11. slam danced?
12. slow danced?
13. copped a feel while slow dancing?
14. tangoed?
15. waltzed?
16. lambadaed?
17. had the symptoms of Russian (rushing) Fingers?
18. had the symptoms of Roman (roaming) Hands?
19. asked someone who you were not going out with and had never gone out with
if he/she was a virgin?
20. french kissed?
21. necked?
22. attended sub races, watched for UFO’s, or similar activity?
23. hot tubbed in mixed company (jacuzzi or hydropool)?
24. hot tubbed in the nude?
25. hot tubbed in the nude in mixed company?
26. while hot tubbing been groped under the water?
27. while hot tubbing groped someone under the water?
28. saunaed or steam bathed in mixed company?
29. in the nude?
30. in the nude in mixed company?
31. put suntan lotion, cocoa butter, or baby oil on someone (at beach or
pool)?
32. had someone put suntan lotion, cocoa butter, or baby oil on you?
33. played post office (or other kissing game)?
34. played pony express (post office with more horsing around)?
35. played doctor?
36. played Twister?
37. played Naked Twister?
38. been picked up?
39. picked someone up?
40. picked up sailors (marines, soldiers)?
41. had a one night stand?
42. been hit by a thrown chalk eraser (by the teacher)?
43. been in intellectual combat with an unarmed person, and not given them a
running head start?
44. been on a pub crawl?
45. slept on watch?
46. slept in your undies?
47. slept in the nude?
48. slept in class?
49. interrupted a lecture with your snoring?
50. bundled (archaic, the sharing of sleeping arrangements by persons of the
opposite sex while clothed. In theory, nothing goes on.)?
51. played footsie or ‘kneesie’?
52. played footsie or ‘kneesie’ with someone not your date, significant other
or spouse?
53. been UNABLE to share a bed, sleeping bag or other sleeping arrangements
without something steamy happening?
54. used tickling as a pickup or getting to know you better activity?
…End of the part6. To be continued..
Archive for September, 2008
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part6
Tuesday, September 30th, 2008Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part5
Monday, September 29th, 2008 cross a line through them for five… easy to count). Take the total,
subtract from 1500, and divide by 15. Basic math stuff.
We would now like to bring to your attention that there is no passing nor
failing score. Therefore, one really shouldn’t worry too much about getting a
high score…even if you do get giggled at for the rest of your life.
— ALL TECHNICALITIES COUNT —
And, most of all, this is entertainment. Have as much fun in the taking as
was had in the making.
—–
Note to the test administrator:
Even though we tried to prevent it, this test can get monotonous. Try to
“liven” it up by adding comments and goofiness wherever you want to.
Encourage testees to be open with their answers. Taking a break is allowed,
but not recommended. Plan on a few hours. Order some pizza. Get a keg.
Smoke a bowl. Drop a hit. Whatever. Basically, have a party.
——————————————
Perverts Anonymous Qualification Exam
Version 6.6c March 25, 1993 10:25.42pm
primary writer: Steamed Rhubarb Fondue (J. A. Pfaff)
contributing writers: Wolvorine (Owen Kuhn), Astra (JAN!),
and friends and family of The Erotic Nightmare Revue
E-mail any questions or comments to:
japfaff@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu
——————————————
I. The Lamer Section
(Good Clean, ‘Wholesome’ Activities – 90 Questions)
Have you ever:
1. held hands with someone?
2. hugged somebody?
3. kissed a friend or stranger as a friendly gesture?
4. kissed a friend or stranger as an unfriendly gesture?
5. flirted?
6. been on a date?
7. been on a date past one a.m.?
8. stood someone up?
9. dated someone on a regular basis?
10. gone steady?
…End of the part5. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part49
Sunday, September 28th, 2008 949)__ 950)__ 951)__ 952)__ 953)__ 954)__ 955)__ 956)__ 957)__ 958)__
959)__ 960)__ 961)__ 962)__ 963)__ 964)__ 965)__ 966)__ 967)__ 968)__
969)__ 970)__ 971)__ 972)__ 973)__ 974)__ 975)__ 976)__ 977)__ 978)__
979)__ 980)__ 981)__ 982)__ 983)__ 984)__ 985)__ 986)__ 987)__ 988)__
989)__ 990)__ 991)__ 992)__ 993)__ 994)__ 995)__ 996)__ 997)__ 998)__
999)__1000)__1001)__1002)__1003)__1004)__1005)__1006)__
XII. Look, Ma, No Hands! – (130 Questions)
1007)__1008)__1009)__1010)__1011)__1012)__1013)__1014)__1015)__1016)__
1017)__1018)__1019)__1020)__1021)__1022)__1023)__1024)__1025)__1026)__
1027)__1028)__1029)__1030)__1031)__1032)__1033)__1034)__1035)__1036)__
1037)__1038)__1039)__1040)__1041)__1042)__1043)__1044)__1045)__1046)__
1047)__1048)__1049)__1050)__1051)__1052)__1053)__1054)__1055)__1056)__
1057)__1058)__1059)__1060)__1061)__1062)__1063)__1064)__1065)__1066)__
1067)__1068)__1069)__1070)__1071)__1072)__1073)__1074)__1075)__1076)__
1077)__1078)__1079)__1080)__1081)__1082)__1083)__1084)__1085)__1086)__
1087)__1088)__1089)__1090)__1091)__1092)__1093)__1094)__1095)__1096)__
1097)__1098)__1099)__1100)__1101)__1102)__1103)__1104)__1105)__1106)__
1107)__1108)__1109)__1110)__1111)__1112)__1113)__1114)__1115)__1116)__
1117)__1118)__1119)__1120)__1121)__1122)__1123)__1124)__1125)__1126)__
1127)__1128)__1129)__1130)__1131)__1132)__1133)__1134)__1135)__1136)__
XIII. Kids, Don’t Try This at Home – (192 Questions)
1137)__1138)__1139)__1140)__1141)__1142)__1143)__1144)__1145)__1146)__
1147)__1148)__1149)__1150)__1151)__1152)__1153)__1154)__1155)__1156)__
1157)__1158)__1159)__1160)__1161)__1162)__1163)__1164)__1165)__1166)__
1167)__1168)__1169)__1170)__1171)__1172)__1173)__1174)__1175)__1176)__
1177)__1178)__1179)__1180)__1181)__1182)__1183)__1184)__1185)__1186)__
1187)__1188)__1189)__1190)__1191)__1192)__1193)__1194)__1195)__1196)__
1197)__1198)__1199)__1200)__1201)__1202)__1203)__1204)__1205)__1206)__
1207)__1208)__1209)__1210)__1211)__1212)__1213)__1214)__1215)__1216)__
1217)__1218)__1219)__1220)__1221)__1222)__1223)__1224)__1225)__1226)__
1227)__1228)__1229)__1230)__1231)__1232)__1233)__1234)__1235)__1236)__
1237)__1238)__1239)__1240)__1241)__1242)__1243)__1244)__1245)__1246)__
1247)__1248)__1249)__1250)__1251)__1252)__1253)__1254)__1255)__1256)__
1257)__1258)__1259)__1260)__1261)__1262)__1263)__1264)__1265)__1266)__
1267)__1268)__1269)__1270)__1271)__1272)__1273)__1274)__1275)__1276)__
1277)__1278)__1279)__1280)__1281)__1282)__1283)__1284)__1285)__1286)__
1287)__1288)__1289)__1290)__1291)__1292)__1293)__1294)__1295)__1296)__
1297)__1298)__1299)__1300)__1301)__1302)__1303)__1304)__1305)__1306)__
1307)__1308)__1309)__1310)__1311)__1312)__1313)__1314)__1315)__1316)__
1317)__1318)__1319)__1320)__1321)__1322)__1323)__1324)__1325)__1326)__
1327)__1328)__
XIV. Don’t Worry; I was a Boy Scout – (56 Questions)
1329)__1330)__1331)__1332)__1333)__1334)__1335)__1336)__1337)__1338)__
1339)__1340)__1341)__1342)__1343)__1344)__1345)__1346)__1347)__1348)__
1349)__1350)__1351)__1352)__1353)__1354)__1355)__1356)__1357)__1358)__
1359)__1360)__1361)__1362)__1363)__1364)__1365)__1366)__1367)__1368)__
1369)__1370)__1371)__1372)__1373)__1374)__1375)__1376)__1377)__1378)__
1379)__1380)__1381)__1382)__1383)__1384)__
XV. Mama Always Told Me to Share – (30 Questions)
1385)__1386)__1387)__1388)__1389)__1390)__1391)__1392)__1393)__1394)__
1395)__1396)__1397)__1398)__1399)__1400)__1401)__1402)__1403)__1404)__
1405)__1406)__1407)__1408)__1409)__1410)__1411)__1412)__1413)__1414)__
XVI. Old MacDonald had his Farm, E-I-E-I-OHHHHHHH! – (29 Questions)
1415)__1416)__1417)__1418)__1419)__1420)__1421)__1422)__1423)__1424)__
1425)__1426)__1427)__1428)__1429)__1430)__1431)__1432)__1433)__1434)__
1435)__1436)__1437)__1438)__1439)__1440)__1441)__1442)__1443)__
XVII. Let There Be Lips! – (42 Questions)
1444)__1445)__1446)__1447)__1448)__1449)__1450)__1451)__1452)__1453)__
1454)__1455)__1456)__1457)__1458)__1459)__1460)__1461)__1462)__1463)__
1464)__1465)__1466)__1467)__1468)__1469)__1470)__1471)__1472)__1473)__
1474)__1475)__1476)__1477)__1478)__1479)__1480)__1481)__1482)__1483)__
1484)__1485)__
XVIII. Eyes on Your Own Papers, Please – (15 Questions)
1486)__1487)__1488)__1489)__1490)__1491)__1492)__1493)__1494)__1495)__
1496)__1497)__1498)__1499)__1500)__
——————————————
–
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part48
Saturday, September 27th, 2008 586)__ 587)__ 588)__ 589)__ 590)__ 591)__ 592)__ 593)__ 594)__ 595)__
596)__ 597)__ 598)__ 599)__ 600)__ 601)__ 602)__ 603)__ 604)__ 605)__
606)__ 607)__ 608)__ 609)__ 610)__ 611)__ 612)__ 613)__ 614)__ 615)__
616)__ 617)__ 618)__ 619)__ 620)__ 621)__ 622)__ 623)__ 624)__ 625)__
626)__ 627)__ 628)__ 629)__ 630)__ 631)__ 632)__ 633)__ 634)__ 635)__
636)__ 637)__ 638)__ 639)__
IX. The Nitty and the Gritty – (65 Questions)
640)__ 641)__ 642)__ 643)__ 644)__ 645)__ 646)__ 647)__ 648)__ 649)__
650)__ 651)__ 652)__ 653)__ 654)__ 655)__ 656)__ 657)__ 658)__ 659)__
660)__ 661)__ 662)__ 663)__ 664)__ 665)__ 666)__ 667)__ 668)__ 669)__
670)__ 671)__ 672)__ 673)__ 674)__ 675)__ 676)__ 677)__ 678)__ 679)__
680)__ 681)__ 682)__ 683)__ 684)__ 685)__ 686)__ 687)__ 688)__ 689)__
690)__ 691)__ 692)__ 693)__ 694)__ 695)__ 696)__ 697)__ 698)__ 699)__
700)__ 701)__ 702)__ 703)__ 704)__
X. The Meaning Of Life – (124 Questions)
705)__ 706)__ 707)__ 708)__ 709)__ 710)__ 711)__ 712)__ 713)__ 714)__
715)__ 716)__ 717)__ 718)__ 719)__ 720)__ 721)__ 722)__ 723)__ 724)__
725)__ 726)__ 727)__ 728)__ 729)__ 730)__ 731)__ 732)__ 733)__ 734)__
735)__ 736)__ 737)__ 738)__ 739)__ 740)__ 741)__ 742)__ 743)__ 744)__
745)__ 746)__ 747)__ 748)__ 749)__ 750)__ 751)__ 752)__ 753)__ 754)__
755)__ 756)__ 757)__ 758)__ 759)__ 760)__ 761)__ 762)__ 763)__ 764)__
765)__ 766)__ 767)__ 768)__ 769)__ 770)__ 771)__ 772)__ 773)__ 774)__
775)__ 776)__ 777)__ 778)__ 779)__ 780)__ 781)__ 782)__ 783)__ 784)__
785)__ 786)__ 787)__ 788)__ 789)__ 790)__ 791)__ 792)__ 793)__ 794)__
795)__ 796)__ 797)__ 798)__ 799)__ 800)__ 801)__ 802)__ 803)__ 804)__
805)__ 806)__ 807)__ 808)__ 809)__ 810)__ 811)__ 812)__ 813)__ 814)__
815)__ 816)__ 817)__ 818)__ 819)__ 820)__ 821)__ 822)__ 823)__ 824)__
825)__ 826)__ 827)__ 828)__
XI. Green Eggs and Ham – (178 Questions)
829)__ 830)__ 831)__ 832)__ 833)__ 834)__ 835)__ 836)__ 837)__ 838)__
839)__ 840)__ 841)__ 842)__ 843)__ 844)__ 845)__ 846)__ 847)__ 848)__
849)__ 850)__ 851)__ 852)__ 853)__ 854)__ 855)__ 856)__ 857)__ 858)__
859)__ 860)__ 861)__ 862)__ 863)__ 864)__ 865)__ 866)__ 867)__ 868)__
869)__ 870)__ 871)__ 872)__ 873)__ 874)__ 875)__ 876)__ 877)__ 878)__
879)__ 880)__ 881)__ 882)__ 883)__ 884)__ 885)__ 886)__ 887)__ 888)__
889)__ 890)__ 891)__ 892)__ 893)__ 894)__ 895)__ 896)__ 897)__ 898)__
899)__ 900)__ 901)__ 902)__ 903)__ 904)__ 905)__ 906)__ 907)__ 908)__
909)__ 910)__ 911)__ 912)__ 913)__ 914)__ 915)__ 916)__ 917)__ 918)__
919)__ 920)__ 921)__ 922)__ 923)__ 924)__ 925)__ 926)__ 927)__ 928)__
929)__ 930)__ 931)__ 932)__ 933)__ 934)__ 935)__ 936)__ 937)__ 938)__
939)__ 940)__ 941)__ 942)__ 943)__ 944)__ 945)__ 946)__ 947)__ 948)__
…End of the part48. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part47
Friday, September 26th, 2008 302)__ 303)__ 304)__ 305)__ 306)__ 307)__ 308)__ 309)__ 310)__ 311)__
312)__ 313)__ 314)__ 315)__ 316)__ 317)__ 318)__ 319)__ 320)__ 321)__
322)__ 323)__ 324)__ 325)__ 326)__ 327)__
IV. I Fought the Law and *I* Won – (70 Questions)
328)__ 329)__ 330)__ 331)__ 332)__ 333)__ 334)__ 335)__ 336)__ 337)__
338)__ 339)__ 340)__ 341)__ 342)__ 343)__ 344)__ 345)__ 346)__ 347)__
348)__ 349)__ 350)__ 351)__ 352)__ 353)__ 354)__ 355)__ 356)__ 357)__
358)__ 359)__ 360)__ 361)__ 362)__ 363)__ 364)__ 365)__ 366)__ 367)__
368)__ 369)__ 370)__ 371)__ 372)__ 373)__ 374)__ 375)__ 376)__ 377)__
378)__ 379)__ 380)__ 381)__ 382)__ 383)__ 384)__ 385)__ 386)__ 387)__
388)__ 389)__ 390)__ 391)__ 392)__ 393)__ 394)__ 395)__ 396)__ 397)__
V. Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Hiney Ho – (30 Questions)
398)__ 399)__ 400)__ 401)__ 402)__ 403)__ 404)__ 405)__ 406)__ 407)__
408)__ 409)__ 410)__ 411)__ 412)__ 413)__ 414)__ 415)__ 416)__ 417)__
418)__ 419)__ 420)__ 421)__ 422)__ 423)__ 424)__ 425)__ 426)__ 427)__
VI. This Looks Like a Good Place for a Stick-Up – (86 Questions)
428)__ 429)__ 430)__ 431)__ 432)__ 433)__ 434)__ 435)__ 436)__ 437)__
438)__ 439)__ 440)__ 441)__ 442)__ 443)__ 444)__ 445)__ 446)__ 447)__
448)__ 449)__ 450)__ 451)__ 452)__ 453)__ 454)__ 455)__ 456)__ 457)__
458)__ 459)__ 460)__ 461)__ 462)__ 463)__ 464)__ 465)__ 466)__ 467)__
468)__ 469)__ 470)__ 471)__ 472)__ 473)__ 474)__ 475)__ 476)__ 477)__
478)__ 479)__ 480)__ 481)__ 482)__ 483)__ 484)__ 485)__ 486)__ 487)__
488)__ 489)__ 490)__ 491)__ 492)__ 493)__ 494)__ 495)__ 496)__ 497)__
498)__ 499)__ 500)__ 501)__ 502)__ 503)__ 504)__ 505)__ 506)__ 507)__
508)__ 509)__ 510)__ 511)__ 512)__ 513)__
VII. Julia Child, Eat Yourself Out – (42 Questions)
514)__ 515)__ 516)__ 517)__ 518)__ 519)__ 520)__ 521)__ 522)__ 523)__
524)__ 525)__ 526)__ 527)__ 528)__ 529)__ 530)__ 531)__ 532)__ 533)__
534)__ 535)__ 536)__ 537)__ 538)__ 539)__ 540)__ 541)__ 542)__ 543)__
544)__ 545)__ 546)__ 547)__ 548)__ 549)__ 550)__ 551)__ 552)__ 553)__
554)__ 42)__
VIII. Something Smells Fishy Down Here – (84 Questions)
556)__ 557)__ 558)__ 559)__ 560)__ 561)__ 562)__ 563)__ 564)__ 565)__
566)__ 567)__ 568)__ 569)__ 570)__ 571)__ 572)__ 573)__ 574)__ 575)__
576)__ 577)__ 578)__ 579)__ 580)__ 581)__ 582)__ 583)__ 584)__ 585)__
…End of the part47. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part46
Thursday, September 25th, 2008TIME TO INSERT A PAGE BREAK… AND DELETE THIS STUPID MESSAGE******************
Answer sheet for the 1500 point Purity Test Final Score__________
Name_________________ Age____ Gender____ Sexual Orientation________
I. The Lamer Section – (90 Questions)
1)__ 2)__ 3)__ 4)__ 5)__ 6)__ 7)__ 8)__ 9)__ 10)__
11)__ 12)__ 13)__ 14)__ 15)__ 16)__ 17)__ 18)__ 19)__ 20)__
21)__ 22)__ 23)__ 24)__ 25)__ 26)__ 27)__ 28)__ 29)__ 30)__
31)__ 32)__ 33)__ 34)__ 35)__ 36)__ 37)__ 38)__ 39)__ 40)__
41)__ 42)__ 43)__ 44)__ 45)__ 46)__ 47)__ 48)__ 49)__ 50)__
51)__ 52)__ 53)__ 54)__ 55)__ 56)__ 57)__ 58)__ 59)__ 60)__
61)__ 62)__ 63)__ 64)__ 65)__ 66)__ 67)__ 68)__ 69)__ 70)__
71)__ 72)__ 73)__ 74)__ 75)__ 76)__ 77)__ 78)__ 79)__ 80)__
81)__ 82)__ 83)__ 84)__ 85)__ 86)__ 87)__ 88)__ 89)__ 90)__
II. Who Says You Need a Partner? OR I’m The Best I’ve Ever Had
– (91 Questions)
91)__ 92)__ 93)__ 94)__ 95)__ 96)__ 97)__ 98)__ 99)__ 100)__
101)__ 102)__ 103)__ 104)__ 105)__ 106)__ 107)__ 108)__ 109)__ 110)__
111)__ 112)__ 113)__ 114)__ 115)__ 116)__ 117)__ 118)__ 119)__ 120)__
121)__ 122)__ 123)__ 124)__ 125)__ 126)__ 127)__ 128)__ 129)__ 130)__
131)__ 132)__ 133)__ 134)__ 135)__ 136)__ 137)__ 138)__ 139)__ 140)__
141)__ 142)__ 143)__ 144)__ 145)__ 146)__ 147)__ 148)__ 149)__ 150)__
151)__ 152)__ 153)__ 154)__ 155)__ 156)__ 157)__ 158)__ 159)__ 160)__
161)__ 162)__ 163)__ 164)__ 165)__ 166)__ 167)__ 168)__ 169)__ 170)__
171)__ 172)__ 173)__ 174)__ 175)__ 176)__ 177)__ 178)__ 179)__ 180)__
181)__
III. How Low Will You Go? – (146 Questions)
182)__ 183)__ 184)__ 185)__ 186)__ 187)__ 188)__ 189)__ 190)__ 191)__
192)__ 193)__ 194)__ 195)__ 196)__ 197)__ 198)__ 199)__ 200)__ 201)__
202)__ 203)__ 204)__ 205)__ 206)__ 207)__ 208)__ 209)__ 210)__ 211)__
212)__ 213)__ 214)__ 215)__ 216)__ 217)__ 218)__ 219)__ 220)__ 221)__
222)__ 223)__ 224)__ 225)__ 226)__ 227)__ 228)__ 229)__ 230)__ 231)__
232)__ 233)__ 234)__ 235)__ 236)__ 237)__ 238)__ 239)__ 240)__ 241)__
242)__ 243)__ 244)__ 245)__ 246)__ 247)__ 248)__ 249)__ 250)__ 251)__
252)__ 253)__ 254)__ 255)__ 256)__ 257)__ 258)__ 259)__ 260)__ 261)__
262)__ 263)__ 264)__ 265)__ 266)__ 267)__ 268)__ 269)__ 270)__ 271)__
272)__ 273)__ 274)__ 275)__ 276)__ 277)__ 278)__ 279)__ 280)__ 281)__
282)__ 283)__ 284)__ 285)__ 286)__ 287)__ 288)__ 289)__ 290)__ 291)__
292)__ 293)__ 294)__ 295)__ 296)__ 297)__ 298)__ 299)__ 300)__ 301)__
…End of the part46. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part45
Wednesday, September 24th, 2008 operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by
addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities.
Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp.
Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not
disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your
physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on
carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated
picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal
constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One
size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of
non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms
which seem to be right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Net
weight before cooking. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any
mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will
not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to
sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for
direct, indirect, incidental, or consequential damages resulting from any
defect, error, or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the
Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty
for early withdrawl. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket
pays maximum rate. Your cancelled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place
stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure
each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly
higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible.
Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the
show. Limited time offer, call now to insure prompt delivery. You must be
present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary.
Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a
garment may occur. Use only in well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or
flame. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more.
Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not
include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded
for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No
alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant
package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up,
then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash.
Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification
purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. This
supersedes all previous notices.
Drive carefully; 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents.
The above is a public service announcement of this institution.
japfaff@maivx1.acs.muohio.edu and The Erotic Nightmare Revue
Peace, Pot, Microdot.
*******IF YOU’RE PUTTING THIS ON YOUR OWN WP OR SOMETHING, NOW WOULD BE A PRIME
…End of the part45. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part44
Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
We hope that you have enjoyed this test. It does not come with a warranty, nor
does it guarantee that it will get you laid or make you somehow somewhat
better in bed or the haystack. The makers of this test are not responsible for
any liabilities or damages resulting from this test, including but not limited
to paternity suits.
Disclaimer:
The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that a
person must copulate in control, and use good judgement at all times; that
partners’ conditions vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather
changes and previous use; and that dirty sheets, variations in terrain and bed
surfaces, spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed
obstacles, and many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards,
including other users and customers, exist throughout the bedroom area.
Personal managers (pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and
equipment are constantly in use and may be hazardous to those not copulating
in control. Impotence, collisions, and social diseases resulting in injury can
happen at any time, even to those copulating in control with proper sexual
equipment. Inherent risks are part of the sport and may exist within your
partner. As a condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your
partner, the user of this test agrees to copulate in control and within the
limits of his/her ability, and further acknowledges and accepts these hazards,
dangers, and risks and assumes the risk of injury or loss to person or damage
to property which might result from use of the partner’s facilities.
As a further condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your
partner, the customer understands and agrees that: (1) in the event of a
transfer of use by another or anything else in the management’s opinion is
misconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or nuisance, this service may be revoked
without refund; (2) the partner is the property of the harem and, upon
request, s/he must be presented to any authorized representative of the
pimp/spouse; (3) sexual equipment must be visibly displayed at all times when
you are in any bedroom and when approaching the bed to copulate. Your sexual
partner is not transferable; see Theft of Services, V.S.A., sections 2581 and
2582.
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Ask your doctor
or pharmacist. Do not open back panel; no user serviceable parts inside.
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is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List
each check separately by bank number. Contents may settle during shipment. Use
only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while
…End of the part44. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part43
Monday, September 22nd, 2008 1471. during an RHPS, had oral sex?
1472. during an RHPS, fucked (FUCK the back row!)?
1473. been kicked out of an RHPS?
1474. been a member of an RHPS cast?
Have you performed, for an entire show, the part of:
1475. Frank-N-Furter (a scientist)?
1476. Janet Weiss (a heroine)?
1477. Brad Majors (a hero)
1478. Riff Raff (a handyman)?
1479. Magenta (a domestic)?
1480. Columbia (a groupie)?
1481. Dr. Everett V. Scott (a rival scientist)?
1482. Rocky Horror (a creation)?
1483. Eddie (ex delivery boy)?
1484. The Criminologist (an expert)?
1485. A Transylvanian (a transylvanian)?
XVIII. Eyes on Your Own Papers, Please
(Testing – 15 Questions)
Have you:
1486. had an unauthorized crib sheet for a test?
1487. flunked an IQ test?
1488. had to study for a blood test?
1489. lied on a Purity Test to improve you score?
1490. done something with the intent to ‘improve’ your Purity Test scores or
used a Test for inspiration (using the Purity Test as a check-list)?
1491. been jealous of, or impressed by, someone else’s test scores?
1492. read a Purity Test aloud, without omitting sections or being embarrassed?
1493. taken a group purity test?
1494. taken any form of a purity test more than five times?
1495. administered a group purity test?
1496. participated in a purity test with ulterior motives?
1497. remembered something by taking a purity test?
1498. written or re-written a purity test?
1499. If you’ve done something not mentioned on this test, say it aloud and
let the group decide if you should get a point for it (maximum one point
per person).
1500. If you weren’t offended by ANYTHING on this test, give yourself a point.
—–
Warranty:
…End of the part43. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part42
Sunday, September 21st, 2008 1432. performed sexual activity with any mythical creature?
1433. inserted animals (gerbils, etc) into a female’s (including your own)
naughty bits?
1434. inserted animals into your or somebody else’s rectum?
1435. had an animal die during any of the above activities?
1436. fucked a dead animal?
1437. fucked a dinner animal (stuff that turkey, Clyde!)?
1438. tied up an animal and performed sexual acts on it?
1439. fed a live animal to a pet?
1440. been to a dog or cock fight?
1441. tortured an animal for your own pleasure?
1442. mutilated any animal for your own pleasure?
1443. eaten the animal after you performed any of the above activities?
XVII. Let there be Lips!
(The Rocky Horror Picture Show [RHPS] – 42 Questions)
Have you:
1444. seen RHPS (video or wherever)?
1445. seen RHPS in the theatre?
1446. seen RHPS more than 69 times in the theatre?
1447. more than 100 times?
1448. more than 500 times?
1449. more than 1000 times?
1450. more than 1500 times?
1451. are you Sal Piro?
1452. joined the national RHPS fan club?
1453. seen RHPS with a live cast?
1454. seen RHPS while drunk or stoned?
1455. seen RHPS while on acid?
1456. seen RHPS while on any other drug?
1457. seen The Rocky Horror Show (the musical play)?
1458. dressed in costume for an RHPS?
1459. do you know the entire movie by heart (lyrics and dialogue, without any
soundtracks playing. Basically, could you recite the movie right now
for us?)?
1460. done the Time Warp in the nude?
1461. done the Time Warp in the nude in mixed company?
1462. participated in an RHPS production?
1463. participated in an RHPS as a character of the opposite sex?
1464. participated in an RHPS as more than one character in one show?
1465. while you were participating, had “prop failure” (costume falling off
revealing more than intended)?
1466. caused someone else to have prop failure?
1467. participated in an RHPS production while stoned or drunk?
1468. participated in an RHPS production while on acid?
1469. participated in an RHPS production while on any other drug?
1470. during an RHPS, necked/petted?
…End of the part42. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part41
Saturday, September 20th, 2008 you asked them to join?
1397. been involved in a menage-a-trios?
1398. been involved in a homosexual menage-a-trois?
1399. been invited to be involved in a menage-a-trios?
1400. invited someone to join in a menage-a-trios?
1401. participated in a two (or more) in one (hands don’t count)?
1402. participated in group sex (four or more people; partners must be
exchanged)?
1403. had sex in a group (four or more people; partners not exchanged)?
1404. participated in a circle-o-fuck?
1405. participated in a homosexual circle-o-fuck?
1406. participated in a ‘69′ circle?
1407. participated in a homosexual ‘69′ circle?
1408. participated in an orgy or similar group activity (four or more people;
everybody licking and sucking and fucking everybody else)?
1409. made an invitation to join in an orgy or similar group activity?
1410. ever been involved in a gang-bang [banger or bangee (step right up,
come and get it while it's hot)]?
1411. participated in a fuck-a-thon (where the object is to see how many times
you can have sex in a set period of time)?
1412. ever performed oral sex on somebody after they had had intercourse with
somebody else (without that person washing or douching)?
1413. ever had somebody perform oral sex on you while you were having
intercourse with somebody else (pretty picture, eh?)?
1414. ever had the person you were having intercourse with perform oral sex on
you during intercourse (flexible!)?
XVI. Old MacDonald had his Farm, E-I-E-I-OHHHHHHH!
(Bestiality – 28 Questions)
Have you:
1415. flirted with animals?
1416. masturbated onto an animal?
1417. masturbated with (using the aid of) an animal?
1418. masturbated with an animal because you thought the animal enjoyed it?
1419. performed oral sex on an animal?
1420. received oral sex from an animal?
1421. attempted to receive oral sex from an animal, but failed?
1422. used in sexual activities a lab animal (mouse, gerbil, etc.)?
1423. used in sexual activities a domestic animal (dog, cat, etc.)?
1424. used in sexual activities a farm animal (cow, sheep, chicken, etc.)?
1425. used in sexual activities a wild animal (tiger, lion, buffalo, etc.)?
1426. used in sexual activities a flock of canaries?
1427. fucked a live animal?
1428. fucked a live animal more than once?
1429. fucked more than one kind of animal?
1430. fucked more than one kind of animal at the same time?
1431. used the horn of a unicorn as a dildo?
…End of the part41. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part40
Friday, September 19th, 2008 1362. pierced someone else’s nipples?
1363. pierced someone else’s other lips (or penis)?
1364. had candle wax put on your nipples?
1365. had candle wax put on any other body parts?
1366. put candle wax on someone else’s nipples?
1367. put candle wax on any other body parts of someone else?
1368. practiced flagellation?
1369. gotten any good at it?
1370. used duct tape for bondage purposes (remove slowly!)?
1371. been hit with a 2×4 for sexual purpose (it’s more fun than you can shake
a stick at)?
1372. fantasized of being tied up for erotic purposes?
1373. fantasized of tying someone up for erotic purposes?
1374. fantasized of tying someone up to show them to others?
1375. fantasized of tying someone up to have them watch?
1376. bought bondage & discipline literature?
1377. read “The Story of O”?
1378. read both volumes of “The Story of O”?
1379. seen the movie “The Story of O”?
1380. posed for B&D drawings?
1381. posed for B&D photographs?
1382. asked someone to pose for B&D drawings?
1383. asked someone to pose for B&D photographs?
1384. asked someone to pose for B&D movies?
XV. Mama Always Told Me to Share
(Group Sexual Activities – 30 Questions)
Have you:
1385. been in intimate contact with more than one nude person at a time?
1386. skinny-dipped in mixed company?
1387. participated in group masturbation (each member masturbating themselves,
a ‘circle-o-jerk’)?
1388. participated in a group masturbation contest (first to come/last to
come/most colorful/soggy cookie/whatever)?
1389. won a group masturbation contest?
1390. played any game which required the removal of clothing (strip poker,
Monopoly, chess)?
1391. deliberately lost a game which required the removal of clothing
(folding with four aces)?
1392. played a game which required you or others to perform a sexual action on
another participant?
1393. been to a Wesson (or whatever) oil party?
1394. walked in on others, unaware that they were engaged in sexual activity,
and been asked to join and did so?
1395. had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual activity and
ask to join?
1396. had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual activity and
…End of the part40. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part4
Thursday, September 18th, 2008 need is one copy of the test, and a bunch of friends. (Lots of writing
implements and paper would be useful too.) The person with the copy of the
test is the test administrator; s/he reads the questions out loud and
everybody else writes down their answers. We have no definite rules as to
whether the participants are required to divulge their answers; that is up to
the group to decide. However, being open with your answers leads to some great
conversations. But no matter what you decide, each person’s purity score
should be made common knowledge. (The person with the highest score gets to
be giggled at for the rest of his/her life.) This works great at parties and
lets everybody know who’s easy and who isn’t, so you’ll know who to go home
with. Don’t leave home without it.
On the whole, this is biased for experience and, hence, age. If you’re still
too young to qualify, well, these things take time.
Chaste makes waste. Virginity can be cured.
Remember: the conjugation is “I am erotic, You are kinky, They are perverts”
All questions in this test pertain to events that have happened to you
subsequent to your weaning and babyhood/infancy. Anything that may have
happened before that time is considered not standing and void.
—–
Definitions: (for the innocent, naive, or too busy)
Necking: the kissing or stroking of a persons head or neck, the stroking of
arms hands or back.
Petting: the above plus the caressing or fondling of other portions of
anatomy; through or underneath clothing.
Sexual activity: all of the above, plus what your puerile imagination dreams
up. Doesn’t necessarily mean penetration (but it can).
Posslq : “person of the opposite sex sharing living quarters.” Bureaucrat for
live-in lover.
Masturbation: the rubbing/feeling of your genitals. Doesn’t need to be to
orgasm. Can be through clothing.
Mutual Masturbation: You masturbating your partner and/or you being
masturbated. Not necessarily both at the same time.
—–
Scoring:
This is a yes-or-no test, so just make sure you have noticeably different
marks for yes and for no. Common ones are an X and an O, a check mark and a
smiley face, whatever. When you are finished, count up all of the “no” answers
and divide that number by 15. That is your “percentage purity.” Or, if you
have less “yes” answers than “no,” count THOSE up and subtract from 1500. Then
divide THAT number by 15. OR, just to make thing even more confusing, if you
don’t have an answer sheet (or don’t want to use one), just make those little
hash marks for “yes” answers (the ones that you make four of them and then
…End of the part4. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part39
Wednesday, September 17th, 2008 1323. more than once?
1324. tasted or drunk urine?
1325. more than once?
1326. kept unmarked biology specimens in the refrigerator?
1327. kept feces (crap) in the refrigerator (lab specimens do not count)?
1328. kept feces anywhere in your dwelling (under your bed, in your dresser)?
XIV. Don’t Worry; I was a Boy Scout
(Bondage and S&M – 56 Questions)
1329. Do you consider Bondage a way of showing that you care for another
person (it’s the ultimate in trust)?
Have you (‘voluntarily’):
1330. improvised bondage extemporaneously during sexual activity (e.g. holding
someone’s wrists over their head)?
1331. worn a collar/leash for erotic purposes?
1332. been gagged for erotic purposes?
1333. been gagged with somebody else’s underwear?
1334. been tied up for erotic purposes (ropes, scarfs, ties)?
1335. been tied up and fucked?
1336. been tied up and NOT fucked (teased)?
1337. been tied up and masturbated upon?
1338. been tied up and had to watch others?
1339. been tied up knowing you might be seen by others?
1340. been tied up with the intention of being seen by others?
1341. been tied up and shown to others, only you didn’t know this was intended?
1342. willingly had your head inserted in a toilet bowl?
1343. tied someone up for erotic purposes?
1344. tied someone up and fucked them?
1345. tied someone up and NOT fucked them?
1346. tied someone up and masturbated on them?
1347. tied someone up and had them watch?
1348. tied someone up and shown them to others?
1349. tied someone up and shown them to others, only he/she didn’t know this
was intended?
1350. been bound in chains?
1351. been bound and had someone whip you?
1352. been whipped until you bled?
1353. bound someone in chains (handcuffs, leg irons or plain chain)?
1354. bound someone and whipped them?
1355. whipped someone until they bled?
1356. had your lips pierced?
1357. had your tongue pierced?
1358. had your nipples pierced?
1359. had your other lips pierced (or penis)?
1360. pierced someone else’s lips?
1361. pierced someone else’s tongue?
…End of the part39. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure150066c part38
Tuesday, September 16th, 2008 1281. had spreadable food put on you and eaten, or licked off?
1282. used oils (baby, Wesson, etc) for a body rub?
1283. used erotic lotions (motion lotion, etc) for a body rub?
1284. used kiwis (the fruit, bird, or shoe polish – doesn’t matter) for
sexual purposes?
1285. used any food for sexual purposes?
1286. shoved food in a female’s naughty bits?
1287. shoved food up your or somebody else’s rectum?
1288. eaten the food after it was used in the above mentioned activities?
1289. used a vibrator for sexual stimulation?
1290. bought ben-wa balls, a vibrator, or other sex toy?
1291. given or received ben-wa balls, a vibrator, or other sex toy?
1292. used an artifical limb for sexual purposes?
1293. asked someone to wear a particular article of clothing not because it
was ’sexy’ but because it turned you on?
1294. worn colored underwear (other than white or pink)?
1295. worn bikini briefs?
1296. worn bikini briefs with patterns on them (tiger stripes, etc.)?
1297. worn edible underwear?
1298. eaten edible underwear off of somebody else?
1399. worn lingerie?
1300. worn leather lingerie?
1301. worn rubber lingerie?
1302. worn fishnets (complete with garter belt)?
1303. worn somebody else’s lingerie?
1304. made garments out of shaved pubic hair (mittens, sweaters, etc)?
1305. tried to figure out the words to “Louie Louie”?
1306. Been to a John Water’s film (Pink Flamingos, anything starring Divine)?
1307. more than once?
1308. seen Eraserhead?
1309. more than once?
1310. seen The Wall?
1311. more than once?
1312. seen A Clockwork Orange?
1313. more than once?
1314. thought of becoming a Veterinary because your first love died of hoof &
mouth?
1315. had sex in the presence of animals?
1316. had animals walk on you while you were having sex?
1317. thought of becoming a vegetarian because the saddest day in your life
was when your first love was sent to market?
1318. thought to make a contribution to science in similar fashion to Madame
D’Stael?
1319. urinated anywhere other than in an acceptable location or receptacle
(i.e. in a sink, fireplace, wastepaper basket, the family glove
compartment)?
1320. urinated off of a bridge or tall building?
1321. defecated anywhere other than in an acceptable location or receptacle
(i.e. in a fireplace, car seat, wastepaper basket, or salad spinner)?
1322. tasted or eaten shit?
…End of the part38. To be continued..
