Archive for the ‘cum eating’ Category

Archive-name Miscellpure-40035a part19

Friday, January 8th, 2010

sound of a person defecating.–The Book of Sex Lists, compiled by A. B. Gerber.
Ballantine Books, New York. 1981.
11
3: Masturbation by rubbing against another person.–Webster’s.
The need to rub against another stranger, especially in a tightly packed
crowd.–Sex Lists.
12
A dependency on being given an enema.–Sex Lists.
13
Fascination with the dead; specif: obsession with and usu. erotic attraction
toward and stimulation by corpses typically evidenced by overt acts (as
copulation with a corpse.)–Webster’s.
14
Abnormal attraction to filth.–Webster’s.
A dependency on something soiled or filthy, such as sweaty underwear or used
menstrual pads.–Sex Lists.
15
A desire to look at sexually stimulating scenes esp. as a substitute for
actual sexual participation that constitutes a partial or component instinct
often sublimated (as in a desire for learning).–Webster’s.
A dependency on looking at sexual organs and watching sexual activity openly.
It is not surreptitious as in voyeurism.–Sex Lists.
16
Being dependently responsive to the smell or taste of urine or the sight and
sound of someone urinating.–Sex Lists.
17
1: One whose sexual desire is concentrated upon seeing sex organs and sexual
acts — called also peeping tom. 2: An unduly prying observer usu. in search of
sordid acts or scandalous sights.–Webster’s.
Being dependently responsive to the risk of being caught while illicitly
peering at another person or couple undressing or engaged in sexual
activity.–Sex Lists.
18
Do NOT attempt this if you have a heart condition, or have a history of
cardiac failures.
19
Do NOT attempt this at home. This is an extremely dangerous activity. The
people who perform this feat are highly trained athletes.
20
Vaginal oral sex.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Table of Contents
Disclaimer of Liability A
Genesis – History B
Instructions for Use D
1. Platonic Relations 1
2. Auto-erotica and Mono-sexualism 3
3. Legislative Misfits and Other Ethical Questions 6
4. Drugs 9
5. Non Platonic 11
6. Non Primary Choice Relations 15
7. Alternate Choices 17
8. Group Sexual Relations 19
9. Extracurricular, deviant conduct 21
9.1. Non sentient objects 21
9.2. Locality 24
9.3. Style 27
I. Scoring 31
II. Warranty Information 32

Archive-name Miscellpure-40035a part15

Monday, January 4th, 2010

masturbated someone else, necked, or petted in a water based,
vehicular transport medium locomoted by manual power? (Row boat,
surfboard, floating bathtub, etc. While it may be true that the
surfboard, or whatever, need not be in water at the time, we are
making it the case here; so for it to be valid point, the thing must
be in the water at the time.)
322. had sex, received oral sex, been masturbated, performed oral sex,
masturbated someone else, necked, or petted in a water based, wind
or propeller driven transport medium not in excess of 80 feet?
(Yacht, PT boat, etc.)
323. had sex, received oral sex, been masturbated, performed oral sex,
masturbated someone else, necked, or petted in a water based, wind
or propeller driven transport medium that is in excess of 80 feet?
(Ship, battleship, aircraft carrier, nuclear submarine, etc.)
324. had sex, received oral sex, been masturbated, performed oral sex,
masturbated someone else, necked, or petted in an aircraft?
(Airplane, helicopter, hovercraft, balloon, zeppelin, flying carpet,
flying saucer, etc.)
325. had sex in a household room other than a bedroom?
326. had sex on the floor (but not the roof)?
327. had sex on any furniture that is indoors but is not a bed, table,
desk, counter-top, a nor anything that is predominantly used for
sitting, or to be used as a table/desk?
328. had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual
masturbation in a telephone booth, voting booth, automatic
photograph takers, or any such small, non-moving enclosure that was
not designed for such activities?
329. had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual
masturbation in an elevator, people-mover, escalator, or any
building internal people moving device?
330. had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual
masturbation up a tree but not in a tree house or similar structure?
331. had sex participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual
masturbation on a roof of a building in excess of 5 floors?
332. had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual
masturbation inside or within the confines of a hedge, bush, other
natural vegetation which can provide a wall effect, cave, rock
overhang, in a well, or any other secluded, outdoor, non-vegetative
shielding structure?
333. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in the snow? (Spring thaw
acceptable.)
334. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a place where the
prevailing, ambient temperature (of the air immediately surrounding
you) was below the freezing point of water?
335. had sex, participated in oral sex, or participated in mutual
masturbation in a place where you could have been discovered?
336. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a water-filled
bath-tub, hot tub, under a shower, running water (as in waterfalls,
tropical, torrential downpour, monsoons, etc.)?
337. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation in a body of water?
…End of the part15. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellpure-001501 part4

Saturday, December 26th, 2009

– homosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the
word “someone” or “partner”, is to be someone of
YOUR OWN gender.
– 50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often
referred to by the word “someone” or “partner”, is to
be someone of the OPPOSITE gender.
– asexual, then go take another test; we don’t need your dull type
around HERE!

1. Are you pure?
_______________________________________________________________________________
I. Scoring
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a sheet of paper containing
one itty-bitty answer to the Purity Test (Ooooooh!). Sworn to excellence of
workmanship, we now give you directions on how to calculate your Purity score.
There are several methods; the calculator method works best. Also there is the
a la mainframe method. (A DECsystem-2060 works great as a PC.)

Scoring method: Count “yes” answers.
Multiply the result by 100.
The result is your percentage purity.

The higher the number, the more pure you are; in the same vein, the lower the
score, the more of a sleaze-bag you are.
(Kinda cut-and-dry, black-and-white, eh?)

For your reference, we include calculator directions:
For people with real calculators (HP):
<# of YES answers> [ENTER] 100 *
For people with other (dinky) calculators:
<# of YES answers> * 100 =
_______________________________________________________________________________
II. Warranty Information
We hope that you have enjoyed this test. It does not come with a
warranty, nor does it guarantee that it will get you laid or make you somehow
somewhat better in bed or the haystack.
The makers of this test are not responsible for any liabilities or
damages resulting from this test, including but not limited to paternity suits.
Ask your doctor or pharmacist.
Do not open back panel; no user serviceable parts inside.
Propagate (this test) at will, even without the written permission of
the publisher; just DON’T edit or change it. In reproducing this test, the
authors of this test may exercise droit de seigneur over you, your immediate
family, or fiance(e). You may or may not have additional rights which may vary
from state to state (i.e. inebriated, ecstacy).
(Editor’s Note: Yeah, right.)
Not recommended for children under twelve. Parental guidance
discouraged and frowned upon. Pencils, additional paper, and batteries not
included. Some assembly may be required. Does not come with any other
figures.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Drive carefully; 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents.

The above is a public service announcement of this institution.

EDITOR’S FINAL NOTE: This ‘unofficial’ version of the purity test was designed
with one thought in mind: that PEOPLE HAVE BETTER THINGS
TO DO THAN SIT AROUND AND ASK ABSURD NAUGHTY QUESTIONS! I
mean, it’s one thing to ask “Have you ever done it?” but
it’s another thing to ask “Have you ever done it while
piloting an aircraft of over 30,000 pounds unladen net
weight over a foreign country in the late summer while
reading a copy of ‘Wuthering Heights’ and being almost
(but not quite) totally naked?” and to ask about every
other bloody state in between!! 400 questions was a
daunting task, but 500 questions? EYUUGH! Not to mention
that after plowing through the 500-question test one
time, almost every person we’ve talked to has had their
Purity score go up! So we’ve taken it upon ourselves to
alleviate the burden of taking a long-winded, inaccurate
examination by reducing it to a quick quiz of personal
beliefs; if YOU think you’ve done enough to be impure,
GO FOR IT! Far be it for US to tell you how pure you
are! It’s all up to you. And isn’t that what it’s all
about, anyway?

************> Brought to you by: Patrick G. Salsbury, Super Genius <***********

************> Joseph V. Prisco, aka Pope Zaphod I of the 80 columns <***********

************> and your local True Value Hardware dealer… <***********

Archive-name Miscellpure-001501

Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009

Archive-author:
Archive-title: Purity Test – 1 Question

================================================================================

THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL
P U R I T Y T E S T

_______________________________________________________________________________

Version 5.01 (1)
Final Release
11-September-1989
_______________________________________________________________________________
Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with
going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love. Murphy’s law on
sex: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Chaste makes
waste. Virginity can be cured.

This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced Research
Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics Laboratory.
The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted
as representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the
Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be
interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed
any of the actions contained herein.
_______________________________________________________________________________

Disclaimer of Liability

The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that a person
must copulate in control, and use good judgement at all times; that partners’
conditions vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather changes and
previous use; and that dirty sheets, variations in terrain and bed surfaces,
spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed obstacles, and
many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users
and customers, exist throughout the bedroom area. Personal managers
(pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and equipment are constantly in
use and may be hazardous to those not copulating in control. Impotence,
collisions, and social diseases resulting in injury can happen at any time,
even to those copulating in control with proper sexual equipment. Inherent
risks are part of the sport and may exist within your partner. As a condition
of being permitted to use the facilities of your partner, the user of this test
agrees to copulate in control and within the limits of his/her ability, and
further acknowledges and accepts these hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes
the risk of injury or loss to person or damage to property which might result
from use of the partner’s facilities.

…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellpsyeatgtxt part4

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

If you’re doing this as foreplay, then shaving will take you about
1/2 hour, maybe a little more. Trimming will take about 20 minutes,
including the clean up of her cut hair. Once this is done, and she’s
hopefully pulled you into the bed, demanding her “reward” for the night,
take your time to let her really experience the new sensations. Prolong
it, and make her writhe about in estascy at the new feelings.

Now a few words for the guys. First, if you’re bearded or have any
sort of facial hair, be sure to shave before going down on her shaved
pussy. This is especially true if you’re clean shaven, but have ANY
stubble, even your nightly five o’clock shadow. This feels like sandpaper
to her thighs and her very sensitive sexual areas. If you can’t part
with your beard or mustache, then don’t expect her to let you near her,
at least after that first time!

Okay, now you’ve had your way, give her what she wants. If you’ve
been listening, you’ve picked up on the idea of doing all of this with
the attitude of making her pleasure greater, for HER enjoyment. Oh, sure,
you’ll get a lot out of this too, but that’s not the point now is it?
Once you’ve finally begun tounging her clit and pussy, remember you have
two of the most versatile instruments ever invented — your hands. And
you have ten fingers with which to give her pleasure. Simplicity is to
use one or two fingers and slowly enter her with them. Now instead of
simply using them like a shaft that pumps in and out, try bending them.
Up, down, sideways. See what she likes. As she becomes aroused, try to
spread them against her muscular ring inside. You might be surprised at
how strong these muscles are. Spread your fingers, and move in and out.
Vary the strength you use to spread them, and try to sense when her
muscles contract quickly and strongly against your fingers. This is a
sure indication that she likes something you did.

Consider that men and women’s sexual organs have similar origins.
The same nerves that connect her clit to her brain, also connect your
cock to your brain. In fact, your cock can be seen as a very long clit,
as they both are attached to the body in the same areas. When you
masturbate, the same muscles you use to flex your cock upwards are the
same ones she contracts to squeeze your fingers (or cock) inside her
pussy.

A last few words on the oral sensations you can give her. The area
below her vaginal entrance and her anus is often overlooked. This is a
shame, as it is a very sensitive area. Use your tounge firmly here, and
flick it rapidly either up and down, or side to side. If you desire, you
can run your tounge around the edge of her anus, which will also be
sensitive. This is, of course, best done after a bath or shower, when
she is fresh and clean. This may sound practical, but I offer it up for
another reason. There is a psycological fear we all have of offending
someone with bodily odors. Women won’t feel “sensual” or “desireable” if
they’re holding their breath, worried that you’ll be turned off by their
bodily odors.

Now, if you’ve read this far, you’ve gotten the idea that you can
give your lady lots of pleasure, and you may be wondering “hey! What
about ME?!” Well, what about you? If you have done things properly,
you’ve brought your woman to the verge of orgasm, excited every nerve in
her body, and shown her that you LIKE making her sexy and sensual.
Decision time. Do you take her over the edge and let her come? Or, do you
now ask this passionate woman to climb on and ride you so you both can
come? Dither, dither, dither. As a suggestion I would say that at
first, you give her a nice orgasm. If she is multi-orgasmic so much the
better, keep her going for several. Then, hold her and caress her gently
while she relaxes and drifts, secure in your arms, being loved by her
loving man. She’ll love you for it. Other times however, you may want
to pause, with her in a very sexual frame of mind, and let her take her
turn at you. This allows her to drive you to the same plateau of sexual
cravings as you did to her, and then you both can get crazy with each
other. The secret here is DON’T always do the same thing. Keep her
guessing and responding to the sensations you are giving her. Likely,
you’ll have some wonderful sex, and even better, someone who appreciates
you for it.

Good luck, and happy licking!

Archive-name Miscellosjgtxt part39

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

34 White Street
New York
(212) 226-4870
Located two blocks below Canal Street on Church Street, at the
corner of Church and White Streets.
Topless Dancers
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES SERVED: Yes
CLUB HOURS: Mon – Sat Noon to 4:00AM
COVER CHARGE: None
CLUB CAPACITY: 160
FOOD SERVICE: None
DRESS CODE: Optional
INFORMATION PROVIDED BY THE CLUB:
Club has a Monday Night Football party and an amateur night every
Saturday.

HARMONY THEATER
279 Church Street
New York
Located 3 blocks south of Canal Street and one block west of
Broadway, between Franklin and White Streets.
Nude Dancers
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES SERVED: No
CLUB HOURS: Noon to Midnight
COVER CHARGE: $10.00
FOOD SERVICE: None
DRESS CODE: Anything goes

STRINGFELLOW’S PRESENTS – PURE PLATINUM
35 E. 21st Street
New York
(212) 254-2444
East 21st Street at Park Avenue
Topless Dancers
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES SERVED: Yes
CLUB HOURS: Mon – Fri 4:00PM to 4:00AM, Sat & Sun 8:00PM to 4:00A
COVER CHARGE: $10.00, 4:00PM to 7:00PM; $15.00 after 7:00PM

PAGE 37

THE OFFICIAL STRIP JOINT GUIDE(tm)

NEW YORK (continued)

FOOD SERVICE: Yes
DRESS CODE: No sneakers, torn jeans.
INFORMATION PROVIDED BY THE CLUB:
New York’s most sophisticated club.

KORINA LOUNGE
…End of the part39. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellosjgtxt part38

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

VIRGINIA’S
95-36 Queens Blvd.
Flushing
(718) 830-9042
Pasties/GoGo Dancers
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES SERVED: Yes
CLUB HOURS: 11:30AM to 4:00AM
DRESS CODE: None

BEAR NECESSITY
3902 Long Beach Road
Island Park
(516) 432-9168
Take the Long Island Expressway to Southern State; Exit 175 to
Sunrise Hwy; then exit on Long Beach Rd.
Topless Dancers
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES SERVED: Yes
CLUB HOURS: Mon-Sat 11:30AM to 4:00AM, Sun 5:00PM to 4:00AM
COVER CHARGE: None
FOOD SERVICE: None
DRESS CODE: Casual
INFORMATION PROVIDED BY THE CLUB:
Clam bakes features every Sunday. Beach Parties on Tuesdays.
Wednesday is Luah Night.

SECRETS
157-13 Rockaway Blvd.
Jamaica
(718) 525-9499
Topless Dancers
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES SERVED: Yes

PAGE 36

THE OFFICIAL STRIP JOINT GUIDE(tm)

NEW YORK (continued)

CLUB HOURS: Tues – Sat 2:00PM to 3:00AM
COVER CHARGE: None
CLUB CAPACITY: 80
FOOD SERVICE: None
DRESS CODE: None

JOHNNIE’S TOPLESS GOGO
State Route 17B
Monticello
(914) 794-4170

BABY DOLL LOUNGE
…End of the part38. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellosjgtxt part35

Saturday, November 21st, 2009

NEVADA

CAN-CAN ROOM
3155 Industrial Road
Las Vegas
(702) 737-1161
Located behind the Stardust Hotel on Industrial Road.
Nude Dancers
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES SERVED: No
CLUB HOURS: 3:00PM to Dawn
COVER CHARGE: $10.00
CLUB CAPACITY: 150
FOOD SERVICE: None
DRESS CODE: None
INFORMATION PROVIDED BY THE CLUB:
Club occasionally schedules special features or events.

PAGE 33

THE OFFICIAL STRIP JOINT GUIDE(tm)

NEVADA (continued)

TENDER TRAP
311 E. Flamingo Road
Las Vegas
(702) 732-1111
Located 1/2 mile east of Bally’s
Topless Dancers
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES SERVED: Yes
CLUB HOURS: 4:00PM to 6:00AM
COVER CHARGE: None
CLUB CAPACITY: Small
FOOD SERVICE: None
DRESS CODE: No t-shirts

NEW JERSEY

RJ’S
1450 St. George Ave.
Avenel
(908) 388-9119

HEART BREAKERS
611 Bloomfield Ave.
Bloomfield
(201) 748-5848

PEEK-A-BOO
…End of the part35. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellhypnosistxt part3

Sunday, October 4th, 2009

then add in a “…always concentrating upon my voice, ingoring all other sounds
. Even though other sounds exsist, they aid you in your relaxation…”
They should soon let out a sigh as if they were letting go, and their face
should have a “woodeness” to it, becoming featurless… Now, say the following

“…. You now find yourself in a hallway, the hallway is peaceful and nice.
As I count from 10 to 1 you will imagine yourself walking further and further
down the hall. When I reach one you will find yourself where you want to be,
in another, higher state of concious and mind. (Count from ten to one)…..”

Do this about three or four times. Then, to test if the subject is under
hypnosis or not, say….

“…You feel a strange sensation in your (arm they write with) arm, the feeling
begins at your fingers and slowly moves up your arm, as it moves through your
arm your arm becomes lighter and lighter, it will soon be so light it will rise
….. Becoming lighter and lighter which each breath and moment…”

Their fingers should begin to twitch and then move up, the arm following, now
my friend, you have him/her in hypnosis. The first time you do this, while
he/she is under say good things, like: “your going to feel great tomorrow” or
“every day in every way you will find yourself becoming better and better”..
Or some crap like that… The more they go under, the deeper in hypnosis they
will get each time you do it.

+—————————-+
! What to do when Hypnotised !
+—————————-+

When you have them under you must word things very carefully to get your way.
You cannot simply say… Take off your clothes and hump the pillow. No, that
would not really do the trick. You must say something like…. “you find your
self at home, in your room and you have to take a shower (vividly describe
their room and whats happening), you begin to take off your clothes…” Now,
it cant be THAT simple, you must know the persons house, room, and shower room.
Then describe things vividly and tell them to act it out (they have to be
DEEPLY under to do this…). I would just suggest that you experiment a while,
and get to know how to do things.

+———–+
! Waking Up !
+———–+

Waking up is very easy, just say..

“…as I count from 1 to 5 you will find yourself becomming more and more
awake, more and more lively. When you wake up you will find yourself complete-
ly alive, awake, and refreshed. Mentally and physically, remembering the
pleasant sensation that hypnosis brings… Waking up feeling like a new born
baby, reborn with life and vigor, feeling excellent. Remembering that next time
you enter hypnosis it will become an ever increasing deeper and deeper state
than before. 1- you feel energy course throughout your limbs. 2- you begin
to breathe deeply, stirring. 3- begining to move more and more your eyes
open, bringing you up to full concious. 4- you are up,up, up and awakening
more and more. 5- you are awake and feeling great.”

And thats it! You now know how to hypnotise yourself and someone else.
You will learn more and more as you experiment.
+—————————————————————————–+
! (C)opyright 1985 Metal Communications Inc. All Rights Rebuked. !
+—————————————————————————–+