480. foot masturbated someone?
481. been foot masturbated?
482. tongue bathed someone?
483. been tongue bathed?
484. licked or sucked on someone else’s feet and/or toes?
485. had your feet and/or toes licked or sucked by someone else?
486. licked someone’s anus?
487. licked someone’s anus while they were defecating?
488. performed oral sex while the person was urinating?
489. drank your own urine?
490. tasted or drank someone else’s urine?
491. drank/drained an entire bladder-full of someone else’s urine?
492. drank human blood?
493. tasted someone else’s nasal mucous?
494. been involved in a golden shower?
495. swallowed your partner’s orgasmic secretions?
496. used the Purity Test as a checklist of things you could do?
497. ever done something for the sole purpose of lowering your Purity Test
score?
498. bought/read books to enhance sexual technique?
499. participated in Purity Testing with an ulterior motive?
500. become interested in someone only after hearing about their Purity Test
score?
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I. Scoring
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a sheet of paper containing
lots of itty-bitty answers to the Purity Test. Sworn to excellence of
workmanship, we now give you directions on how to calculate your Purity score.
There are several methods; the calculator method works best. Also there is the
a la mainframe method. (A DECsystem-2060 works great as a PC.)
Scoring method: Count “yes” answers.
Subtract that number from 500.
Divide the result by 5.
The result is your percentage purity.
The higher the number, the more pure you are; in the same vein, the lower the
score, the more of a sleaze-bag you are.
For your reference, we include calculator directions:
For people with real calculators (HP):
<# of NO answers> [ENTER] 5 /
For people with other (dinky) calculators:
<# of NO answers> / 5 =
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II. Warranty Information
We hope that you have enjoyed this test. It does not come with a warranty, nor
does it guarantee that it will get you laid or make you somehow somewhat better
in bed or the haystack.
The makers of this test are not responsible for any liabilities or damages
resulting from this test, including but not limited to paternity suits. Ask
your doctor or pharmacist.
Do not open back panel; no user serviceable parts inside.
Propagate (this test) at will, even without the written permission of the
publisher; just don’t edit or change it. In reproducing this test, the authors
of this test may exercise droit de seigneur over you, your immediate family, or
fiance(e). You may or may not have additional rights which may vary from state
to state (i.e. inebriated, ecstacy).
Not recommended for children under twelve. Parental guidance discouraged and
frowned upon. Pencils, additional paper, and batteries not included. Some
assembly may be required. Does not come with any other figures.
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Drive carefully; 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents.
The above is a public service announcement of this institution.
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