shapes for masturbatory or sexual purposes?
270. masturbated using the aid of food?
271. eaten the food used in masturbation after masturbation?
272. eaten a lab dissection?
273. inserted food into yours or someone else’s anus?
274. eaten the food after it was extracted/evacuated from yours or
someone else’s anus?
275. received an enema for a purpose than that of medical?
276. used a basket, garbage can, or any other comparable sized receptacle
for target practice masturbation?
277. used a mechanical hand-holdable device in aiding or replacing
masturbation? (Vibrator, massager, Dust-Buster, vacuum cleaner,
etc.)
278. used a feather or any other tickling device for the purpose of
tickling?
279. used ice for sexual purposes?
280. used whipped cream for sexual purposes?
281. used hot/melted wax for sexual purposes?
282. put food, gravy, syrup, salad dressing, candy, peanut butter, honey
or anything else edible on your partner’s body and then eaten it?
283. used any household syrup, sandwich spreading, oil, salad dressing,
or any like substances for sexual purposes?
284. used ropes, chains, cuffs or any other such device for bondage
purposes?
285. used a whip, chain, cat-o-nine-tails, or something similar for pain?
286. worn a leather/grore suit?
287. used an inflatable doll?
288. humped an inanimate object like a pillow, (dinner) liver, hole in
the wall, sausages, bananas, etc?
289. had sex or oral sex with a dead person?
290. inserted a small animal or creature into your rectum? (Either alive
or dead.)
291. had sex, or oral sex with your (dead) dinner animal or creature?
292. attempted to have sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with a
live animal, but failed?
293. had sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with a smallish animal?
(Dogs, cats, rabbits, lab rats, gerbils, etc.)
294. had sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with a wild animal?
(Tigers, elephants, cougars, snakes, aardvarks, etc.)
295. had sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with a domesticated farm
animal? (Cow, pig, chicken, sheep, etc.)
296. mutilated any living animal or creature for your pleasures?
297. had sex with a live animal? (Any size.) [These three questions
differ from those above in that ones above measure your variation in
animal choice, and the questions down here measure what you do with
the animals.]
298. received oral sex from a live animal? (Any size.)
299. gave oral sex to a live animal? (Any size.)
300. had sex, oral sex, or (mutual) masturbation with a single type
animal more than once? (Alive or dead.)
…End of the part13. To be continued..
Archive for May, 2008
Archive-name Miscellpure-40035a part13
Saturday, May 31st, 2008Archive-name Miscellpure-40035a part12
Friday, May 30th, 2008 17
247. been a voyeur ?
248. been an exhibitionist?
_______________________________________________________________________________
This section relates to what you have or have not done. Accordingly, the
group of people we are speaking of are of both genders. In questions
where groups of people are concerned, there must be at least one
person in the group who is of the opposite gender.
8. Group Sexual Relations
Have you ever done any of the following:
249. listened to dirty jokes in mixed company?
250. told dirty jokes in mixed company?
251. discussed masturbation? (Bringing up the topic of masturbation
during Purity Testing does not cut it as discussed masturbation.)
252. played a game in which it may require you or others to disrobe
themselves?
253. played a game in which it may require you or others to perform an
action on another participant?
254. been in intimate contact with more than one person at the same time
while all of you were nude?
255. had sex with more than 10 people?
256. had sex with more than 1 person in a 24 hour period?
257. had sex with both genders in a 24 hour period?
18
258. been in a bisexual/heterosexual menage-a-trois ?
259. had sex or oral sex with a person and his/her parent?
260. had sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, necking, or petting with a
person and his/her sibling?
261. been involved in a two (or more) in one?
262. been involved in a gang bang? (Step right up; come and get it while
it’s hot.)
263. been in a circle of fuck?
264. been in a 69 circle?
265. been to a (cooking, baby, Wesson) oil party?
266. participated in a heterosexual orgy or been involved in group sex?
(Four people or more; partners must be exchanged.)
267. participated in a bisexual orgy or group sex? (Four people or more;
partners must be exchanged.)
19
268. participated in a fuck-a-thon ? (Where the object is to see how
many times you can do it in the certain amount of time.)
_______________________________________________________________________________
This section measures your kinkiness. Therefore, the questions apply to
both actions and events occurring while you were alone as well as
when you were with someone else.
9. Extracurricular, deviant conduct
9.1. Non sentient objects
Have you ever done any of the following:
tm
269. used a bowling pin, Coke bottle, or something along those general
…End of the part12. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure-40035a part11
Thursday, May 29th, 2008 219. had sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation with more than 10 people?
220. stroked or fondled the clothed legs of someone?
221. stroked or fondled the bare legs of someone?
222. stroked or fondled the clothed chest/torso region of someone?
223. stroked or fondled the bare chest/torso region of someone?
224. stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled the clothed genitals of
someone else?
225. stroked, fondled, or otherwise handled the bare genitals of someone
else?
226. been in a menage-a-trois of people of the same sex?
_______________________________________________________________________________
For any of the questions in this section, a yes answer is in order if it
is something that you do as an alternative to other sexual
gratifications or as an aid and/or in conjunction with other means
of sexual gratification, or in other words, have you done it in a
serious basis? Trying it a few times to see what it’s like does not
count.
7. Alternate Choices
Do any of the following apply:
227. been decidedly heterosexual?
228. been decidedly homosexual?
229. been decidedly bisexual?
6
230. practiced bestiality ?
231. practiced transvesticism?
7
232. practiced sadism ?
8
233. practiced masochism ?
234. practiced bondage?
235. practiced domination?
236. practiced submission?
9
237. practiced sodomy ?
10
238. practiced cocrophilia ?
11
239. practiced frotteurism ?
12
240. practiced klismaphilia ?
13
241. practiced necrophilia ?
14
242. practice mysophilia ?
15
243. practice scoptophilia ?
16
244. practiced urophilia ?
245. owned an underwear collection of underwears not belonging to you?
246. been a foot fetishist to any degree?
…End of the part11. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure-40035a part10
Wednesday, May 28th, 2008 190. done sixty-nine ?
191. performed mutual masturbation?
192. had sex? (No need for orgasm; penetration counts.)
193. had sex on the first date?
194. had sex without the use of birth control devices? (Rhythm, prayer
and hope methods do not count.)
195. had sex with a virgin? (Not yourself.)
196. had sex with a religious officiary. (Priest, nun, mother-superior,
cardinal, pope, etc.)
_______________________________________________________________________________
This section of the test deals with whether you have done things with
people whom you may not be altogether comfortable, therefore in this
section of the test, if you are mostly a:
– heterosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by
the words someone or partner, is to be someone of your own
gender.
– homosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the
words someone or partner, is someone of the opposite gender.
– 50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often
referred to by the words someone or partner, is to be someone
of your own gender.
6. Non Primary Choice Relations
Have you ever done any of the following:
197. held hands or otherwise displayed public affection?
198. kissed someone on the lips?
199. french kissed someone?
200. necked?
201. petted?
202. received manual sex?
203. given manual sex?
204. received oral sex?
205. given oral sex
206. had sex?
207. had anal sex? (The use of fingers or any phallic objects in this
case would also count.)
208. done 69?
209. propositioned someone for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation?
210. yielded willingly to a proposition from someone for sex, oral sex,
or mutual masturbation?
211. been a participant in a who’s-physically-better-equipped
verification contest? (Contestants must be of same gender;
spectators, judges, umpires, and verifiers may be of different
gender.)
212. gave money or favors for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation?
213. received money or favors for sex, oral sex, or mutual masturbation?
214. fondled someone who was asleep?
215. attempted to seduce someone?
216. allowed yourself to be seduced?
217. had an orgasm while petting?
218. gave your partner an orgasm while petting?
…End of the part10. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure-40035a
Monday, May 26th, 2008 Archive-author:
Archive-title: Unisex, Omnisex Purity Test 400
_______________________________________________________________________________
THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL
P U R I T Y T E S T
_______________________________________________________________________________
Version 3.5A (400)
Final Release
13-Apr-1985
_______________________________________________________________________________
Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with
going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love. Murphy’s law on sex:
Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Chaste makes waste.
Virginity can be cured.
This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced Research
Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics Laboratory.
The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted
as representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the
Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be
interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed
any of the actions contained herein.
_______________________________________________________________________________
N O T I C E
Disclaimer of Liability
The user of this test acknowledges, understands, and agrees that sex is a
hazardous sport; that a person must copulate in control, and use good judgement
at all times; that their partner’s condition vary constantly and are greatly
affected by weather changes and previous use, that dirty sheets, variations in
terrain and bed surfaces, spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and
debris, clothed obstacles, and many other natural and man-made obstacles and
hazards, including other users and customers, exist throughout the bedroom
area. Personal managers (pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and
equipment are constantly in use and may be hazardous to customers not
copulating in control. Impotence, collisions, and social diseases resulting in
injury can happen at any time, even to customers copulating in control with
proper sexual equipment. Inherent and other risks are part of the sport and
exist in your partner. As a condition of being permitted to use the facilities
of your sex object, the user of the partner agrees to copulate in control and
within the limits of his/her ability and further acknowledges and accepts these
hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes the risk of injury or loss to person or
damage to property which might result from the customer’s use of the partner’s
facilities.
As a further condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your
partner, the customer understands and agrees (1) that in the event of a
transfer of use by another or anything else in the management’s opinion is
misconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or nuisance, this service may be revoked
without refund; (2) that the partner is the property of the harem and, upon
…End of the part1. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure-100400 part2
Sunday, May 25th, 2008 33. Drawn blood while making out?
34. Bled while making out?
35. Spent the night in a man’s bed?
36. Spent the night in a woman’s bed?
37. Been caught during sexual activity by parents (yours or your partner’s)?
38. Falsely promised something for sexual purposes?
39. Gotten someone drunk for sexual purposes?
40. Been propositioned by a man?
41. Accepted?
42. Been propositioned by a woman?
43. Accepted?
44. Watched an X-rated movie?
45. Watched other people having sex?
46. Had sex?
47. Given/gotten cunnilingus during the woman’s period?
48. Had sex during the woman’s period?
49. Had anal sex?
50. Picked someone up only for sexual purposes?
51. Used the phrase “I love you” falsely to entice someone to bed?
52. Acted or dressed differently than usual to seduce someone?
53. Bought birth control?
54. Put a condom on someone else?
55. Put a diaphram or other contraceptive in someone else?
II.
Have you:
56. Had sex while drunk or high?
57. Had sex with more than 1 person since you began having sex?
58. Had sex with more than 10 people since you began having sex?
59. Had sex with more than 1 person at a time?
60. Had sex with more than 1 person in a 24 hour period?
61. Had sex with a virgin?
62. Had sex with someone younger than 15?
63. Had sex with someone older than 25?
64. Had sex with someone whose last name you didn’t know?
65. Had sex with other people in the house/area (dorms included)?
66. Had sex with other people watching?
67. Had sex in anything other than the missionary position?
68. Had sex more than 3 times in one night/day?
69. ‘d?
70. Had a man come in your mouth?
71. Had sex in a car?
72. Had sex in an airplane?
73. Had sex in an elevator?
74. Had sex in your own house?
75. Had sex in a public place?
76. Had sex under 3 feet of water?
77. Had sex on the first date?
78. Had sex with most of your clothes on?
79. Had sex without birth control? (you dumbfuck!)
80. Had sex to get something (a job, drugs, etc)?
81. Had sex while tied down? (The Amy Baxter ACK! Contest Winning Question)
82. Hired someone for sex?
83. Forced someone to have sex?
84. Been forced to have sex?
85. Participated in S & M?
86. Engaged in transvesticism?
87. Engaged in “Golden Showers”?
88. Thought you or your partner was pregnant?
89. Had an abortion (or has your partner)?
90. Gotten VD?
III.
Have you ever performed sexual acts:
91. While being filmed or photographed?
92. With someone more than 5 years younger than you?
93. With someone more than 10 years older than you?
94. With someone of your own sex?
95. With a relative?
96. With an animal?
97. With an inanimate object?
98. With a human vegetable?
99. With a retarded person?
100. With a dead person? (Anyone answering YES to this question deserves an
automatic ZERO for their score.)
–
Archive-name Miscellpure-100400
Saturday, May 24th, 2008 Archive-author:
Archive-title: Purity Test – 100 Question
The Purity Test
Answer YES or NO to the following 100 questions. At the end of the test,
total up the number of NO answers. This is your score. The higher the score,
the ‘purer’ you are.
All questions pertain to men and women not related to you, unless otherwise
specified.
I.
Have you ever:
1. Had a cigarette?
2. Had alcohol?
3. Tried pot or hash?
4. Tried stronger drugs (coke, acid, shrooms, etc)?
5. Thrown up from alcohol?
6. Kissed a woman?
7. Kissed a man?
8 French kissed a man?
9. French kissed a woman?
10. Put your tongue in someone’s ear?
11. Had someone put their tongue in your ear?
12. Fondled a woman’s breast, or had your breast fondled?
13. Put your mouth on a woman’s breast, or had it done to you?
14. Seen a nude man?
15. Seen a nude woman?
16. Had telephone sex?
17. Undressed a man sexually?
18. Undressed a woman sexually?
19. Been sexually undressed?
20. Fondled a man’s genitals?
21. Fondled a woman’s genitals?
22. Had an orgasm?
23. Climaxed from a partner’s fondling?
24. Brought a partner to climax thru fondling?
25. Performed fellatio?
26. Performed cunnilingus?
27. Climaxed from oral sex?
28. Brought a partner to climax thru oral sex?
29. “Finger-fucked”?
30. “Dry fucked” (with all your clothes on)?
31. Bathed or showered with a man?
32. Bathed or showered with a woman?
…End of the part1. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure-001501 part4
Friday, May 23rd, 2008 – homosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to by the
word “someone” or “partner”, is to be someone of
YOUR OWN gender.
– 50-50 confirmed bisexual, then your partner in deed, often
referred to by the word “someone” or “partner”, is to
be someone of the OPPOSITE gender.
– asexual, then go take another test; we don’t need your dull type
around HERE!
1. Are you pure?
_______________________________________________________________________________
I. Scoring
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of a sheet of paper containing
one itty-bitty answer to the Purity Test (Ooooooh!). Sworn to excellence of
workmanship, we now give you directions on how to calculate your Purity score.
There are several methods; the calculator method works best. Also there is the
a la mainframe method. (A DECsystem-2060 works great as a PC.)
Scoring method: Count “yes” answers.
Multiply the result by 100.
The result is your percentage purity.
The higher the number, the more pure you are; in the same vein, the lower the
score, the more of a sleaze-bag you are.
(Kinda cut-and-dry, black-and-white, eh?)
For your reference, we include calculator directions:
For people with real calculators (HP):
<# of YES answers> [ENTER] 100 *
For people with other (dinky) calculators:
<# of YES answers> * 100 =
_______________________________________________________________________________
II. Warranty Information
We hope that you have enjoyed this test. It does not come with a
warranty, nor does it guarantee that it will get you laid or make you somehow
somewhat better in bed or the haystack.
The makers of this test are not responsible for any liabilities or
damages resulting from this test, including but not limited to paternity suits.
Ask your doctor or pharmacist.
Do not open back panel; no user serviceable parts inside.
Propagate (this test) at will, even without the written permission of
the publisher; just DON’T edit or change it. In reproducing this test, the
authors of this test may exercise droit de seigneur over you, your immediate
family, or fiance(e). You may or may not have additional rights which may vary
from state to state (i.e. inebriated, ecstacy).
(Editor’s Note: Yeah, right.)
Not recommended for children under twelve. Parental guidance
discouraged and frowned upon. Pencils, additional paper, and batteries not
included. Some assembly may be required. Does not come with any other
figures.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Drive carefully; 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents.
The above is a public service announcement of this institution.
EDITOR’S FINAL NOTE: This ‘unofficial’ version of the purity test was designed
with one thought in mind: that PEOPLE HAVE BETTER THINGS
TO DO THAN SIT AROUND AND ASK ABSURD NAUGHTY QUESTIONS! I
mean, it’s one thing to ask “Have you ever done it?” but
it’s another thing to ask “Have you ever done it while
piloting an aircraft of over 30,000 pounds unladen net
weight over a foreign country in the late summer while
reading a copy of ‘Wuthering Heights’ and being almost
(but not quite) totally naked?” and to ask about every
other bloody state in between!! 400 questions was a
daunting task, but 500 questions? EYUUGH! Not to mention
that after plowing through the 500-question test one
time, almost every person we’ve talked to has had their
Purity score go up! So we’ve taken it upon ourselves to
alleviate the burden of taking a long-winded, inaccurate
examination by reducing it to a quick quiz of personal
beliefs; if YOU think you’ve done enough to be impure,
GO FOR IT! Far be it for US to tell you how pure you
are! It’s all up to you. And isn’t that what it’s all
about, anyway?
************> Brought to you by: Patrick G. Salsbury, Super Genius <***********
************> Joseph V. Prisco, aka Pope Zaphod I of the 80 columns <***********
************> and your local True Value Hardware dealer… <***********
Archive-name Miscellpure-001501 part3
Thursday, May 22nd, 2008 Buffalo. Ludicrously long 500-question version trimmed to
1 question.
Version 5.01 (1) on 11-September-1989: Final proofread and edit of 1 question
version and preparation for release to the world.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Instructions for Use:
This is a fairly short test consisting of one question (quite time consuming).
There are many ways of going about taking this test. You can, of course, as
your right, guaranteed by the Constitution, be anti-social and sequester
yourself in your room and take this test all by yourself; however, we feel that
the funnest way to utilize this test is to hold a Purity Test Party. All you
need is one copy of the test, and a bunch of friends. (Lots of writing
implements and paper would be useful too.) The person with the copy of the
test is the test administrator; s/he reads the question out loud and
everybody else writes down their answer. We have no definite rules as to
whether the participants are required to divulge their answer; that is up to
the group to decide. However, each person’s purity score should be made common
knowledge. (The person with the highest score gets to be giggled at for the
rest of his/her life.) This works great at parties and lets everybody know
who’s easy and who isn’t, so you’ll know who to go home with. Don’t leave home
without it.
Definitions
All questions in this test pertain to events that have happened to you
subsequent to your weaning and babyhood/infancy. Anything that may have
happened before that time is considered not standing and void.
The term mutual masturbation refers to someone masturbating you AND/OR you
masturbating someone else, not exclusively both at the same time.
We would also like to define having sex in the homosexual case; homosexual sex
has occurred when both partners are of the same sex and one of the partners has
an orgasm while there is some contact between the genitals of both partners.
We would now like to bring to your attention that there is no passing nor
failing score. Therefore, one really shouldn’t worry too much about getting a
high score… even if you do get giggled at for the rest of your life.
— ALL TECHNICALITIES COUNT —
(Editor’s Note: These rules have been slightly modified, but have maintained
their original flavor, including embarrassing references to
masturbation and giggling.)
_______________________________________________________________________________
Section 1: The Big Question. 1 Question.
For this section, if you are mostly a:
– heterosexual, then your partner in deed, often referred to
by the word “someone” or “partner”, is to be someone
of the OPPOSITE gender.
…End of the part3. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure-001501 part2
Wednesday, May 21st, 2008 As a further condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your
partner, the customer understands and agrees that: (1) in the event of a
transfer of use by another or anything else in the management’s opinion is
misconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or nuisance, this service may be revoked
s/he must be presented to any authorized representative of the pimp/spouse; (3)
sexual equipment must be visibly displayed at all times when you are in any
bedroom and when approaching the bed to copulate. Your sexual partner is not
transferable; see Theft of Services, V.S.A., sections 2581 and 2582.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Purity Test Genesis/History:
Version 1 (100) Created at MIT’s Baker House. Two parallel versions; one for
male, and one for female. Not much is known about this
version. It was ported to CMU by ps in 1982.
Version 2 (247) Spring 1983 – CMU/jb, pd, kr, ps, ts, mt, et al.
Expanded to 247 questions. This marked the beginning of
the unisex versions. The story goes that they intended it to be
250 questions, but got tired that night and said “we’ll think
of three more tomorrow”, and tomorrow never got there.
Version 3.3C.1 (400) on 05-Dec-1984
First formal release general of this test, version 3.xx. All
former versions were short-lived and tended to be bug-ridden.
Does not discriminate against gays or bi’s. Good correspondence
of scores (especially in the higher score ranges) between this
version and version 2. Added Genesis/History section.
Version 3.4 (400) on 29-Jan-1985
Internal version; never released. Source code accidentally
destroyed, much to the consternation of one of the authors.
Cleaned up many bugs. Added sections: Disclaimer of Liability,
Instructions for Use, Scoring, and Warranty Information.
Version 3.5 (400) on 10-Apr-1985
Rebuilt from the 3.3C.1 source and the 3.4 (only surviving
copy) Xerox X9700 laser printer hardcopy. Cleaned up same bugs
in 3.4; wiped out a duplicate question. Added in verbose
history section.
Version 3.5A (400) on 13-Apr-1985: CMU/da, fa, tc, no, dt, sv, rz, et al
Found that we had 431 questions instead of 400.
Version 3.5B (400) on 18-Mar-1986: Yale (Pierson College)/ as
Intermediate release, with footnotes integrated into main body
of text and some grammatical errors cleaned up. Begun in
Fall, 1985; finished in April for the benefit of a friend at
MIT (where it all began), who hadn’t seen any versions except
the antique Version 1.
Version 3.5C (400) on 17-Jan-1988: Yale (Pierson College)/mmd (CLARINET@YALEVM)
Grammatical errors corrected. Introduction and history
cleaned up.
Version 4.0 (500) on 23-April-1988: Yale (Silliman College)/dfc, ad, dcg, mlm,
and Dartmouth (Alpha Theta)/alb. Original 400-question version
expanded to 500 questions.
Version 5.0 (1) on 19-June-1989: SUNY College at Oswego and SUNY University at
…End of the part2. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpure-001501
Tuesday, May 20th, 2008 Archive-author:
Archive-title: Purity Test – 1 Question
================================================================================
THE UNISEX, OMNISEXUAL
P U R I T Y T E S T
_______________________________________________________________________________
Version 5.01 (1)
Final Release
11-September-1989
_______________________________________________________________________________
Public domain; no copyright. All rights wronged, all wrongs reversed. Up with
going down. The risen flesh commands: let there be love. Murphy’s law on
sex: Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics. Chaste makes
waste. Virginity can be cured.
This document was not sponsored by the Department of Defense Advanced Research
Projects Agency, and was not monitored by the Air Force Avionics Laboratory.
The views and conclusions contained in this document should not be interpreted
as representing the official policies, either expressed or implied, of the
Defense Advanced Projects Agency or the US Government. Neither should it be
interpreted nor inferred that the authors/contributors have actually performed
any of the actions contained herein.
_______________________________________________________________________________
Disclaimer of Liability
The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that a person
must copulate in control, and use good judgement at all times; that partners’
conditions vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather changes and
previous use; and that dirty sheets, variations in terrain and bed surfaces,
spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed obstacles, and
many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users
and customers, exist throughout the bedroom area. Personal managers
(pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and equipment are constantly in
use and may be hazardous to those not copulating in control. Impotence,
collisions, and social diseases resulting in injury can happen at any time,
even to those copulating in control with proper sexual equipment. Inherent
risks are part of the sport and may exist within your partner. As a condition
of being permitted to use the facilities of your partner, the user of this test
agrees to copulate in control and within the limits of his/her ability, and
further acknowledges and accepts these hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes
the risk of injury or loss to person or damage to property which might result
from use of the partner’s facilities.
…End of the part1. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpsyeatgtxt part4
Monday, May 19th, 2008 If you’re doing this as foreplay, then shaving will take you about
1/2 hour, maybe a little more. Trimming will take about 20 minutes,
including the clean up of her cut hair. Once this is done, and she’s
hopefully pulled you into the bed, demanding her “reward” for the night,
take your time to let her really experience the new sensations. Prolong
it, and make her writhe about in estascy at the new feelings.
Now a few words for the guys. First, if you’re bearded or have any
sort of facial hair, be sure to shave before going down on her shaved
pussy. This is especially true if you’re clean shaven, but have ANY
stubble, even your nightly five o’clock shadow. This feels like sandpaper
to her thighs and her very sensitive sexual areas. If you can’t part
with your beard or mustache, then don’t expect her to let you near her,
at least after that first time!
Okay, now you’ve had your way, give her what she wants. If you’ve
been listening, you’ve picked up on the idea of doing all of this with
the attitude of making her pleasure greater, for HER enjoyment. Oh, sure,
you’ll get a lot out of this too, but that’s not the point now is it?
Once you’ve finally begun tounging her clit and pussy, remember you have
two of the most versatile instruments ever invented — your hands. And
you have ten fingers with which to give her pleasure. Simplicity is to
use one or two fingers and slowly enter her with them. Now instead of
simply using them like a shaft that pumps in and out, try bending them.
Up, down, sideways. See what she likes. As she becomes aroused, try to
spread them against her muscular ring inside. You might be surprised at
how strong these muscles are. Spread your fingers, and move in and out.
Vary the strength you use to spread them, and try to sense when her
muscles contract quickly and strongly against your fingers. This is a
sure indication that she likes something you did.
Consider that men and women’s sexual organs have similar origins.
The same nerves that connect her clit to her brain, also connect your
cock to your brain. In fact, your cock can be seen as a very long clit,
as they both are attached to the body in the same areas. When you
masturbate, the same muscles you use to flex your cock upwards are the
same ones she contracts to squeeze your fingers (or cock) inside her
pussy.
A last few words on the oral sensations you can give her. The area
below her vaginal entrance and her anus is often overlooked. This is a
shame, as it is a very sensitive area. Use your tounge firmly here, and
flick it rapidly either up and down, or side to side. If you desire, you
can run your tounge around the edge of her anus, which will also be
sensitive. This is, of course, best done after a bath or shower, when
she is fresh and clean. This may sound practical, but I offer it up for
another reason. There is a psycological fear we all have of offending
someone with bodily odors. Women won’t feel “sensual” or “desireable” if
they’re holding their breath, worried that you’ll be turned off by their
bodily odors.
Now, if you’ve read this far, you’ve gotten the idea that you can
give your lady lots of pleasure, and you may be wondering “hey! What
about ME?!” Well, what about you? If you have done things properly,
you’ve brought your woman to the verge of orgasm, excited every nerve in
her body, and shown her that you LIKE making her sexy and sensual.
Decision time. Do you take her over the edge and let her come? Or, do you
now ask this passionate woman to climb on and ride you so you both can
come? Dither, dither, dither. As a suggestion I would say that at
first, you give her a nice orgasm. If she is multi-orgasmic so much the
better, keep her going for several. Then, hold her and caress her gently
while she relaxes and drifts, secure in your arms, being loved by her
loving man. She’ll love you for it. Other times however, you may want
to pause, with her in a very sexual frame of mind, and let her take her
turn at you. This allows her to drive you to the same plateau of sexual
cravings as you did to her, and then you both can get crazy with each
other. The secret here is DON’T always do the same thing. Keep her
guessing and responding to the sensations you are giving her. Likely,
you’ll have some wonderful sex, and even better, someone who appreciates
you for it.
Good luck, and happy licking!
–
Archive-name Miscellpsyeatgtxt part3
Sunday, May 18th, 2008you’ll have to be observant of her reactions.
Shaved versus “natural” looks. This is a matter of taste (pun
intended). Pussies shaved bare are very sensitive and sensual, especially
once you begin to get things wet with your tounge. You can also trim her
bush for her, which by the way, is a great turn on for her, and shows her
how delicate and gentle you can be. If you can’t convince her to shave
it all off, try buying her a swimsuit that is very narrowly cut down the
front. She’ll likely shave so she can wear the suit. If neither of you
wants her shaved bare, make it a part of your foreplay to keep her bush
trimmed neatly.
Trimming her bush is best done with a pair of small scissors with
the points rounded (or covered with adhesive tape). Using a comb, comb
through her hair gently to remove tangles first. Now, with a towel under
her, you can trim for length. Start out long, so that you don’t leave her
bush a mass of short, bristly stubble that will irriate. This is
espcially important between her legs. If her hair curls next to her
labia, cut the hair about half way through the curl, so that it doesn’t
stick straight out. If you want to shape her bush, say into a heart,
trim the outline first, before you cut the length. That way, you won’t
thin too much hair out and leave bare or thin spots.
If you are going to shave her, be sure to have a good CLEAN safety
razor, a NEW blade (less irritation and fewer nicks), soap or shave
cream, some tissue paper (for any minor nicks), and skin cream or oil for
afterwards. Shaving her pussy will be a job much like shaving your own
face, except that you’ll be working in a far more sensitive area and more
difficult too.
Begin by trimming her bush short, then laying a warm washcloth on
her while you prepare the soap. Leave her bush damp and lather, being
sure that you clean off her slit and clit so you can protect them later.
Keep the skin taut, and with a warm, wet razor, made light, even strokes.
Use your own finger to protect any potentially sensitive area from being
nicked. If you should see a cut, put a small piece of dry tissue on it
to let it stop bleeding and then continue shaving her. Holding her legs
wide, one at a time will help. Once you have shaved her mons, and around
her vaginal slit, complete the job by carefully shaving around her anus
too. All done? Good, now take the skin oil or cream (which you should
have set in some warm water), and massage that into her freshly shaved
skin.
Either way, trimming or shaving her will normally have her nerves
just slightly on edge, and the touch of your hands will cause her to
become aroused. Often, just trimming her bush will cause her to produce a
thick, white cream as you comb, tease, and trim around her most sensitive
areas. And, she can seldom resist keeping her hands from exploring your
handiwork. Let her see and feel it, and tell her she is beautiful.
…End of the part3. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpsyeatgtxt part2
Saturday, May 17th, 2008
Remember that she is laying back and relaxing, her eyes closed, and
her concentration on what you’re doing (or at least she SHOULD be
concentrating on what you’re doing). The secret is to establish a
pattern that says “I’m headed for your pussy, dear.” and then, just as
she expects you to eat her, a light kiss on her mons or pubic hair, then
you start all over again, working your way down to her pussy again from
somewhere else.
If you do these things correctly, she’ll beg you to stop teasing
her, but don’t let that bother you. Tease her a little more, until she
insists that you stop fooling around. At this point, her whole body
should be very sensitive, every nerve alive and waiting for your touch.
Now comes the moment of truth. Lean forward and, pause. Pause with
your mouth less than an inch away. If you’re like most people, your
breath will be like a warm caress across her damp, sensitive skin. Let
her feel it. Then, as lightly as you can, draw your tounge up between her
legs, perhaps alonside her labia until you reach the top of her slit.
Follow the contours, all the way down to her entrance. Do it twice, or
three times, but do it slowly and watch her reactions. Do her hips sway
or rock to try to make you touch some other part of her? Does her
breathing change? Does she moan or sigh? Those places that make her react
are special places that you should remember.
For you guys who failed anatomy class, slide your tounge from the
bottom of her (hopefully now very wet) slit, to the top. This will serve
two very useful functions. First, if her labia (pussy lips for those who
don’t know), haven’t become swollen and open, your passing tounge will
part them, and excite her at the same time. Secondly, as you rise up,
just as you find the top of her slit, you’ll find a small button of
flesh. This is her clitoris and it is as sensitive as the head of your
cock.
Now, if you’ve ever had a woman who licks and sucks the head of your
cock for too long, first give me her phone number, and second remember
that feeling of being “raw”? If you concentrate on her clit for too
long, that’s the feeling she’ll get. It is important to watch her
reaction as you lick, so you can judge how much pressure to apply. Start
lightly at first, and vary the speed, motion and pressure. Start with
circling motions, then change to up and down flicks. Pause and decend
down her pussy and return a few seconds later and start again. Don’t keep
up the same pattern so that it is predictable for too long, as this will
numb her clit or bore her, and these are the last things we want to do.
Best of all, if you can, have her masturbate for you. You should
observe what her fingers do, and what sort of motions she likes. This
will give you an idea. Some women are shy about this and are reluctant.
Be patient and if tell her if she wants you to give her terrific
pleasure, it would help you to know what she likes. Other than that,
…End of the part2. To be continued..
Archive-name Miscellpsyeatgtxt
Friday, May 16th, 2008 Archive-author: Pussy Barber
Archive-title: Guide to Eating Pussy
Dedicated to the Ladies
I can’t help it. I love eating a girl’s pussy. If the lady in
question has a nice pussy, I’ll lick her until my jaws ache and my tounge
is ready to fall off. I just love it.
Why? Because, I enjoy watching her reactions while I explore her
most sensitive areas. Eating pussy well involves more than just your
tounge and her pussy too. It involves the rest of her, and a certain
attitude you project to your woman. The attitude is simple, so we’ll
tackle that first.
Some guys have the attitude that once she’s wet, she’s ready, and
they move on to intercourse. This misses the point. The point isn’t to
“get her ready”, but rather, to give her pleasure. If you have an
attitude that says to a woman “I want to make you feel good”, she’ll
enjoy it more, and what you spend in time and effort on her, she’ll
return to you later.
This brings us to “how do I do it?” Simple. Do anything that comes
to mind, but without hurrying. Take your time and tease. Don’t rush her
to an orgasm. If you’ve already buried your tounge between her legs,
then begin thinking about other parts of your bodies. Use your hands.
While you’re there, your hands can caress her thighs, calves, feet (if
she’s not ticklish), or her stomach, sides, belly, etc. If you have long
hair, lightly draw it over some sensitive area, such as her inner thighs.
The actual act usually concentrates on her vagina and clitoris. Now,
if you’re paying attention to her reactions, you’ll notice that constant
clitoral licking won’t get the job done. Spend anywhere from 15 to 45
seconds on her clit, then move around. Circle the clit with your tounge
tip, lightly, and then follow the folds of her labia down to her
entrance. Spend some time using your lips to play with her pussy-lips,
and then work your way back to her clit. This will allow you to taste
her, and coat your tounge with her wonderfully slippery juices, which
aids in creating the sensations on her clit.
Personally, I’ve found the area between the outer folds of her labia
and the tops of her thighs to be incredibly sensitive. This little “no-
man’s-land” area is often overlooked. Before diving in, slowly and gently
kiss and lick this area, teasing her by getting closer and closer on one
side, and just when she expects you to “go for it”, start all over on the
other side. This same idea can be prolonged even more by starting with
her inner thighs, just above her knees and working your way up, nipping
her skin with your lips lightly as you alternate from thigh to thigh.
…End of the part1. To be continued..
