Archive for August, 2007

Archive-name Miscellbunchtxt

Sunday, August 19th, 2007

Archive-title: A Bunch of different stories

place: the beach, then a house on the beach
time: evening turning into night, the moon is out
tense: first person
people: the person speaking and a girl name sue
situation: sue is a virgin, and she and speaker are in love

It is a cool spring evening..and i am walking down a beach near my home, i
am holding sue’s hand, and her head is resting on my shoulder. I am sure we mu
st look like siemese twins to the people who pass us by. But neither of us rea
lly care…Inside i feel a warmt, that is centered at my solar plexus and radia
tes through out my body. I really love sue, I have loved her from the first mo
nent i set eyes on her. I remember that first time, i spent hours just staring
into her eyes. As we walk on the beach i slowly massage sue’s hand with the f
ingers of my hand. I suddenly stop, and slowly lift her chin up with my hand,
we look into each others eyes, a message that only our hearts shall ever know,
passes between us. Our kiss is slow and gentle, and very deep..her mouths tast
es very sweet. we consume each other in our hunger. i remove my lips from her
and bend my head a little lower, and my lips leave a wet silken trail across h
er chin and down her throat. a deep moan escapes sues lips. in the mean time,
our arms have not been idle, and we are entwined within each others arms. our
s arms are slowly caressing each others body. We stop for a moment so that i c
an spred the blanket i carry over my shoulder on the sand, so that we can have
something to lie on. I lift sue off her feet and slowly lower her onto the bla
nket. i then rest on my elbows above her, i take her upper lip in mine, and sl
owly caress it with my tongue and lips, then i decide to head higher, i lick a
trail across her nose, at which point she giggles, and i smile, then higher sti
ll to her forehead, which i gentlely kiss, then my tongues moves all across her
face, her eyes, her cheeks, her ears, her moans of pleasure grow louder and lo
uder. Then i am back at her lips again. After a while she moves down my neck
and her teeth are suddenly at my throat, which i bare to her, showing her my tr
ust. she gentlely nips my throat, and caresses it with her tongue and lips, th
e sensation is exquisite and it is now my turn to moan. i slowly untie her bat
hing suit top, with one hand while i balance over her with the other, her brea
st are not large, but they are full and they do not sag. i take her nipples in
my mouth and slowly rotate them back and forth with my lips and my teeth. sue
’s moans grow louder and louder. i take her nipple out of my mouth and slowly
caress it with my tongue. I then switch to the next nipple and begin all over
again. after a while i use my mouth to suck a trail down sue’s stomach, my ton
gue takes a short stop in her belly buttom, and again i make her giggle, I the
n move on. I reach the top of her bathing suit bottom. I take it between my t
eeth, and pull it half way down her legs. My mouth then goes back up her legs
to her pubic mound, i rub my nose and my face in the hair there, taking in the
rich musky scent. i then move my lips to the top of her opening, i gentlely li
ck the little nib of flesh that is there, sue’s moans are ever increasing. I t
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellbubbletxt

Friday, August 17th, 2007

Archive-title: Bubble’s Guide to Bay Area Massage Parlors

Bubbles will add to this as she continues “researching”. Much of her info
is from customers and other girls (2nd hand). For legal reasons,
please consider the following as fiction, for entertainment purposes
only, and any resemblances to persons either living or dead is
a figment of your perverted, deranged, and crudely warped imagination.

Last updated 1/07/89

Well, those anal retentives in Santa Cruz have done it again. I
went down there looking for work, and not a single massage parlor
is still open! To add insult to injury, “Elan,” my favorite place,
is now a Gospel Bookstore. Sheeeeee-it! Oasis has its sign painted
over, there’s a padlock on the Stairkase and every phone booth I
went to had the “massage” page razored out of the yellow pages.
Sounds like someone wanted to get re-elected Sheriff real bad.


BANGKOK MASSAGE, Larkin and Eddy, San Francisco is a pretty
good place to get laid. The massage is only $30, and the
girls will go all the way for another $50. They’ll even put the
whole thing on your bank card. Despite the name, most of the
girls are Vietnamese or Chinese. Rooms have private baths, and
if you’re lucky the girl will bathe you before and after the
massage. Ask for a “hard” massage, and you will get a nice
legitimate rub, which turns erotic and light-touch after about
15 minutes.
SINGAPORE SPRINGS, O’Farrell street, San Francisco. This is one
block uphill and one block East of Bangkok. Here the girls are
all Vietnamese, massage is $30, rooms all have private baths,
and “tips” are very affordable. A nude hand job can be as low
as $30. There are some very pretty young girls here, but also a couple
of old tarts. Again, a hard massage soon turns into a hard-on massage.
These folks prefer their tips in cash, though.
Sunnyvale’s best kept secret is Hiyashi Massage. The address is
1240 Wolfe Road, but it is cleverly hidden in a small shopping
center just off El Camino. Also, there is NOTHING on the outside
to even hint it might be a massage parlor. The front looks like a
high-class nail salon, and the sign says “Body beautiful tan tone.”
When you walk in the door, there’s a long, narrow waiting area, like a
beauty parlor. But the only services available on the menu are half-hour
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellbgbb0992txt

Wednesday, August 15th, 2007

Archive-author: Bwana DePervert
Archive-title: Bwana’s Guide To Bouncing Boobs

LOOP Premium Graphics – Chicago
“America’s Breast BBS”
(708) 675-LOOP / @1992


The filename, BGBBxxxx.ZIP, is formulated to make future versions
(if any) easy to identify; BGBB = Bwana’s Guide Bouncing Boobs;
xxxx = mth/yr (0992). I’d like to say this concept is original,
but unlike the list itself, it’s not!


What started as a user request developed into this. It is by no means
a complete list of BOUNCING BOOB VIDEOS, but it does catalog a good
cross section of flicks (and principal performers) that are for the
most part still available through video outlets and manufacturers.
The videos listed here are either R- or X-rated. Additionally, they
are rated either 3 or 4 (4 being highest) on Bwana’s Personal Rating
System, which is based largely on erotisism and is purely judgemental.



Between My Breasts: #05 – Nichole Reed; C Starr; La Dawn; Raven
Between My Breasts: #09 – B Belle; C Love; T Roche; L Topp
Big Boob (Lingerie) Party – D Jordon; Georgina; Karen; Sheilagh; Madeline
Big Boobs: #02 – Toni, Maxine, Zoe, Georgina, Five More
Big Bust Babes: #01 – C Samples; R Brewer; R Pedon; M Monroe; Yum Yum; Doreen;
Big Busty: #02 (Busty Nymphos) – L Sands; A Ample; C Nelson; S Fox/R Court;
Bert; Mary Ann
Big Busty: #10 (Breast To Breast) – M Rae; C Canyon; K Stewart; Ursala
Big Busty: #22 – Nicole Reed; Tami; Angela Parker
Big Busty: Best Of Big Busty: #01 – K Stewart; L Sands; M Rae; G Reeves;
C Canyon; A Owens; C Kane; B Alton;
Karen Wing; A Sprinkle; C Nelson;
A Ample; Donna; K Nativadad and Debra.
Big Busty: Ten Years Of Big Bust: #01 – L Sands; K Stewart; C Nelson; N Reed;
B Bell; S Owens; E Duchi; C Samples;
M Rae; C Cane; D Jordon; Karen; P
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscellacronymstxt

Sunday, August 12th, 2007

Archive-title: ACRONYMS

The purpose of this list is to provide you with explanations
for many of those strange acronyms you see in ILink so you
don’t have to write a lot of “What does that mean?” messages.

AA Alcoholics Anonymous
AAA Travel club
AAAAA Travel club for alcoholics
ADN Any Day Now
AFAIK As Far As I Know
AWGTHTGTTA? Are We Going To Have To Go Through This Again?
B4N Bye for Now
BAMF Bad Assed Mother F-
BBS Bulletin Board System
BIOYIOP Blow It Out Your I/O Port
BRB Be Right Back
BRS Big Red Switch
BTA But Then Again (in response to IOW)
BTW By The Way
CU See you
CUL See you Later
CUL8R See you Later
DIIK Damned If I Know
DILLIGAF? Does It Look Like I Give A F-?
DL or D/L Download, transmit to you
DTRT Do The Right Thing
EOT End Of Thread (i.e., don’t reply to this message)
ES&D Eat S- and Die
FISH First In, Still Here
FITB Fill In The Blank_________
FUBAR F-ed Up Beyond All Repair
FWIW For What It’s Worth
FYDITM F- You Directly In The Mouth
FY&TSYRIO F- You And The Sysop You Rode In On
FYI For Your Information
G Grin (as in )
GAFIA Get Away From It All (as in drop out of ILink for a bit)
GD&R Grinning, Ducking & Running
GH Getting Hard (see GW)
GIGO Garbage In, Garbage Out
GIWIST Gee, I Wish I’d Said That
GLGH Good Luck and Good Hunting
GW Getting Wet (see GH)
IC I See
IDTT I’ll Drink To That!
IITYWIMIWHTKY If I tell you what it means, I will have to kill you
IITYWIMWYBMAD If I tell you what it means, will you buy me a drink?
…End of the part1. To be continued..

Archive-name Miscell8preludetxt

Saturday, August 11th, 2007

Archive-author: Byron Elbows
Archive-title: 8-preludes to stories

1. Honey drips slowly from the edge of the jar. Emma takes the knife and
catches the falling stream, feeding it back into the jar’s mouth. I have
watched her do this, not this exact thing, but this sort of thing, for almost
an hour now. Either the honey falling, or the wind through the screen door
blowing papers onto the floor, or else the newspaper catches when she tries
to fold it back on itself. She fascinates me, in a humiliating sort of way.
I could watch her for another hour, unseen.

2. She gets up now.
From my bedroom window, I can’t quite see her face when she stands up,
and just like on the tabloid shows where they replace the faces with a
featureless blue disk, I expect her or her body to betray some terrible
secret. Maybe she suffers from scoliosis, or psoriasis, or possibly some
horribly disfiguring congenital defect that now and then allows her navel
to grow as large as a football.
I wait, watching for the telltale swelling in her abdomen. Surprisingly,
it never happens. No, her body remains perfect, just like yesterday.

3. “Where’s my Pepsi!?!” she cries to no one in particular, staring into
her refrigerator. “All I wanted was a Pepsi \ldots” Well, I have to
laugh at that. Just what I’d thought about all day. But when I looked in
the cabinet, all I had was syrup of ipecac. Revolting, but hardly sufficient
for the job.

4. She walks over to the sliding glass door, opens it just wide enough to
slip her slim body through, then closes it. I can see her dress now, a sort
of twopiece summer outfit, leaving her midriff bare. God, I want that
midriff. She can have the rest of her body, but I’ll take this perfect,
Was that—? No, she just took a deep breath, that’s all.

5. She lies down on the lawn chair, reclining nearly all the way back, with
a Pepsi in her hand (she found one after all). Emma, Emma, Emma. I repeat
her name like Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, whose name I see in front of me as the
answer to a Trivial Pursuit question. I shake my head, annoyed, and the
mantra returns. You may have the alpha and the omega, but in between, there
always lives Emma, sweet Emma, a pretty little Greek figure in the middle of
all that Roman nonsense.
Still wondering? I only took Greek to decipher the sorority house names.
Imagine my disappointment when all the letter combinations appeared random,
rather than producing lurid, lascivious names, such as \ldots But I digress.

6. Emma sucks Pepsi through a straw. Sounds vaguely like some sort of
childhood insult. Your mother rides a vacuum cleaner. Your father has a
nose like a rubber hose. Emma seems mostly unconcerned about this.

7. She puts down the empty can on the cement patio with a hollow clank,
and closes her eyes. They do not like the sun, after all. I scratch my
I want to fall on her. Fall on her, like a Georgian flower, unfolding,
pressing petal to petal, surrounded only by the echoing sound of soft
waterfilled fibers. In my mind’s eye, the Pepsi takes on ambrosial
proportions, linking me with a divine nature. I see all the things I should
not ever see: every unicorn that ever ran, my hands held by someone on the
street, bells I never heard ring, and besides, the reverent smile of a little
boy and a blue blue sky.

8. I shake off my reverie to find her gone. I let out a hmph. The orchid
has fallen into the pond to meet its reflection with open arms, only to see it
disappear as it sinks slowly beneath the water. Shh! and goodbye.

(c) 26 Apr 1993

Archive-name Miscell77reasontxt

Wednesday, August 8th, 2007

Archive-title: 77 Reasons Why Animals are Better than Humans

1. You can throw the critter off your bed and they come right back
when you call em.

2. You don’t have to appologize if you cum in less than 3 hours.

3. They come in more colors than just black white red and yellow.

4. They consider cum a delicacy.

5. They don’t argue with you.

6. They don’t buy shit from the avon lady.

7. They think a herd of critters is better than just one.

8. You won’t catch any terrible diseases if he screws the bitch on the corner.

9. They already HAVE fur coats.

10. The don’t mind sleeping in the wet spot.

11. Animals don’t write e-mail flames.

12. Animals don’t divorce you and take half of your life.

14. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. A man’s best friend is his dog.

15. Animals can’t talk.

16. Animals can’t spell “mysogynist”.

17. Animals don’t drive.

18. Animals aren’t offended by the words “bitch” and “pussy”.

19. Animals don’t tell lies.

20. Animals will forgive you for being human.

21. An animal, when it’s horny, will let you know.

22. Animals don’t know what lawyers are.

23. Animals don’t call you a chauvanist pig when you hold the door for them.

…End of the part1. To be continued..