note to Test Adminitrator
I – The Lamer Section
II – Who Says You Need A Parter OR I’m The Best I’ve Ever Had
III – How Low Will You Go?
IV – I Fought the Law and *I* Won
V – Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Hiney Ho
VI – This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stick-Up
VII – Julia Child, Eat Yourself Out
VIII – Something Smells Fishy Down Here
IX – The Nitty and the Gritty
X – The Meaning Of Life
XI – Green Eggs and Ham
XII – Look, Ma, No Hands!
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Divers do it deep

Thursday, March 13th, 2008

I went for a warm-water diving holiday – blue skies – clear water – my
club-mates all had other plans, or they had used up their holiday leave – and
so they got left behind

You never know who you’ll end up diving with – it’s a mixture, good and bad -
but it’s warm – We need our cold-water wetsuit tops on, over our swim gear, but
it’s warm enough to leave off the neoprene pants that are a must back home -
When I get there we have an odd number in the party – we start by diving with a
three – then the next new arrival is buddied with me – she isn’t bad-looking -
on the thin side – but she starts off like a real pain – chip-on-shoulder
feminist -

We start a boat dive – get our kit together – I go to check her over before we
dive – she says ‘don’t treat me like a beginner – I don’t need this macho diver
stuff – I’m an underwater archaeologist’ – well I come from a club where we
look after each other – we take safety seriously – I hope I’ll get the same
from you – she shrugs

we start the dive from the boat after a longish trip out round the coast – a
shallow-water boat dive should be safe and easy – no more than ten metres -
lots of light, warmth and colours – oh we can’t make up our minds to agree
which way to go – signal troubles and squabble – she swims well but wants to
lead off anywhere and everywhere – I follow – hardly any time to look at the
wildlife -

rocks and weed and crud – something wrong – we’re both tangled up in something
– I signal her to wait while I try and get rid of whatever it is – I get out my
knife and start cutting – she’s really nervous – fidgets and flaps – getting
more tangled up – is it net or is it line – can’t see as it’s practically
invisible in the water – just a bit of weed caught in it – I give her stronger
signals to stop fart-arsing about – point my index-finger – show flat of hand -
ring with thumb and first finger – meaning – you – stop right there – ok? -
at last she gives back – ok – she stops moving around and I set to work – only
a few strands round my fins – wow – she’s got in a mess – lots of tangled stuff
– knife isn’t the best for nets, but it’s all I’ve got – a very little air into
her jacket – so she’ll rise up out of the net as she gets free – bit of air
into mine too – I work to free her head first and then on down – what’s this,
more net stuff round her regulator valve – cut it free – stay far enough off
not to get tangled again myself we swap more signals while I work – check
there’s no more panic – she gives ‘ok’ back – right, now her body’s free and
out of the net, only her legs to do, there are strands around her knife-sheath
and fins – eventually we get her entirely free – at last – better check though
I’m pretty sure we’re all ok -

oh fuck, she may be a pain, but she’s got good legs – I get a slight stir about
the cock and wonder what the rest of her is like – well, now the main work is
done, but I run my hands all down her thighs, to make sure there’s nothing
…End of the part1. To be continued..